So now that I had returned from my trip....the wife and I, apparently fairly intelligently, had decided to both take Monday off and use it as a "recovery" day. We went out and and took care of some stuff...just sort hung out together...and I made "husband points".
I think.
So the next morning was my first day back to work since my vacation. I had packed my bookbag full of all sort of stuff to bring to work. Souvenirs, various photos from the trip....magazines, books...you name it. So I have that bag all packed the night before, right? And I get up...take a shower, shave, get dressed....and I'm ready to go to work.
I mean...I'm actually looking forward to it (??!!?). I want to tell everyone about my vacation. So I say goodbye to the wife, to the dogs...and start heading for the front door. Except for....
"Um, honey....where are my keys?"
"I dunno. I haven't seen them."
Now let's keep in mind that all the stuff we did as a "couple" the day before were done in HER car. My car had been sitting in the driveway all during the vacation. No problem. As my wife can tell you, this is the type of situation that I thrive in. My ability to stay cool under pressure is one of my best attributes.
(Cough)
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THEM???"
"Don't yell. I don't know where they are. Where did you have them last?"
(By the way...that's my alltime favorite question to hear when you've misplaced something. Like...if I knew where I had the item last, I'd go there.....ya know?)
"I don't know! Oh man...this is not good!"
"Okay, just take the kids to the busstop in my car and I'll look for your keys."
So I drive the kiddies to the busstop and come back home. I'm thinking that my wife, wonderful woman that she is--far better than I deserve--will have found the keys.
"I haven't found them yet."
DOH!
So we begin the process of ransacking the house in search of my keys. Mind you, the ring that their on doesn't hold just my car keys, but my house key, and my work keys.
This loss would not be good. And meanwhile, my composure is outstanding as usual.
"This is unfriggin believeable. Do you know what I'm going to have to do? I'm going to have to call into work and tell my boss that the reason I can't come in is that I lost my freakin car keys!"
Which is what I did next. My boss was sort of incredulous, but agreed with me when I told her that this was such a dumb excuse that it had to be true. Then, after exploring our various options visa vee the car keys, I made the decision to have my wife drop me off at the local Saturn dealership on the way to her work. One of the things that we had considered was calling a locksmith, and the one we called said he didn't do it anymore because...get this....he didn't like the whole business with crawling underneath the dashboard. What a work ethic. So the wife drops me off, and I go to the parts department...and I'm having all these thoughts go through my mind as to how much it would have cost me to get a locksmith. The guy at the dealership does some investigating....searching some facts, checks my vend number.....and makes me a new key.
"Four dollars." the guy says.
Somehow I gotta believe the locksmith might have been more expensive. And I even got the dealership to give me a ride back home. And it wasn't even quite lunchtime.
But still....I stayed home for the rest of the day.
What a work ethic.
Later,
Jeff
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