10/15/04--on death & dying

I remember when I took my psychology class senior year in high school (which was waaaaay longer ago than I'd like to admit) studying the work of Dr Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, who had written a book called "On Death & Dying".....now for a high school kid its pretty heavy stuff, but over the last 25 years, some of the things taught back then in the classroom of Dr Terry Blaies (how I remember that is totally beyond me) have stayed with me.  The book was about not only learning to cope with death, or the loss of a loved one, but also how the person facing death dealt with the subject.  It really was an interesting discussion, if a tad morbid.  I was thinking about that earlier in the week when I learned my Uncle Ken had died.  I was told that his doctors had advised him a couple of months ago that his heart condition was no longer treatable and that he had 2 to 3 months left to live.
What does a person think when told that?  I mean, deep within the recesses of your heart and mind....what do you think about?  Do you accept it with grace and dignity, do you vow to not go quietly into night....how does someone come to grips with the finality of it all?  I suppose it must take a great deal of courage to face it...and to be the spouse or son or daughter of someone facing it.  Can you truly say everything that needs to be said?  Can you truly make all the arrangements? 

We faced our own version of finality the other evening.  Kim first got Trigger when she was only 15 years old.  He had been with her, sleeping at the foot of her bed, through high school, college, and two marriages.  But on Tuesday night, Trigger the now 24 year old cat (yep, 24 years old!) began to go into renal (kidney) failure.
The doctor told Kim that while she could begin to give him certain antibiotics and fluids, that it was probably inevitable.  He told her that Trigger was the equivalent of a 110 yr old man in a hospice ward.  The question was not if, but when.  And so Kim had to make the most difficult decision that a pet owner can ever make.....to put down an animal that had been with her longer than anyone or anything other than her father & brother.  Kim worried that doing this made her a bad person.  Nothing could be further from the truth, the doctor said.  Doing this shows courage and compassion for an animal who's time had come (and in the case of a 24 yr old cat---who probably well exceeded his time).  I told her of the worst day of my life.  The day I found my beloved Lady floating in the pool, either dead of a heart attack or drowning--because her cataracts had rendered her almost blind and her athritis had made her mainly a cripple old dog, but who I couldn't let go of.  Who I didn't have the strength and the ability to say goodbye too, even though I had her with me for almost 16 years.  I told her that I had failed Lady by not allowing her to go with dignity....and that she shouldn't fail Trigger the same way.  And as I told her this, and reminded myself again of Lady....I cried again.  Its been 17 years...and I still can't talk about it without becoming emotional.  It's something that I wouldn't wish on anyone, especially someone I love as much as Kim.  I told her that she didn't want to come home in a day or two and find Trigger laying dead on the floor, having gone through another couple of days of the misery and discomfort that kidney failure brings.  Kim told the doctor that her own mother had died from kidney failure, and it offered her a unique insight into the situation.  She remembered how miserable her mother had become towards the end.
So, with great sadness, she showed the courage to euthanise Trigger.  The doctor was very compassionate and explained everything--that Trigger would simply feel as though he was going to sleep.  And after saying her goodbyes, the doctor freed Trigger from his misery and discomfort.  He jumped up for just a second, whether from the prick of the needle or some last grasp at life...and then a clearness came into his eyes, as if he took one final glance at the world....and saw the person who had been with him on his journey of 24 years.  There with him at the very end.

RIP Trigger....the 24 year old cat.

Jeff

10/13/04--movies, movies, movies!

Hey, its been awhile...what can I say, I've had a lot on my plate, but I'll get into that a little bit later.  In the meantime, I realized  that it must seem like its been time immortal since my last movie review!  Well the good news is that I've got 3 really good ones for you to check out....and away we go!

