11/14/04--Bachelorhood, "The End in South Bend" & a creepier than hell movie

Well, the family went up to 'lando this weekend.  Andy had some band competition, something I try and avoid like the plague.  Kim figured she would go, take Kellie and kill two birds with one stone by taking them to Universal afterwards.  I figured that meant a couple of days of football, boxer shorts, belching and all that sort of good stuff.  And ya know what?  I realized sometime yesterday a horrible thing.  UGH!
I missed my family.
Good Lord....I may actually be maturing.  How could this happen to me?

SPORTS ALERT SPORTS ALERT
Well, I watched some good games yesterday, as I got my first chance to watch Boise State (taken to overtime by SAN JOSE STATE!!), a very good Iowa-Minnesota tilt (I still can't figure out how the Goph's lost that one), Auburn put a can of whoop ass on Georgia, and Miami go up to Charlottesville and look impressive in defeating a very good Virginia team.  My boy Hugh had written the Canes off for dead.
Speaking of dead, I decided to tape the ND-Pitt game yesterday.  It was the Irish's
last home game of the season, and the game between Tennessee & USC.  Now as bad as the Irish had looked losing to BC, Purdue & BYU....a victory over a thus far this season very average Pitt team would at a minimum lock us into the Gator Bowl, with a very slight chance of moving up to the Cotton Bowl.  Well, screw that. 
In keeping with a recent horrible trend, the Irish allowed someone named Tyler Palko, the Pitt QB, to look like the 2nd coming of Dan Marino--the guy threw 5 t.d's against our defense--in our stadium.  Now that's bad enough, especially because for once this season our offense actually played a pretty damn good game.
But this may have been the worst officiated game I've ever seen.  I mean, they were horrible.  There must have been 4 pass interference or holding calls in the last quarter alone.  I'm not stupid--I know that ND's defensive backfield isn't exactly the Steelers of the late 70's--but geez Louise---if Pitt hadn't won the game, I'd be wondering why.  By the way, for all of you Michael Wilbon fans from ESPN---that now makes Ty Willingham 13-14 in his last 27 games---yep, he's turning the corner.

I actually went out to see a movie last night!  Yep, actual theatre new release, the whole nine yards!  I went out with my boy Steve Guerra last night and we had planned on seeing Friday Night Lights, the film about high school football in Texas.
Stupid us, you see, when we see a movie advertised in the newspaper at 7:20pm, and then show up at 7:15pm---why would we expect the theatre to actually be showing the film??  Especially when they could bump the film and make room to show SEED OF CHUCKY in another theatre??  UGH!  And the freaking old lady at the window actually had the nerve to say..."that's why you should call first".
Hey lady---F you.  That's why YOU should check your advertisement.  So anyway, faced with not a lot of other films we wanted to see (Seed of Chucky?  Puh-leeze.)
I took Steve's recommendation and went to see (no pun intended) "Saw".  I have to be careful how I word that.  Am I supposed to say I went to see Saw?  Or that I saw Saw?   Or I went to see, and then saw, Saw?  Oman!  Anyway:
1) SAW--holy crap, what a creepy movie.  Creepy like Seven, or Silence of the Lambs, or maybe The Cell.  You wanted to take a shower when you got out of the theatre.  Its definitely NOT for everyone (this is the type of movie that my man Dino would HATE).  Its not an Oscar caliber effort like Silence, but its not complete crap either.  Its a creepy, get under your skin, twisted little movie about a serial killer named Jiggsaw, mainly because of the mind games he plays with his victims.  And oh man does he screw with their minds.  The stars of the film are Cary Elwes (who appears to have not missed any meals lately--much different than his Princess Bride & Top Gun look) & Danny Glover...naturally playing a cop (does he do ANYTHING else?).  Suffice to say, the film involves two men (Elwes is one) who wake up in the dingiest, grimiest bathroom that you've ever seen in your life, both chained to a pipe across the room from one another.  They are given clues as to how they can free themselves--but there is a time limit--and there are rules that they must follow.  One hell of a creepy ride.  Its not horror, its more suspense.  And pretty damn good suspense at that.  ***3/4

