1/18/06--That long, quiet ride

So I had to take Kellie to her band recital for the all-state band competition.  I found myself wondering just how uncomfortable the ride might be.  So, soon after we got into the car, I set the pace.

"So, how'd school go today."
"Okay."
"Tell your friends about the little incident last night?"
"Yes."
"And what did they have to say about it?"
"They just said....'oh'."
"Aha....yeah, that's about what I expected from them."

I had a long talk with her.  I told her that what really troubled me about the whole scenario was that I knew that someone had talked her into doing the whole thing.  She is someone who lives in fear of not being accepted by her peers.  She's afraid of being labeled as "not cool" or a "geek".  So I'm sure that someone at school told her that if she wanted to be cool, she should create a little webpage for herself.  And she did.
And then I told her that I worried what would happen if in a couple of years she went on a date and a boy put her in a similar situation--telling her that if she didn't do something that maybe she wasn't comfortable doing that he would tell everyone in school that she wasn't "cool" and so then she wold cave in to the pressure and end up making a big mistake at far too early an age.  I'm sure she had to be cringing as her Dad had this conversation with her.  And then I told her how unhappy I was that someone she knew--a boy she regarded as a "friend"--had called her a whore.  That it was a vile, nasty word that I never wanted to hear in regard to my daughter, my wife, my mother, my sister or any of my nieces--and that she should advise the young man who had said that to her that under no circumstances should he EVER call her that again.  She seemed okay with the conversation and listened to what I had to say.  A couple of days later I relayed the conversation to my sister and my parents.
My sister and mother told me that I had done the right thing and that they were proud of the way that I had handled it.
My father just looked at me and nodded his approval of the way I handled it.

In that special mysterious ways that only fathers and sons can understand....that meant more to me than any words he could have said.  It was that nod that seem to say---"your learning".  It was a nod that seem to say that now he realizes that maybe, just maybe.....I was listening to all those talks he had with me....that maybe a little of it sunk in.
Well....maybe a little.

Later,
Jeff