1) Farenheit 9/11----well, if there's one thing you can say about this movie, its that it certainly seems to be one that everyone will, at the very least, have some sort of an opinion on. You either loved or hated Michael Moore's scathing  indictment on the Bush administration, the Bush family, and the war in Iraq.
The film is, without question, a propaganda piece.  I began watching the film understanding that...accepting that...and realizing that Michael Moore shouldn't plan on any invitations to a family picnic in Crawford, Texas, anytime real soon.  Now, that being said....I found that the movie was effective in the first 2/3's, but lost some of its steam in the last part (covering the war in Iraq and those within the military and outside of it's opposition to the action).  However, I think the first 2/3's are so amazing, and so captivating, that to declare that you "won't watch that liberal piece of crap", or that its "anti-american" is to really miss the boat.  To watch this movie is perhaps the MOST american thing you can possibly do.  Why?  Because in this country you can watch the movie, think its a total piece of garbage--or agree with 100% of what Moore is trying to say.  But that's the point.  You have the ability to voice your opinion on it.  People in other countries may not.  And to say it should not be shown, or censored....is outrageous. True patriotism is to watch the film, listen to the filmmakers views, and either agree or disagree.  To avoid watching the film because your republican...or conservative....or pro or anti this or that is taking a very narrow viewpoint indeed.  Whether you choose to agree with Moore or not, he makes some very serious allegations against the president's action before 9/11 and directly after, and brings to light some questions about the president & his family's ties to the Saudi royal family--ones that, if true, quite frankly make you really wonder just how objective our president can be in his dealings, on behalf of this country, with Saudi Arabia.
Now, that being said, the final 1/3 of the movie, the part that deals with the war in Iraq and its effects on the citizens of that country and our soldiers, comes off as sort of over the top and hammy, with scenes of the Iraqi children frollicking on the playgrounds days before the first U.S. attack.  I guess the whole dictator thing was vastly overrated, huh? 
Still...this is a very important movie that should be seen, and talked about.  ****
(I'm betting I get a phone call from my dad this very evening)
2) Bubba Hoe-Tep   So right about now I'm sure some of you are asking yourself...Bubba Hoe-Tep?  What in the Sam Hill is a Bubba Hoe-Tep? 
I did a few a personal top 10 list a few weeks ago, and little did I know the other day when I checked out this little gem that I would be altering my list.  Just check out the premise......The King, Elvis Presley, did not really die in 1977.  The person that died that night at Graceland was an Elvis impersonator, who had switched places with the real King a few months before.  The real Elvis, unable to prove who he really is (it was an agreement only the King and the impersonator had known about), manages to eek out a living as...you guessed it...an Elvis impersonator!  Currently though, he's living in an East Texas retirement home, recovering from a fall from a stage and generally being a grumpy old man.  Now, that right there is a great premise for a movie...but wait...it gets better.  Also residing at the nursing home is an older man that "claims" he's really JFK, and that he really didn't die in Texas that day.  Only problem is....the man is black.  Now...that right there would make a great movie...but wait, it gets better.  There have been some mysterious disappearences at the nursing home, which no one really thinks twice about, cuz...ya know...its a nursing home.  So Elvis & JFK set about to find out what's behind these mysterious happenings, only to discover the horrible truth.  (Here's where it really gets good)
It seems that an Egyptian mummy, recently discovered, has been touring the country and been stolen, and the thieves crashed their car into a river....located right next to the nursing home!  (Trust me, this is the greatest plotline in the history of cinema)
This sets up the inevitable, as E & JFK take on the mummy in a no holds barred throw down!!  And the best part of all this....I'm not kidding!  This is the best B movie I've seen since Big Trouble in Little China.  Its not a crappy low budget movie, but a fun filled ride through the mind of a grumpy King of Rock N Roll and his daily foibles (one of which involves a cancerous growth in a location that I will not have the temerity to discuss)  Run, don't walk to see this fantastic movie.  *****