Later,
Jeff

11/11/04--Veteran's Day....Andy drives us crazy...and movies

Well, before I begin my diatribe...let's everyone take a moment and remember what today is really all about.  I'm proud to say that my father and my brother are veterans and their service to our country does nothing but earn my respect.  Thank a vet today.
Young Mr. Andrew Poe-Bowdren may drive me to medicate myself.  I'm talking of the vicodin or darvocet variety.  UGH.  THe kid is so naturally intelligent, I mean in a totally brainiac kind of way--but there's something that's not connecting somewhere.
He brings home a report card that has grades that aren't up to his ability.  He forgets assignments and reports.  I'm not sure if its immaturity, or his own way of rebelling (although I seriously doubt that), or just his brain skipping a beat occasionally.
He does things that absolutely drive you crazy.  He had a project early this year that was supposed to be a notebook, turned in for credit that had like 25 assignments that were supposed to be inside.  Andy turns in the notebook--with 2 assignments completed.  I mean...what the hell are you thinking?  And he'll just look at you, like there's nothing going on upstairs--like the fact that he's done something incorrect just is not registering with him.  Well, the other night Andy realized that he had a major biology project that was due--according to the school's website it was due the next day, but the paper regarding the project said it wasn't due until the 19th....nice having a consistent information flow, huh?  Anyway, we got after Andy again, trying to explain to him just why all his assignments are important and how, now that he's in high school, every grade is going to be evaluated down the road.  We've tried yelling, talking calmly, taking things away, offering things as rewards....and the light just does not seem to go on.  I'd like to think that its a maturity thing, and that sometime in the near future its all going to become very clear to him.  But, in the meantime, I told him last night that his mother and I are done with him not recognizing the importance of these things.  We finally gave him an ultimatium.  He has until the end of this year to show an improvement in grades and organization or we will not be enrolling him at American Heritage next year.  That'll mean that he would be going to public school.  I don't know if that will wake him up or not, but at least his mother won't be spending a huge amount of money on an education that he isn't taking advantage of.  UGH.

Since it was the holiday, I had a chance to sit home today and watch a movie.  I picked a good one.  About 20 years ago (!!), director John Hughes made a great movie about the joys, pains & heartaches of going to high school everyday by following one high school sophmore (Molly Ringwald) on her 16th birthday in the wonderful "16 Candles".
Now, 20 years later, Saturday Night Live writer and star Tina Fey has crafted a similar-yet-different story with:
1) Mean Girls--Lindsay Lohan is the star of this film, and here is one of the major differences between this film and 16 Candles.  Ringwald was near perfect as the gawky, awkward teenager, blooming from girl to young woman.  Lindsay Lohan isn't just hot--she's smoking hot--I mean stripper hot.  As a quick aside, she has a set of cans on her that are just screaming Playboy centerfold when her movie career finally begins to tank.  Anyway, now that I've got that piece of business out of the way, this is a really good, bitchy comedy about teenagers and high school.  I say that because this is not a "high school comedy".  This is a movie about the cliques that exist in high school--the backstabbing, the "drama", the whole little "cult of personality" that makes the pretty girl--the one who everyone secretly loathes--the most popular girl in school.  This movie was so good it actually included the rarest of all things--a scene where Tim Meadows was actually funny.  Think about that!  ***1/2

And now, let's go back and continue with a review of my DVD's--once again, in alphabetical order.  Starting with:
1) Bad Santa--one of the things that I love about this movie, which stars Billy Bob Thornton, Bernie Mac & the late John Ritter, is that it stays true to its dark soul.
This isn't one of those movies where in the end, someone who's corrupt, vile and evil gets reformed and turns a new leaf.  Nope, not our Santa.  Thornton stars as the most wicked Santa ever, a con man who uses the holidays with his very own elf (Tony Cox--hilariously profane as always) to steal and rob from department stores.
Let me just say this:  this isn't a holiday movie you should watch with your kids.  Its lewd, its vulgar, its raunchy...there are scenes where they seem to be throwing every crewd possibility up against the wall just to seewhich ones will stick.  And ya know what?  Some of them are funny, and some of them aren't.  But you have to give credit to the Coen Bros, executive producers of the film, for basically taking the scattergun approach to skewering the Christmas holiday.  Some of it doesn't work, but the stuff that does will have you laughing your ass off.  ***
2) Bananas--back in 1971, Woody Allen was one funny guy.  I mean, he hadn't started looking deep within himself for answers to the mysteries of life like he would later on.  He just set out to make silly, funny as hell movies.  This is a classic example.  Here, Woody play Fielding Mellish (and one thing Woody always had a knack for was coming up with truly ridiculous names for his characters), a product-tester (watch out for a scene demonstrating his job skills) who decides to go on a vacation after being jilted by his girlfriend to the tiny republic of San Marcos--only to be kidnapped by rebel soldiers!  Without going into details, Woody ends up becoming the leader of the rebels and the whole thing is just a riot.  This movie also features the greatest supporting performance of Howard Cosell's career.  ****1/4

