10/6/07---Being mocked in public by the wife

So over the last few months, I've been having some major dental work done.  Here's a note kids--take care of your freakin teeth!!  And when your younger, like 13 yrs old or so, talk your parents into getting braces for you.

So my dentist has been giving me a couple of crowns and a bridge in my lower left mouth.  Apparently she is quite the perfectionist, because even though my new permanent bridge is ready to go, she wasn't totally happy with it and wanted the dental lab to "build it up"--whatever the heck that means.  The dental assistant even told me that it was the sort of thing that I wouldn't even notice--but the dentist noticed it.
I don't know, I suppose that's a good thing.  So anyway, because of this....I'm still wearing the TEMPORARY bridge.  That's the key word.  Are ya with me?

So last night, before we go to our kids football game, we're at the lovely Applebee's having dinner and in the middle of biting into my chicken sandwich when I noticed something rolling around my mouth that didn't appear to be--ya know---chicken.
I guess I had a sort of weird look on my face because the wife asked me what was wrong.  I spit the item into my hand.  (I know, I know...pleasant thought, huh?)  Yessir, that's my temporary bridge!! 

Later, after gumming my way through the rest of the meal, I placed a call to my dentist's emergency phone number.  Her office manager gave me two choices:
1) Come see the dentist the next day (Saturday) and have her fix it.
2) Go to Walgreen's and pick up some Fixodent, and come in Monday as originally scheduled and get the permanent bridge put in.

I told her that I would try #2 and let her know if it worked.  So it was later that evening that we pulled into the Walgreen's drugstore and went into the dental aisle.  We found the Fixodent and noticed on the box that it was intended, ya know, PRIMARILY for dentures.  Oh man, did the wife take that and run with it.  So we get to the cashier and my wife blurts out:

"He needs these for his dentures."

Glare from me.

"I want to assure you," I said to the cashier, "that I do NOT have dentures."
"Huh?"
"I do NOT have dentures."
"I believe you."
"Then why are you buying Fixodent?" the wife said, sticking the needle in deeper.

I handed her the bag and walked out, the wife behind me....digging deeper and deeper.
"Look at it this way, its getting you used to used what you may have to do later in life."


And people ask me why I've been married three times.

Later,
Jeff