Now, for the first time in awhile, I'd like to get back to my DVD collection.  The last film we discussed (in alphabetical order) was The Abyss, and today we discuss one of the alltime horror classics, Ridley Scott's ALIEN.  I remember the original tagline in the promotion for this film--"In space...no one can hear you scream".  One of the best films ever at creating a sense of impending dread, as a crew of a cargo spacecraft answers a distress call far out in space....and lets just say picks up a piece of luggage they hadn't counted on, along with finding out just how much their corporation feels their worth.  Terrific special effects, and a stellar cast of character actors, including Tom Skerritt, John Hurt, Yaphet Kotto, Harry Dean Stanton & Ian Holm.  The movie that made Sigourney Weaver a star, as well as having the greatest pair of underwear a woman ever wore in a horror film.  ****1/2  a little intense for the kids though---trust me, I tried.

Later,
Jeff

10/11/04--do you know what I hate?

I hate using my new laptop, and having not once...not twice...but THREE fucking times.....I hit some sort of "DELETE" button and my entry gets wiped out after I type something like 500 words....that shit can't go on.

A weekend of ups and downs.  I lost my Uncle Ken Bowdren last weekend.  He and my Aunt Gerri had been married for over 50 years and had 7 kids.  He was a credit to his community, having been a teacher, and to his family.  Uncle Ken loved to drink his Schaefer beer, and the next time you throw back a cold 12 oz, raise one to my Uncle Ken.  Not only would he appreciate it, he deserved it.
My sister underwent some major surgery last weekend, but looks on the way to a successful recovery.  She's not just good people, she's one of my favorite people on earth, and if its okay with the big man upstairs, I'd like to keep her around for a long, long time.  I'm thinking 'bout ya sis.

I've officially decided that as soon as my computer comes back from the shop I'm going to do all my typing on it.  The laptop is great, but boy am I sick of this thing deleting shit that I write.  Here I go for like the 3rd freaking time with this story.
So the wife and I go to the high school football game on Friday night.  The kids are in the band and their school, Ft Lauderdale American Heritage is playing Miami Pace, who's the defending state champs.  I tell the wife that it could get ugly for our side in a big hurry, as the kids from Pace are the size of some college teams, while the kids from Heritage (the Patriots) are basically a bunch of slow white guys, with a couple of great athletes thrown in the mix.  Well, unbelieveably the Patriots are giving Pace everything they can handle, and with two minutes left in the half the score is 0-0 when the punter for the Pats booms a beautiful 65 yarder that pins Pace on their own 1 yd line.  Amazingly, Pace begins a drive that takes them all the way down to the Pats 1 yd line.  A 98 yd drive!  The clock is down inside 30 seconds and Pace drives into the Pats defensive line twice and is kept out of the endzone, giving the Pats a huge emotional lift at halftime.  The 2nd half was close, with Pace taking a slim 10-7 lead with a few minutes left in the game--oh, and I left out a very key element in this whole story...the Pats are using their 4th string QB, since the week before they had lost not one...but TWO of their QB's to season ending injuries, including one particularly grisly looking broken leg (we're talking Joe Theisman-esque).  So now, with about 3 minutes left in the game, the Patriots begin an epic drive, complete with
a fake punt.  I mean, it was like a great boxing match, with one fighter beginning to wear an opponent down and having him against the ropes...ready for the knockout.
A beautiful misdirection call on the 9 yd line gained 8 yds and put the ball on the l yd line with about 30 seconds left in the game.  Sitting right next to me in the bleachers was the coaching staff of Ft Lauderdale Cardinal Gibbons, scouting Pace for a game down the road.  They were amazed that the Patriots had now put themselves in a position to defeat the defending state champs.....and then amazingly, the Patriots coach went into brain vaporlock.  Pace was out of timeouts, reeling against the ropes, ready to be knocked out....and the Pats head coach called a timeout.  I mean to tell you the Gibbons staff went crazy.
"What in the hell is he doing calling a timeout?  He's giving them a chance to regroup.
Back from the timeout, a quick smash into the line gained nothing....the clock is ticking....down 20 seconds.....its now 4th and goal.  The Pats offense, so creative that whole evening, called for a misdirection play.  And the QB.....the fourth string QB....who had up until that point played the game of his life....and with the opportunity to defeat the defending state champions in a game that he, his teammates and the fans of Ft Lauderdale American Heritage would remember for the next 20 years......the QB....TURNED THE WRONG WAY!!  He was tackled for a 2 yd loss as the crowd turned silent.  The Gibbons coaching staff shook their heads...
"Shoulda never called that damn timeout".
An amazing game that could have been epic....if only for those two words..."what if".
"What if" the QB had turned the right way?
Hey, its all about the thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat baby.