Later,
Jeff

11/9/04---Laying the smack down on the Rock's candy ass

So I leave work early today, mainly because my little pisspot is home sick, and because she actually called me to find out when I was going to come home (a rare honor in my mind).  So this afternoon, I cruise the PPV channels and I see:

1) Walking Tall--yep, its a remake of the old classic which featured Joe Don Baker as the ass kicking sheriff of the redneck town that was run by moonshiners.  Except, somewhere along the line they sorta played with the storyline here.  Now, in this remake, the location is sort of vaguely supposed to be the northwest, and there aren't any more rednecks--which quite honestly is a HUGE disappointment.  Now the Rock plays the former special forces soldier who comes back to his hometown and finds things have changed.  The old mill where his dad worked has closed down and now the big money earner in town is the casino...and the adult book store that moved in across from where the old hardware store used to be.  One of the great things about this movie is how it so desperately keeps dropping all these references to the original movie, wanting badly (apparently) to be paying homage to the film like it was Citizen Kane or something.  But it does it so badly, so over the top, that you almost laugh out loud.  Like the scene in the courtroom where Rock stands up to defend himself against charges brought against him and he says....
"I remember when living in this town meant something...it meant...it meant you walked tall!"
(Snort)  Sorry, I laughed just recalling it.  I'm surprised they didn't name one of the characters Joe Don or something--although I did find it cute that the Rock's girlfriend in the movie is named "Danni", which is the name of Rock's real life wife.  Subtle.
I watched the Rock's movie before this one...the Rundown...where he had Sean William Scott as his young sidekick and Christopher Walken as the lead villian.
Well, I don't wanna say this movie isn't quite up to that level, but you know going in when you see that Rock's sidekick is played by "Johnny Knoxville"....he of MTV
"Jackass" fame (and I'm proud to say I've never seen a single episode)....that Rock isn't going to be getting any Oscar caliber support here.  Lots of explosions, lots of ass kickin, gunfire galore, and one truck sawed in two while searching for contraband.  Wow, was this movie horrible.  BOMB
However, this movie is so bad, on so many levels....that its almost worth watching.
I just wouldn't recommend actually PAYING for it when you do it.

Later,
Jeff

11/8/04---Returning to my wrestling roots

I actually watched a wrestling PPV last night.  I went over to the professor's house, watched some TNA, and realized just how incredibly out of it I was in regards to the first sport (?) to capture my heart in my youth.  The show was pretty good, but I was continously amazed as I kept asking either the professor--or the cable guy--or the magnet.....who is this guy?  I mean I couldn't tell the heels from the babyfaces and when the guys you recognize are the ones considered the "old farts" in the business...OMAN!  Its time to look at what you've become.  And I have decided, much to my eternal sadness....that I am no longer a "wrestling fan".  I have moved onto the point of now having become a "wrestling historian".  Geez is that depressing.  But it speaks volumes of how bad the product delivered to mainstream america (ahem--that would be you Mr. McMahon) has become.  Its sad when someone comes up to me, knowing how long I've been a fan (34 years!!) and asked me if I had seen this or that from the night before....and having to say:  "sorry, I just don't watch it anymore."
Now, ask me about something from the 70's or the 80's--I'm all over that RPM getting free BBQ at Tom Jenkins.  But the current scene either doesn't inspire me or interest me enough to care about.  I suppose its good for my marriage.  It leaves me with more social time with my family and//or friends.
But it makes me sort of sad.  Corene, I gave it 34 years.  I gave it my best shot.

