9/8/05---Going back home again...well, not really...

So it was a couple of months ago that I got a call from my friend Chris, who informed me that his wife Leslie had gotten snagged speeding by a motorcycle cop (the absolute worst--don't get me started).  He wanted to know if I could help her out, and I got a friend of mine who's an attorney to take her case and get a satisfactory result for her.  From the beginning, all I asked for was for Leslie to make me some of her homemade cookies--which, I gotta tell ya--are unbelieveable.
So now the case is over, and its time to collect my payment.  Now, what you may not realize is....Chris & Leslie live right down the hall from the former Mrs Me # 2.
Lately there has been an olive branch extended by both of us, and things have been relatively peaceful an harminous, so I thought this might be a good time to go over and see Chris & his wife.  It had only been 7 years, ya know?
And yet, I felt the butterflies floating in the stomach as I drove up the oh-so-familar drive to the condo that I had lived at for almost 7 years.  I looked at what was the same, and what had changed.

"...friends look a me, they say I've changed,
but something's lost and something's gained,
in living every day."

For the record, that's the first time I've quoted a song by Judy Collins.  Yikes!
Anyway, I'm wondering what's going to happen if I run into Kelly.  Based on our emails, we both have indicated that the meeting will be civil....but who really knows?
So I went into the situation prepared to be okay if I saw her, and okay if I didn't.
I knocked on the door and Chris' answered.  The last time I saw him he was about 9 years old.  Now he's 17 and working on a set of sideburns.  Where did that part of my life go too?  Chris hasn't changed....not even a little bit.  Its good to see him.
When my time on earth is done, (and hopefully that will be quite a ways down the road) Chris will definitely stand out as one of the true characters I've met in my life.
A big burly man, with a beard that looks like Santa (or maybe a "Bad Santa"), he is what someone I once knew referred to as a "journeyman" drinker.  Let's just say that if half of what Chris tells me is true, the man's liver must be screaming for help.
Anyway, we talk for about 20 minutes...catch up...talk about old times and, in general, reminisce.  Then its time to go.  We stand out on the front step near the stairwell and finish up our conversation.  Two ladies from our condo come walking up and Chris tells one who I am.  Don't you recognize him, he asks?

"Why...you're Misty's dad, aren't you?"
"Well, yes....I guess I was.""
"Well its been forever....how have you been?"

We make some small talk, and she turns to the lady behind her....who is quite a bit older...bordering on the "cranky old lady". 

"Lee....you remember Misty's dad, don't you?"
"What?  Well...yes...it is you.  Honey, you've put on way too much weight."
"Why thank you.  I appreciate you noticing."

Nothing like coming home again for a little insulting.  It was funny in retrospect I suppose. I remember when I left...that first time.  I remember when I "walked through the fire", as my brother called it.  When I decided that it would hurt worse to stay than it would to leave.  Some of my friends, like Chris & Leslie, knew that the time was coming quickly.  So did another neighbor, Paul.  I'll never forget something that Paul told me about a week before I finally left.

"The day you drive away from here....you're going to feel this huge weight come off your shoulders.  Its going to feel like such a sense of relief."

But, I didn't feel that on the day I left.  I drove away feeling ashamed.  Not for leaving.  I felt ashamed for the WAY I was leaving.  Like a dog with its tail between its legs.  So I said goodbye to Chris and walked to my car.  I found myself looking over to Kelly's condo, wondering if she would come walking out "accidently".
I looked to see if I could see a kitchen curtain parting, to see if someone was quietly watching me leave...for a 2nd time.  But no one was at the window.  And I drove away....and I felt that sense of relief come over me.  That feeling that....I was so glad that I didn't live there anymore.

Later,
Jeff