7/5/05---The word of the day is...."slight pressure"

So the other day, the wife and I are out on our new "walking program", wherein we walk 3 times per week and go up from 1 mile the first night, to 2 miles the 2nd night, and so on and so on.  So while we're walking, I'm telling some story and I use the phrase...."run amok".  And Kim looks at me and says:

"What the hell is that?  The 'word for the day'?"
"Whatta ya mean?"
"Well, ya know....you used that expression yesterday at dinnertime.  Now, you're using it again....its like its the word of the day or something."

Now, this was a couple of weeks after my wife had gotten on my case for using the phrase....."lo & behold"....when talking to the kids.  I have to admit that I stole that one from one of the judges at the courthouse.  But anyway, I decided that we have a new word for today.....and ladies and gentlemen....that word is..."slight pressure".
Please try and remember....."slight pressure"....as I regale you with details of what happened to me today.

I had to go for my checkup today....fairly routine stuff, blood pressure (holding steady thank you), cholestral (going down), blood work (everything okeydokey)....and then...(drumroll).....oh boy......the big one.  Every man, post 40 that is....their worst nightmare.....the old, ya know.....rectal exam (YIKES!).
Just saying it scares me.  I gotta tell you....after the exam....I'm confident in saying---I could never be gay.  I have nothing againt them personally (Not that there's anything wrong with that!), but the whole....hmmm...."invasion" process.  Very uncomfortable to say the least.  I was actually a very good patient because I had emotionally prepared myself for the big event, and the doctor was going to do it another time....and I reminded him that I was....(gulp).....due.  So I lay back, and he tells me to "lay in a fetal position on my side".  Holy crap was I glad that the video camera wasn't rolling.  And then.....and then friends of mine...he utters these words:

"You might feel a 'slight pressure'."

"Slight pressure"??
I guess he meant 'slight pressure' the way that Krakatoa was a 'slight volcano'.  Or the way that Hurricane Andrew was a 'slight storm'.  He's doing the exam and I'm thinking he's searching for his freakin car keys or something.  'Slight pressure'?
It got to the point where I thought:

I didn't ask for a tonsil check, did I?

Yeesh.  And then, it was over.  And he was happy to report, ya know, that everything was okay (I hate to use the phrase 'looking good' when discussing an exam of this sort) and that I would not being needing the dreaded (shudder).....
followup visit.  And gentlemen....you KNOW what that would've meant...(shudder).

Overall though, other than the "slight pressure", it went well.  Meanwhile, I think I'll look for a new...."word for the day".  I think I'm quite done with...."slight pressure".

Later,
Jeff