Interesting football weekend (whoops...sorry!  SPORTS ALERT SPORTS ALERT)....Notre Dame managed to go into Knoxville and defeat the Vols.  Of course, they defeated them by knocking out their freshman QB, and having them insert a 3rd stringer....and then only winning by 4 points.  But, a win's a win a win.
However, this is (to quote my man Jim Davies out in Cali)..."this is the type of win that hurts the program more than it does it good".  And by that I'm sure Jim means that this is the type of game that makes people think that Ty Willingham really has turned the corner.  UGH!  Puh-leeze.  Meanwhile, our offense continues to be among the worst I've seen in 31 years following the team--even worse than the Gerry Faust years---CERTAINLY worse than the Bob Davie years (!!) and even worse than the incredibly boring yet efficient Dan Devine last couple of years.
Rumor out of South Bend has Ty being put in the position of finally dumping downright offensive coordinater Bill Diedrick at the end of the season.  Lordy let's hope so.  And how about those mighty Canes?  I guess that move to the ACC wasn't quite the cakewalk they thought, huh?

11/7/04---My baby Ceci ties the knot

It was somewhere in the late 80's, maybe '88 or '89, and my man Dennis Wiley was spending a lot of time down in Rm 130.  I mean more time than usual.  And it always seemed to occur around 3pm.  After some minor investigation I learned that the reason for the Den-Man's sudden interest in the 3pm shift in Rm 130 was a young lady named Jessica.  Of course, Dennis was like 25 years old and Jessica was 17 (what a perv!), but I can't argue with his taste, because she was an absolute knockout.  Jessica was one of 4 girls who started about the same time, working part-time for the clerks office after school (as in HIGH SCHOOL--just in case Dennis forgot--hehe).  There was Jessica, who was hotter than July; Maribelle, who's mom worked in administration and was sort of the "ugly duckling" of the group, very sweet but shy; Adrienna, who was the "party girl" of the group and a habit of showing up to work with a (ahem) hangover; and finally, there was Ceci.
And in Ceci you could see the diamond inside just beginning to show.  While Dennis was noticing Jessica, I couldn't help look at Ceci and think of how she was going to end up being the best of the bunch.
I was right.
Yesterday Ceci....my "baby Ceci"...my "Bofeci" married Jorge Nunez.  It was a very nice ceremony, with a mass held in Spanish (there were no bad words so I understood basically NOTHING) and a beautiful reception held in North Miami at the old Spanish Monastery.  Kim & I sat at a table with Laura & Rene Gonzales, Leslie Taylor and Digna Gonzales & her former husband (and current boyfriend) Joe.  We had a wonderful time (although it poured rain) and was able to play a great practical joke on Ana Serrano, who was seated at the next table.  I was taking a pic of all the ladies and jokingly told Ana to show some more cleavage.  Well she was very embarrassed, apparently thinking I was still married to Kelly, and believing that Kim was going to be upset with HER because of a comment made by ME.  Well we just grabbed the ball and ran with it.  Kim started flashing her dirty looks, and Ana's sister Lizette would say things like..."Jeff's wife said she wants to talk to you!"...and poor Ana was almost near panic.  Finally, Kim walked out onto the dancefloor and took Ana by the arm...."You do realize this is all a big joke on you, don't you?"
Ana then looked over and saw the rest of us laughing....and the look of relief on her face was hilarious.  After which she threatened to kill all of us.
And seated at the table with Ana and Lizette?  The former "ugly duckling" Maribelle,
now married and transformed into the swan.  She's quite a stunner!
But the evening belonged to Ceci, who was a beautiful bride.  During the toast to the new couple, Ceci's sister told her new groom...."congratulations Jorge....you struck gold."  And Jorge looked at his new wife and said:
"I know."
I'm glad he does.  Congratulations and all the best to both of you.