And if that wasn't enough....we had this little gem from the game....during the game three girls from the school, maybe 16 or 17 take a seat right in front of us.  During the game, those three are joined by 2 other girls, including one who's.....hmm....how do I put this?  She's one of those girls who's wearing an outfit that probably look a lot better on her if she weighed about 25 lbs less.  Getmy drift?  Anyway, so this girl looks over at one of the 3 original girls and says....and I quote:
"Logan...I just want to say that I didn't mean to call you a lousy skanky ho."
Logan thinks and says...
"Yes you did."
And the new girl says...
"Well if I meant it, I wouldn't be here apologizing."
Meanwhile I see one of the original three girls roll her eyes.

Teenagers.  Was I ever one of those?

10/8/04---I hate DELL computers

Ya know, its one thing  for your computer to be giving you the "occasional" bit of trouble...its something else entirely to try and contact the good folks at DELL and to end up talking to Hadji in New Delhi when you contact them for tech support. And almost as aggravating, as my good friend the lovely Ms Pinchon-Gleason is quick to point out...is that they never actually HELP you....they sure apologize a lot, but your still left with the original damn problem!  So my lovely bride is on the phone for seemingly forever the other night trying to solve the problem, and no one can seem to understand why the hell the Internet Explorer won't work on my desktop!  AARGH!
So last night, for reasons that I'm not exactly I was FINALLY able to go onto my laptop and...(brace yourself here)...surf the net!!  Ya know, like you are supposed to do when you have a computer!!  And I must say, its damn impressive.  LCD display and there's nothing quite like actually seeing the ENTIRE page, of a website instead of having it chopped off on the edge.  Something tells me that once we get this thing fixed TOTALLY, that I'm really going to enjoy the laptop.  The wife has officially decided that she hates computers and wants nothing to do with them.  Women....just because I sit on my fat ass while she does all the technical work...imagine that.

So lost last weekend in all the rush of getting the new dog and the new computer was what was an amazingly heartbreaking....SPORTS NEWS ALERT!! SPORTS NEWS ALERT!!....weekend for my sports teams.  UGH.
The Cubs remained....well, remarkably inconsistent in their inconsistency.  Give them credit...it takes one hell of an effort to not win a title in like 96 years.  I mean geez, the freakin Marlins have only been in existence for 11 years, have gone through 3 of the worst owners in the HISTORY of the game...and still managed to win 2 World Series titles over the last 7 years.....how is it that the Cubs don't have that sort of blind luck?  Really, its amazing that they haven't somehow managed to stumble into at least one title in almost 100 years.  While I was suffering through that, Notre Dame managed to get their asses handed to them....AT HOME...by Purdue.  That now makes 7 of Willingham's 19 losses at ND that have been by MORE than 20 points...and you wanna know why he's in trouble?

Well....I just thought I'd check in and let you know thatI was alive....I can't say the same for my desktop, which is just about 1/2 a step away from the old "reconfiguration".....wipe the old slate clean if ya know what I mean.

