Well that's the story morning glory. Yeah, maybe I had taking a couple of days off from the blog--maybe get a recharge of the old batteries. So what happens when I'm ready to come back? My wife...God bless her, after about a week of hacking and coughing in my face at night...finally hands her cold//flu off to me, her beloved. I remember waking up around 5am last Friday morning--the day after Thanksgiving--and feeling a little scratchiness in my throat. My first thought?
Aww man!
Now I will tell you one thing about myself. After 44 years on earth (YIKES!), I know my body (and yes, its a temple--don't kid yourself). I can tell at the earliest possible moment when a cold and or flu is invading my body. Now, here's another thing about myself you need to know. I only get a cold or flu about once a year--maybe twice (my last one was in March right before we went to NY). But when I get sick...and my wife will verify this....I am the world's biggest baby. I admit it.
So we we were supposed to go to my co-worker Ceci's surprise birthday party the following day, and by mid-afternoon Saturday, I had to call her sister and bail out. I was just feeling like crap. And like I told someone the next day, you know I felt like shit if I missed something for my baby Ceci. Hell, I call her my 5th wife! So Sunday I'm feeling a little worse...and then Monday, it absolutely hits me like a truck. Well, I have court that morning, and I don't feel like stiffing someone with my work...so I go in, finish court...and go home early. Meanwhile, at home, Kim is suffering from an ear infection. Quite a pair, the two of us. The next day, I had court again, and went in and then vamoosed for home. Wednesday, I woke up and was considering whether death would be preferrable. I felt that horrible. The whole stuffy head, chest cold, body aches. I was quite the hunk of burning love--literally. Thursday was still a bad day, but I went in because I was scheduled for court (Wednesday I was out--part of the reason that I had called in). Friday I woke up covered in sweat. Despite that sounding like a vision from your worst nightmares, I took it as a good thing. I figured I was finally breaking whatever the hell it was that I had. Same thing happened today, and I've felt slightly better both days, so maybe I'm finally coming out of it--and that's good news for you, because Lord knows you've missed me--admit it.
Meanwhile, Kim's one ear gets better...and the infection goes into her other ear. Then she calls me on the way home Friday and says that she's taking Andy to the doctor because HIS ear has been hurting. And at work....Ceci? Remember the girl who's party we had to miss? She goes in for a wisdom tooth extraction and comes out looking like Brando in Godfather 1--complete with the cotton in the side of her mouth.
It has NOT been a good week to either be related or to know me.
And that wasn't the worst of it. The day after Thanksgiving, Kim & I took my dog Midnight to the vet. He's had a small tumor on his stomach for quite some time now, and we had showed the vet before, but were told that some dogs get them and its relatively routine. That's true, because our other dog Beezer has one on his shoulder and its been there for awhile. We brought Midnight in because Kim felt the tumor was starting to get bigger. Maybe I realized it too and just didn't want to think about it.
We had been told that we shouldn't be concerned if the tumor got bigger. The vet looked at Midnight and told us the only way to know was to do a sort of needle biopsy.
She took him in the back and performed the procedure, which she said would feel no different to him than getting a shot. When she came back, she termed it "highly suspicious". That was not what I wanted to hear. She said she wanted to send it off to a pathologist and have it examined.
So besides everything else this past week....I had to sweat that out.
And Kim called them yesterday....because I didn't want too. But our worst fears were realized when we were told that the tumor was indeed cancerous. We meet with a surgeon on Wednesday evening to discuss the next step.
I'm so scared. I'm so scared for one of the most things in my life. Its a family joke by now. I call Midnight "my son". We have two other dogs, Beezer & Jazz...and I love them both very much. They're both great dogs. But Midnight isn't a dog. He's almost like a part of me. I thought about it the other day and came to this somewhat selfish conclusion. I think in my immediate family (meaning the one that lives in Coral Springs),
there are two indespensible parts of it. If anything happened to either of the kids, I'd be devestated...but I'd want to be strong for Kim. If anything ever happened to Beezer or Jazz...I'd be hurt, and I'm sure it would be hard to get over it....but I think I would.
But....Kim I could never replace. Whether she knows it or not....I would be helpless without her (I'm practically helpless WITH her, but that's another story). And then there's Midnight. My buddy....my boy...my black dog...my Mr. Man...my Mr. Shifty.
The worst day of my life was when my boyhood dog, Lady, died. I found her floating in our pool. She was old, maybe 15 or 16....had bad eyesight from cataracs...but the memory of finding her still bothers me. I remember carrying her out to my front yard, looking for anyone to help me.....my parents weren't home. I remembering crying out for help and that it was.....almost primal. It wasn't a cry. It was a wail. It was a cry for the last link to my childhood and my best friend, laying dead in my arms.
And this week, when I thought about worst case scenarios with Midnight....I kept thinking about that day and that moment. And if the worst case scenario happens...if he is taken from me.....this will be worse.
This won't be an old dog who lead a long life finally leaving. This will be a young dog, being taken from me. And I will perceive it, correctly or not, as being done with a malice of forethought. As if it is some personal grudge being taken out on ME.
This one....I may not recover from. This one would be like Kim being taken from me.
This one....I would take with me for the rest of my life.
Wednesday will be a very big day in my life, and in the life of my buddy Midnight.
Please think a good thought for him if you remember.
Later,
Jeff
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