2/6/05--24...my own personal reality show

So ya know that show "24", starring my one-time-before-I-got-fat-look-a-like Keifer Sutherland?  Well I got to experience one of those type of days beginning Friday.  I woke up Friday morning and began to realize that my wife, and I love her, had passed her cold onto me.  I had the body aches, my throat was scratchy...and I was pissed off.  I admit it.  I'm the world's worst patient when I'm sick.  I'm cranky, moody...just probably not a lot of fun to be around.  So after work we dropped Andy off at tae-kwon-do class, do the grocery shopping and then go to dinner.
We decided to head to DiSalvo's for some Eye-talian food.  We get there, and I see the hostess, the same one who about 4 weeks ago told us our wait would be "about 15 minutes"--even though we already had a reservation.  I seriously thought I was in the middle of that Seinfeld episode where they go to the Chinese restaurant.  So tonight, while we're waiting, the owner//manager comes over with a carafe of wine and some garlic rolls.  Nice gesture.  Well, right ahead of us on the waiting list is an older couple who apparently were from Germany.  So we start watching as they very slowly start to totally mooch not only the garlic rolls, but the carafe of wine!!
They were getting three sheets to the wind, and it was perked!  And then, AFTER they had been seated, the guy gets up and goes to the front of the restaurant---where he proceeds to grab even MORE garlic rolls and finishes off the carafe.  It was hilarious.  Since we were waiting to be seated, we were watching them.  They ordered a medium pizza and coffee.  So let's review here.  They come out for dinner, get a carafe of wine...garlic rolls...coffee...and a pizza.....and walk out spending maybe $10.  Old people--they know how to live baby.
So while we were waiting--and while we weren't watching the old couple--the hostess started chatting with us.  Naturally Kellie was little Miss Chatty, talking about the school she goes too, etc.  We had our neighbor James with us, and he was playing it fairly cool...and then there was Andy.  We watched him "attempt" to interact in this scenario and realized that he was the same age as the hostess.  They might as well have been from other planets. 
Then we wake up Saturday morning at 6:45am (aahh!) to take Andy to the taekwondo school so they could drive him to his tournament.  We got to the Broward County Convention Center for the tournament.  Now mind you, I'm still battling the effects of the cold, right?  So we walk into the building and it has to be...tops....65 degrees in the building.  I mean I am freezing my ass off--and needless to say I know its not helping my cold.  When we arrive we find out that the tournament is being run by the dreaded Master Park, who was the kids first taekwondo teacher.  That lasted a little over a year, when we discovered that the level of teaching was in line with the amount of $$$$ that you gave to the school.
He told us how much he wanted us to let Andy & Kellie join his "exclusive" black belt club.  Yeah, if we coughed up like $3,000.  So then we took the kids over to the YMCA school, and have been very satisfied.  One thing that always bugged me about Park's school.  I brought the kids there because I wanted them to be prepared if they were ever faced with a situation where they were challenged to a fight.  I didn't want them to run like a coward, or get destroyed because they didn't know how....and yet, after ONE YEAR at Park's school, they had not been in one sparring session.  Oh sure, they did a lot of exercising....and they work hard on the various forms and techniques...but they didn't work at all on actual combat.  Why?
Ooooohhh.  That's reserved for members of the "exclusive" black belt school.
So, back to the tournament....I found out it was run by Master Park.  I knew right away this thing had to be slightly screwed up---it was just inevitable.  So the "9a.m."
starting time turned into a 10:15am starting time.  Figures.  So when Andy's turn finally comes....Kim and I were very proud during the forms and techniques round of the tournament that Andy took the GOLD MEDAL in his weight and age grouping!
We were waiting for the next round of competition, which would be the sparring, and as lunch time came closer, we found out that there would be a lunch break.  And we are still freezing.  So then the sparring starts again.  And its moving along, and we're getting and idea of how much longer the competition is going to last--and then---one of the girls breaks her ankle.  And there's a weight for the paramedics and all of that.....and we're still freezing.  Finally Andy comes out with his group of 3 guys.  Their on the mat, waiting to be next, Andy puts on his sparring equipment, and then---they bring a group of kids over from another mat to go before him. And we're still freezing.  Then, about 2:45pm.....FINALLY....Andy is called onto the mat with is opponent....who I named..."Eric the Hugger".  They fight two 2 minute rounds, and there are three judges scoring.  In order for a point to be scored, two of the three judges have to have ruled a clean shot.  Before the match, Kim had told Andy that she had seen the Hugger warming up practicing shots to the head (legal for over 15 kids wearing headgear).  So the match starts and surprisingly, I'm fairly calm about the whole situation--which is unusual for me because those who know me know that I'm an avid heckler--and Andy just looks sort of tenative.  Eric is connecting with some body shots and builds a lead of around 4 to 1.  His mother is walking around the mat and is talking all sort of shit....and I'm starting to get a tad agitated.  The 2nd round starts and I think that Eric is starting to....in the words of man RPM---"get blowed up".  You can see that he's really getting tired....and then he starts with the grabbing and clutching.  Now, that's bad enough, but while he's doing that....he starts punching Andy.  Apparently its allowable to throw body shots, but old Eric the Hugger was throwing some very borderline punches.  Then, off a break he throws a headshot kick that clips Andy right on the chin.  Eric's mom is still talking lots of shit, and the heckler in me let's go:
"Come on Andy....this kid don't wanna fight.  He wants to hug you!"  (angry glance by Eric's mom)
"Come on Andy...this kid wants to give  you a kiss!"  (another angry glance)
After the match while Andy was packing his gear away, the mom made a point of walking past us--brushing against me slightly saying "oh, excuse me"--and walking on.  It was hilarious.
I pulled Andy aside and told him that I was proud of him.  He had competed....he hadn't quit....he had taken a solid shot to the chin and hadn't gone down.  One of his coaches from the school was standing next to us and said that every competition like this is a learning experience.  He was right.  Andy had sparred a kid he had never seen before and will learn from it.  He lost 6-2 on points, but still was a winner.
I told him that he now knew what it was like to be in a real fight, so thatprospect would no longer scare him.  He had fought someone who was borderline dirty--with all the punches--and would learn from it.
Andy learned something yesterday.  Did I?  Probably not.  So who's the one who's slightly immature anyway?

Later,
Jeff