More tomorrow...including a great football game tonight and the incredibly stupid way that the team I supported BLEW the game....am I cursed???
Later,
JEFF

10/5/04--Part Deux

Part 2---the birthday gift.  So a few weeks ago, the wife starts asking me what I want for my birthday gift.  I had talked for awhile about getting a laptop, mainly so I can take my computer with me on trips, as well as having the ability to watch DVD's whenever we go anywhere.  So we had been watching the ads, waiting to see if something interesting would pop up.  Saturday night we went to the DELL store in the mall, got approved for one, but I thought it was a little expensive, so we didn't get it.  The next day I saw an ad at Best Buy that had a SONY laptop for a pretty nice price with no interest for almost a year and a half.  So I decide to call one of my computer guru's to get some advice.  I call big bro to get some input:
"So, uh...given the choice....would you buy a DELL or a SONY laptop?"  I ask.
"Oh hell...definitely DELL....good computer plus superior support services.
"Really....hmm...cuz I can get the SONY from Best Buy with no interest for a year and a half.
"Well....ya know, they have a good technical team at Best Buy too.  Screw DELL.
Get the Sony.  Ya know....all the damn computers are really the same basically."

That's what I like....a man who allows himself to be influenced by a key phrase.
Like....."NO INTEREST FOR 18 MONTHS".

So I go down to Best Buy with the wife, cuz let's be honest....I know nothing about computers.  I've had one now for 7 years, and if you ask me to defrag one, the only way I would know is to call a friend and get the instructions step by step.  (That's a hint by the way....someone send me an email with the instructions.  PUHLEEZE!)
So we get there....and naturally after selling me on what a terrific deal the SONY is, the sales guy comes over and announces that they've sold out.  Sold out?  The damn thing just got advertised today!  (Don't you love shit like that?)  So he calls a couple of other stores to find out if they have one...and of course...they don't.  So I offer to buy the one on the sales floor, and after some negotiating, we agree on a price.  (Let's just say that I won't be paying for that 3 year full warranty thank you very much)  So they go and install all their various insundry programs, I pick the thing up...take it home....and discover that the sales guy has given us the wrong wireless router.  (Props to my man Greg the Cable Guy for discovering that)  So Kim gets on the phone and calls the company that makes the router.  She wants to find out if the wireless router for a broadband router will work on a DSL.....why yes it will.  (which of course begs the question----then why the hell do you make two different ones????)  We then discover that our next problem is the fact that the damn internet explorer on my computer still will not FREAKIN WORK!!  Its only been 6 mos, but hey...who's counting??  Of course, now its really putting a burr in my ass because I need to go online to register my laptop at the wireless router site.  Only one problem.  I can't get online!!  Well....I probably should phrase it like...."Kim can't get online", as I hear the gentle cursing beginning by the computer monitor.
So the guy from Bellsouth tries to help her figure out why the internet explorer isn't working.....for 3 and a half hours they try....and it ain't working.  So the next day, I'm talking to the Cable Guy, who had burned me a copy of Microsoft Explorer download---only its not working too.  So I go to the Microsoft site, and as CG is walking me through the process he utters these famous words.....
"....and so you see the thing about Windows Update?"
"Um...yeah."
"Well, as long as your there...you might as well update your Windows.  When's the last time you updated?"
"Updated?  Um....I'm supposed to be updating stuff?"

You could practically hear CG's  hand slapping his head with the Homer Simpson
"DOH!" over the phone.

"Uh...I think we may have located part of the problem," CG says.

So then I begin the download....and CG asks me how long the computer is saying that I'm going to need to update....CG says his computer (updated weekly remember) usually needs a couple of minutes to update all the latest stuff.  How long does it say its going to take my computer?

"Um....3 and a half hours."
"Call me later."

I guess my computer needed some updating.  And today, I'm proud to say....the internet explorer.....still isn't working.  See why I don't know computers?

