8/7/06---Kim's surgery

So I forgot to mention that last week Kim had some minor surgery on her hand.  I really hate to call any sort of surgery "minor", but considering she was in surgery all of about 10 minutes....I'm not sure exactly how else to refer to it.

We got up at 4:45am (AAARRRGGGHHH) and made our way to the surgery center, which is truly an amazing thing to behold.  Its like fast food surgery.  You go in, you get prepped, you have your surgery....and your out before lunch.  Amazing.  Kim was going in for some carpal tunnel problems that she was having with her left hand (just a tad ironic considering that's the condition that she treats at work).  She was a little aghast that she had to go in without makeup, no contact lenses and with a pair of gym shorts.
She gets there and they take her in, and begin prepping her.  After about 10 minutes they allowed me to go in and sit with her for a few minutes, as she has the tube up her nose and coming out of her arms, etc etc.  I told her just how sexy and desireable that she was to me at that very moment.  Husbandly support, that's what I'm all about.

They start the drip of the feel good juice, and Kim starts telling me "how relaxed she feels".  Oooh baby....only the good stuff.  I'm escorted out.....they begin to wheel her in....and before I have a chance to finish my magazine article....she's out and in the recovery room.  Unbelieveable.  I was even more amazed that a woman there was going in for cataract surgery that morning and would be released later in the day.  Back in the late 70's my mother had cataract surgery and was in the hospital for almost 4 days.  Technology.

So after a few minutes the nurse came over and told me that if I wanted too, I could start helping Kim get ready to go home.  They pulled a curtain for privacy, and then Kim told me that I needed to help her get dressed, since she had her left hand and wrist tightly bandaged and immobilized.  I reached into her clothing bag and pulled out her blouse....at which point Kim reminded me that the bra goes first.  Hey, I thought maybe she was going to be footloose and fancy free and just let them go free.  So I'm helping her with the bra, and having a slight bit of difficulty....and then told her that the problem was obviously the fact that I'm used to taking the bra off....not putting it back on.  Ahem.
After that I buttoned up her blouse and tied her shoes for her....I really was being a pretty good husband.  The nurse came over and complimented me on helping her out.
I displayed mock outrage that Kim would not be cooking dinner or rubbing my back that evening.

We got home and I fixed Kim some breakfast.  Froot Loops.  Nothing but the good stuff.  So then came the big moment.  Kim asked me to follow her to the bathroom.
No, not for that.  She wanted to make sure that she would be able to get her shorts back up.  A couple of moments later, she let me know that everything was okay.  That was the moment that the germ of a truly wicked idea came to my mind.

Kim returned to the table and I called Kellie out.  I told her that I need to talk to her about something very serious and grownup.  I told her that her mom and I had just realized that there was something we hadn't realized that we might need her help on.
Because, I said, obviously we couldn't ask her brother to do this.  She nodded her head seriously and said she was prepared to do whatever she needed to do to help.
I told her, in my most serious voice, that because of the surgery on her wrist, her mother might have a situation where, you know, she has to use the bathroom.....and, ya know, afterwards.....might have a problem with.....ya know......reaching around and.....ya know.......

Kim laughed after a few seconds.  But before she did.....the look on Kellie's face.
The look of horror at the possibility of having too....ya know.  Kellie turned to me and told me I was very mean--laughing while she said it---and I told her that it was worth it, if only for those few seconds when she wildly thought that she was going to have too.....

Ya know.

Later,
Jeff