Saturday, May 9, 2009

Jeff & Kim take on the Eastern seaboard...I think it ended in a draw!

So last Friday (5/1/09), I left work early in preparation of our trip up the East Coast to pick my son Andy from his college in beautiful Hoboken, N.J. Now, I had left early with the knowledge that my lovely wife had made a 10am reservation (key word here) with the good folks at Hertz (remember their motto? "We try harder") to rent either a mini-van or an SUV so we could load up a college freshman with all his stuff from his college dorm and bring him home. Well...it sounded like a good plan at the time.I mention that because, much like a famous episode of Seinfeld from a few years ago, there is apparently a pretty major difference between MAKING a reservation and Hertz KEEPING a reservation.So I get home, hmm....around 1:15pm or so, and my wife tells me that not only did she not get the rental at 10am, they are hopeful they will have one at 2pm. We're already running behind schedule and the trip hasn't started yet!! So Kim calls at 2pm to see if our vehicle is there yet...and it is not. Now they are hopeful it will be there by 4 or 4:30pm. At this point, your personal favorite emailer of alltime (that would be ME) takes the phone and begins to make...."polite inquires" as to what is going on. After finding no satisfaction, I asked to speak to the manager who is on duty and am told--no lie---that "he is busy". I proceed to tell them that the manager had better make him self "not busy" or I was going to come down there and make my displeasure known in a rather loud and vocal manner. Suddenly the manager becomes available! I indicate to him my personal level of displeasure at the situation and ask what he...as the manager...is going to be doing to make me feel like a happy person again. I told him of the rather urgent time restraints that we were up against--having to be up in New Jersey and have my son out of his dorm by noon on Sunday. His reaction was a rather audible...um.....GULP. And I told him that I was willing to give him until 4:30pm to honor the "reservation" and then I would be forced to bail. The reason I didn't bail sooner or at that point is that, quite frankly, Hertz was offering a price at least $250 to $300 cheaper than anyone else. So finally I get the 4:30pm phone call from Hertz with the old "good news, bad news" scenario. They had an SUV....but it was a small SUV. One that was not going to be big enough to cart Kim & I, my sister Rene (along for the ride and some fun with her baby bro) and a teenage boy and all his stuff from school. He showed us the prospective ride. 2009 Lexus SUV. Leather seats, GPS....sweet ride. After some negotiation between Kim & I, and a last minute appearance by a pretty dirty Ford mini-van (big enough but it looked like a former resident of Anything on Wheels!), we decided that....by God, if we had too....we would take the Lexus. Life ain't easy folks. Oh, and the free tank of gas...and the no charge for the GPS....and we were told that once we got to New Jersey we could exchange it for something a little bigger. And away we go......only 8 hours late! We make the drive up to my sister's place in Jacksonville, Florida to spend the evening and sort of hang-out.The next morning we were up early and hit the road for our big adventure. We stopped for lunch in Lumberton, N.C. to enjoy some authentic Carolina style BBQ. Our timing was all that good as apparently the local church group in town decided to show up right before we did and the 2 or 3 people in line before us were apparently representing approximately 30 people waiting outside. DOH! Now, to me...the actual BBQ itself was "good". Not great, but "good". It was a buffet style restaurant, and what really made the lunch special was being able to pretty much go back in time and eat all the sort of stuff that my grandmother would have for lunch (which she called "dinner"). Butter beans, speckled butter beans, macaroni & cheese (and not that disgusting KRAFT mac & cheese--I'm talking about the REAL McCoy here), biscuits made from scratch, green beans.....I mean it was awesome. My sister was slightly more adventurous than Kim and I, and tried a couple of the "what the hell is THAT?" items from the buffet. We finished up with a small cup of 'nana pudding---not bad, but not as good as my Mom used to make!After that culinary explosion, we were back on the road again....this time driving through the beautiful mountains of North Carolina, Virginia & up into Maryland. We ended up somehow driving right through downtown Washington, D.C. (hello GPS!) before finally stopping for the evening in Baltimore....where we had dinner with my old friend Dennis Wiley & his wife Lori and son Devin. We had Mexican dinner that night at a Chevy's--which I can truly say was the only chain restaurant we ate at the entire week. It was a nice visit, with Den and I laughing over old stories and his son impressing everyone with his knowledge of various baseball team's entire starting line-up's.The next morning we stopped across from our hotel at a 7-11 to gas up and my sister got out of the car and promptly almost stepped into....some fried chicken. Yep, some obviously classy individual decided they were through with their dinner and dropped it on the ground at the gas station. My sister was completely disgusted to be started the day that way, but reminded us that...."All is well....all the time". (that apparently is her motto---I am far too negative to have that positive an approach to life) We then headed up the road about 3 1/2 hours--including a stretch on the lovely New Jersey turnpike--until we arrived in Hoboken to get Andy. One thing the trip only confirmed to Kim & I was how much we both are