So the other night, I need to print something out from the computer. I didn't feel like dealing with the possibility of getting the IM's and all that, so I decided to do something that I almost NEVER do anymore--I went online via internet explorer. I can't even think of the last time I did that. So I get online, and go to type the name of the website I was looking for in the spacebar and I accidentally do a typo. I hit the down arrow to see where my mistake was made and.....lo and behold did I find something of interest.
I saw all these visits to a website called "Myspace.com". Now, what's particularly interesting about that is that a few months ago I told my daughter--my lovely 13 year old daughter--that I had read some things about that website that made me inclined to believe that perhaps it wasn't the place for a 13 year old. And so I hit one of the sites that had been visited and pulled up a webpage for an "18 year old" boy. That was followed by another one for an "18 year old" girl....who looked very familar. I then went down and examined some of the other links and got to one that was for someone called "Blondie 819". Now that immediately struck me as interesting because my daughter's birthday is August 19th. And so I pulled up the webpage.........
My first thought was what my method of killing her was going to be. She had gone onto this website without permission, as a matter of fact--after being told DIRECTLY NOT to go on the website...and not only that, she went and posted her own site on there.
I perused her webpage some more and discovered, much to my own surprise, that my daughter was in fact NOT 13 years old, but 16! Well, she must be...it says so right there on her webpage! I read some of the rather clever messages that her friends had sent to her, complete with some rather....hmmm...."selective" language. Now, truth be told, I'm probably the LAST person on earth to ever criticize someone for salty language, but I wish she would at least wait until she gets into high school before she starts swearing like a sailor.
I went onto one more webpage and saw another face I recognized, as it was one of the boys from her tae kwon do class. As I scrolled down his page, I couldn't help but notice that he had gotten a message from my daughter. She wrote to him regarding an incident that had happened recently in class and referred to it.
"I still remember that day in class when you called me a whore."
That's pretty tough words to hear in connection with your 13 year old daughter.
Kim came through the door with the kids and as they went into the bedrooms to change and get ready for dinner I called Kim over to show her what I had found. I mentioned the "myspace.com" site again, and she remarked that the topic had just come up the day before when they were visiting the kids cousin. She had asked Kellie about it and said that Kellie had "been evasive" in her answer. I began to bait my hook.
We sat down for dinner and I asked the kids how their day was. We made some small talk and I asked Andy if he remembered a story that I had told him from almost a year ago--about a girl right here in the town we lived in, who had posted a profile on her computer, lying about her age and who met a man who had responded and ended up getting raped in the parking lot of a Barnes & Noble. He didn't remember it and I'm sure had no idea why in the world I was even bringing it up.
I asked Andy if he remembered what the worst thing you could do in our family.
"Lie," he answered.
That's right I said. Then I looked at Kellie and asked her the same question.
"Lie," she said.
That's also right Kellie....
"Or should I just call you.....'Blondie 819'?"
It was one of those rare moments in parenting. You have your child not only in a lie--but in a BIG LIE. The look on her face, if the situation hadn't been so relatively serious, would have been almost humorous. But it wasn't. She was trapped and there was no exit strategy--not for the President in Iraq, not for Kellie at the dinner table.
Some rare political humor from your favorite writer. Thank you, thank you very much.
I asked her what in the world she had been thinking. Did she know the type of people who visited those webpages, looking for children to prey upon? Did ever once think that maybe there was a reason I didn't want her on there? I began speaking and found myself becoming more and more angry. I didn't want to begin screaming and yelling and losing my temper....so I got up and walked away from the table.
I told Kellie that she had lost her computer priviledges for the next 6 months....and no allowance...and no television (OUCH!). All things considered, I thought I was pretty easy on her.
She went to bed early that night, saying there was "nothing to do". Its amazing the impact that television has had on this generation. I thought my generation was addicted.
We're not even close compared to today's children. Its literally like a drug.
She came out and said good night to me, which sort of surprised me. When Kim came and sat down next to me I asked her if she had coaxed Kellie to say good night or if she had done it on her own. She told me that Kellie said that I wasn't talking to her, so Kim had to "coax her a little bit". Kim then reminded me that the following evening I had to drive Kellie to her band practice.
That was going to be one long, quiet ride, I thought to myself.
Part 2 later.
Later,
Jeff
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