Later,
Jeff

Okay...I lied...its 10/5/04

Alrighty....so here's part 1 of my weekend recap.....
1) The new addition to our family.  So as you may remember from a few weeks ago, the kids and I have basically been giving the wife some grief about adopting another dog.  After the whole hurricane thing, there was a rather extensive article in the local paper about the animals that had been displaced by the storms, and were looking for new homes...ya know...that sort of thing.  Anyway, we were planning on going a week ago, but you know...the whole Hurricane Jeanne thing put a bit of a damper on the visit.  So Saturday morning we headed off to an animal shelter in Boca that's a "no kill" site and checked out a couple of potential candidates.  There was one that was kinda cute (hey!  I know someone by that name!) named Mindy, who was a Schnauzer mix and very affectionate.  But I decided that I wanted to go down to the Humane Society in Broward and check out what they had to offer, especially since they had advertised a Border Collie was available....since that's what my boy Midnight is, I wanted to take a gander.  I also selected 4 other potentials.  Well, when we got there, it was the old "good news, bad news" scenario, as every single dog that I had picked out on the website had been adopted (I mean--that's not really BAD news--just disappointing) and the place was absolutely MOBBED with people trying to adopt an animal (which is good news).  Well we settled on two finalists to look at, a Catahoula (which is a hunting dog from Louisiana) and an Akita.  As it turned out, there was a hold on the Catahoula, so we decided to look at the Akita.....a very affectionate girl named Jasmine (which is a horrible name).  She was very sweet, and besides all that she was a return--apparently her owner had her for a couple of years before becoming ill and having to give her up--which meant that if we wanted her we could take her home that very day.  That would give us a chance to let her and the fellas get to know one another (which was viewed as a positive).
Her chart said that she was good with kids, other dogs, cats and potty trained.  The deal, as they say, was sealed and Jazz happily jumped into the car for the ride to her new home.  She seemed pretty happy, especially since she had been at the Humane Society for 3 weeks (hey, I'd be relieved also).  We decided to have the first meeting with the fellas across the street, sothat we could establish all the psychological boundaries and she wouldn't be perceived as "invading their turf".
UGH!  The hoops I jump through for dogs!    My worries weren't warranted as within a few hours Midnight & Jazz were chasing each other around the kitchen table, playing like they had known each other all their lives.  Beezer on the other hand, seemed a tad depressed.  Kim & I think he was reacting as if he had lost his buddy Midnight to the new dog.  But I realize that eventually they will all get used to one another and get along fine.  There's really no aggressive behavior, other than the occasional growl when Midnight gets too close to Jazz's food bowl.  Hey, I do the same thing when one of the kids won't pass me a roll with dinner.
So the next day....we were coming home from the trip to Best Buy (that would be Part 2 of the story today) and as I opened the door, Jazz decided to check out the rest of the neighborhood.  OMAN!  She decided to sprint for the end of the street, and thankfully decided to head west, instead of going towards University Drive.  So I'm running after her, and truth be told, my ass is waaaaay to fat and waaaaay too old to be chasing some damn dog around the neighborhood.  Thankfully, someone on the next street over had his dogs on the front porch, and Jazz decided to go over and see what the heck they were up too.  I ran up to get her, and Jazz makes another bolt for it.  I did the old Golden Glove grab for her collar and made a spectacular catch....thereby saving my wife the trouble of admitting me into the hospital with heart failure.  Needless to say, Jazz will NOT be going outside without the leash for QUITE awhile.
Other than that....she's fitting in, chasing the cats, roughhousing with the fellas, and demanding a treat whenever the mood strikes her.  Typical woman!

Part 2 later....
jeff

10/06/04---A.M.--where the hell have I been?

A very good question....and one that I actually plan on answering!!  'Cepting, its time to go to work....but if you come back later today, I'll have details on a weekend full of drama.  Among the highlights...

1) The new addition to our family
2) My birthday gift from Kim
3) Drama involving my computer---which coincides with where I've been
4) Sports heartbreak over the weekend
5) Basic other shit too

For all these stories and more...check back this evening...sorry about the problems, but...let's be honest...you live for this and you enjoy watching me suffer!

Later,
Jeff