Later,
Jeff

11/4/04--A Letter to my Father

Dear Dad,
      Well I woke up on Wednesday to discover that George Bush had been reelected president.  I was disappointed,  because I had voted for Kerry.  I voted for Kerry not so much because I believed in him, but because I didn't believe in Bush.  I'm going to try and explain why.
     Its not a "republican" thing....or a "democrat" thing.  I have no plans to jump on the "Hillary in '08" bandwagon (puh-leeze!).  I have no problem telling anyone who would ask that I would have gladly voted for John McCain if he had been on the ballot as the republican candidate.
     I don't trust George Bush.  I don't trust what he's become.  I don't trust that the republican party has allowed itself to be taken over by the extreme rightwing nuts.
I don't mean honest, conservative church going folks.  I mean the ultra right, who use religion as a weapon--who use it to intimidate their opponents.  Who claim that anyone who disagrees with the administration is "anti-american". 
     I worry that my 15 year old son will be draft eligible in a few years.  I worry, as someone who uses words and loves to writes, that "freedom of speech" is being looked at completely different than it was 20 years ago.  I worry that our president doesn't like people to discuss his past, but felt that his opponents were fair game.
I worry that our president doesn't like to admit when he's made a mistake.  Ever.
I worry that our president's family has some ties with the royal family in Saudia Arabia that he doesn't particularly care to discuss.  I worry that Iraq will turn into this generations Vietnam.
    I know with your personal background that you will always favor a strong military and a strong defense.  I respect that.  But I worry that some republicans are so vitriolic in their hatred of anything Clinton or related to Clinton that it makes it easy to blame our former president than to question the decisions or strategy of our current one.
    I love my country....but I'm worried.

Your loving son,
Jeff

11/1/04---night before...you know what!

Well, its the night before the presidential election and I'm still trying to recover from our big holiday soiree.  Compounding all this was getting the kids report cards in the mail the other day and not being...well....terribly happy with the results.  Kellie in particular disappointed us quite a bit with a report card that included two "D's" and one "F".  Unacceptable!!
She has now lost her phone, her television and her shot at playing basketball with the school team.  And I still let her off lighter than I would have her brother.  His report card was no great shakes, but at least it didn't feature any D's or F's!

Got a chance to check out a couple of movies over the weekend and here are my thoughts on them....
1) American Wedding--you know, you can always tell when a movie series has hit the end of the road.  Sometimes you have that rare occurence when the 2nd part is better than the first (Road Warrior, Alien, Austin Powers, etc), but almost ALWAYS the 3rd one is being made just to cash in on the money making machine and the movie will end up really being terrible.  Here's a prime example.  American Pie was a really funny look at how embarassing it can be to be a teenager and had some laugh out loud moments, mainly provided by Eugene Levy as the father of one of the characters.  The 2nd one in the series, the appropriately title American Pie 2 had a few laughs, but quite obviously wasn't as funny as the first one although it wasn't bad.  Now, here in the 3rd one....they've obviously run out of ideas.  The other thing that is wrong is that they've taken a very funny, although incredibly obnoxious, and tried to make him the main character of the film.  And it fails terribly, just like it would have if the folks from Seinfeld had made a t.v. show about Kramer.
That character was a laugh riot when he was given 5 minutes a week, but if he had his own show he would've been insufferable.  In the case of this movie, Sean William Scott's character of Stifler, who is put into a seemingly more revolting situation every film, is made to carry the film and isn't up to the job.  Why?  Because he's basically a very unlikeable character that we have no emotional investment in---and one that we don't WANT to make that investment in.  There are a few cute scenes, but if the 2nd in the series was worth half the laughs of the original, this one is worth half the laughs of the sequel.  * 1/2
2) Reservior Dogs--this may be the ultimate "guy's" film.  I say that , because in all the years I've been a real film buff, I don't think I've ever met a woman who liked this movie.  Its a violent, profane, loud and horribly graphic look at a robbery gone horribly wrong.  That being said....its terrific filmmaking.  The movie is told from about 5 points of view, all trying to explain (or understand) why the crime went so wrong.  Outstanding performances from Harvey Keitel, Tim Roth, Steve Buscemi,
Christopher Penn, Lawrence Tierney (where'd they dig him up?) and Michael Madsen---who plays a character that it could be argued may be the most despicable person ever to grace celluloid.  A wild, violent ride.  ****1/4
The DVD is terrific, with a ton of great extras!

Get out there and vote tomorrow!
Later,
Jeff