looking forward to one day leaving South Florida. It takes us a minimum of 5 hours just to leave the state of Florida from where we live, and here we were in Baltimore, a few hours from either New York city or North Carolina BBQ. So we get to Hoboken, and the weather is completely miserable. I had brought, based on information from my son that the weather the weekend before had been "90 degrees and sunny" approximately 6 or 7 t-shirts, couple of pairs of shorts, and ONE pair of jeans. It was 55 degrees and raining when we got there. I was slightly cold.We made our way up to Andy's room....and mind you, Andy's mom had told him to "have yourself prepared to leave when we get there". Apparently that translate to: "wash your clothes and....partially dry them".Nothing was packed. NOTHING. Clothes everywhere. Shoes everywhere. Dust---EVERYWHERE. Just allow me to say that apparently, in the men's dorm....hygiene...not a huge issue. I went across the hall to use the community bathroom and......wow. I'll leave it at that. Kim & Rene immediately took control of the situation and began packing Andy to leave....forcing him to decide what he was taking and what could be either thrown out or given away. We decided not to take the lovely collection of fingernails that Andy had going on his desk. (No, I am not kidding) The best part was Andy's comment when we pressed him on why his room was so amazingly filthy. "You should see the kid who lives upstairs."He informed us that his bedsheets had last been washed....uh....."bout a month ago". Oh my!!!We finally got his stuff ready for packing into the Lexus with the help of a couple of his buddies from school, one of whom was apparently wearing a rabbit or squirrel on his head (don't ask) and were all packed so tight into the smaller SUV that I'm pretty sure there were probably one or two code violations happening.We left Hoboken and headed up to the lovely villa of White Plains, New York. Once again, our friend Mr. GPS let us down at a key moment as we got off the interstate at one point and saw a sign that said:"Now entering the Bronx."Folks, allow me to say.....this....this is not a sign you want to see as a tourist unless you are going to see a Yankees game. Luckily Mr. GPS, who had gotten us into this mess, also got us OUT of this mess and on our way.....to scenic White Plains, where we had a reservation courtesy of my cousin Mary Ellen, who went above and beyond the call of duty in getting us a room at the Residence Inn that was pretty much bigger than the first apartment I had. I thanked my cuz, who immediately, in top notch Mission Impossible government fashion....disavowed any knowledge of how I got the room at a government rate.Later that evening we went out and had a nice Italian dinner with my cousins Mary Ellen and her two daughters, her brother Terrance & my Uncle John ("the good looking uncle") and my Aunt Cecilia. It was great visiting with family and laughing, updating each other on what was happening with our lives. After dinner we took advantage of some down time and stopped by a local mall to pick up a sweatshirt for me to wear since I was absolutely FREEZING MY REAR END off---this portion of my letter has been edited for content so my parents won't think "I'm working blue". But you get my meaning. And excuse me for asking, but...what's with downtown White Plains, New York looking like East L.A. at night?We were up early the next morning for our trip into Manhattan, which took about 30 to 45 minutes by train from White Plains....not a bad trip, but the scenery wasn't exactly up there with the mountains of North Carolina. We get to the city...and my sister....who lives in Florida.....starts looking for this hole-in-the-wall restaurant for some killer Cuban food. You leave Florida to find Cuban food? What's up with that???We finally locate it and afterwards we decide to take one of those NYC tour bus trips. In the rain.We were getting soaked through pretty much. We finally ended up at Union Square and took in the green market, which my sister was pretty impressed with---and all the while she's talking with everyone, pretty much sharing her ray of light on everyone she came into contact with. She's relentlessly peppy. It must be exhausting being that happy! Rene talks us into having a late dinner at Carnegie Deli, where they bring you about a pound of lunch meat with every sandwich....but since they charge you $22, it still works out for them. There are a ton of celebrity photos on the wall, which is sort of kitschy....but personally I think the place is sort of overrated. We also made our way down to Battery Park so we could make sure Rene had a look at the Statue of Liberty, and then took a cab back uptown---Rene came pretty close to starting a relationship with our cab driver "Bashir" (from Pakistan), which became the source of a lot of my material for the rest of our trip. After getting back to the hotel, we decided to have a late dinner at the Chinese restaurant in the hotel, and I truthfully had the best sweet and sour chicken I've ever had in my life---Rene struck up yet another relationship with our waiter "Andy", which he explained was his American name, as his real name---no lie----was Chow Chow.The next morning we got up, took everything out of the Lexus...piled it into our hotel room//apartment and headed out to the White Plains airport--which by the way looked like one hell of an alternative to Laguardia if you ever need it--and switched vehicles by picking up a Ford Explorer...with a GPS AND satellite radio.We went back to the hotel, packed up the entire vehicle...with at least half a foot to spare.....and began our long trip home.End of part 1.

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