9/13/07--Dealing with teenagers

So last weekend, we went to the kids football game--and naturally we arrived early, because if there is one thing that my wife is CRAZED about, its being on time.  For everything.  So we get to the game early, stake out our seats near the band and wait for the game to begin.
After awhile, the seats near us start to fill up, and we have a couple of teenagers who sit down near us.  The game proceeds and the kids are for the most part well behaved and things are fine.  Near the end of the lst half, (which saw the kicker for the kids school kick a school record 54 yard field goal) the section began to fill up with more and more teenagers, who obviously wanted to sit or stand next to one another.  As the new person would come into the area, rather than take a spot at the end of the row, they would sort of pinch into the middle of the section and the line would sort of slide down a little at a time.  So eventually, I have the kid sort of invading my personal space (or as my daughter likes to call it..."my personal bubble".)  I'm standing there and my wife tugs on my pants leg and asks:

"You aren't moving basically on principal, aren't you?"
"Your damned right."

So the first half ends, and then the section clears out and it looks like we're going to have plenty of extra space come 2nd half.  There are only the original couple of kids there, and for most of the 3rd quarter things are fine--but then--the section begins to fill up again with those damn teenagers.  The top row is once again beginning to spread out, and the kid who spent most of the first half hanging on top of me is once again starting to invade my personal bubble.  Then, with the row as about as full as it could get, another kid came and tried to nudge his way into the row.  He asked the other kids to move and they told him that there wasn't room...but the kid kept insisting.  Finally, I couldn't take it:

"Hey kid, its not gonna happen.  You know why?  Because if you come into this row then this kid next to me is going to spend the rest of the game hanging on top of me like he did the whole first half.  And I'm not going to do that again.  So if you want to sit down around here, do it in the row in front of you, because you're not standing here."

Dead silence in the section.

It was hilarious.  Finally I turned to the original kid and said:

"You know, allyou guys had to do was to ASK if my wife and I would mind moving down a few spots so that your friends could hang out together.  But you guys didn't do that.  All you had to do was ASK."

The kid looked at me as if I had just asked him to explain quantum physics.  Blank stare.

Another kid then walked over and tried to crowd his way into the row, but was told by the other kids that "that guy isn't going to move". 

I was the number one heel in the section, and like Ric Flair in his prime, I was loving it.

So finally, the kid who was hanging on top of me the first half turns to me and says:

"Um, excuse me sir, do you have kids who go to this school?"
"There in the band," I said, gesturing towards the band.
"The band?  Oh, I love the band.  They're really great."
"Yep."
"Um, may I ask you....is your daughter's name Kellie by any chance?"
"Well, yes...it is.  How'd you know?"
"Well I had a class with her a few years ago where you did a project on your family tree and I thought I recognize your photo from it."
"Really?  Wow, that's a great memory."

And I spent the next 15 minutes or so talking to the kid, who turned out to be very nice.
And on the ride home I told Kellie that I had a great story for her.  I related the story of my little run-in with the teenagers and how it ended up with someone that she knew involved.  So I told the whole story, and at the end of the story through out the kids name.  Which was Austin.

And she says:
"I don't know anyone named Austin."

And she tries to remember who this kid could be for the entire ride home.  When we get home she gets her yearbook from last year out and I start going through it, trying to find the kids photo.  Finally I locate him, and point to his picture.

"Here he is," I said.
"I have never seen that kid before in my life," Kellie replies.
"Well, he knew you."

And then my daughter said it.....and it was great.

"I gotta be honest with you.  A lot of people know me."

Oh man, its not easy being a celebrity at school.

Later,
Jeff