3/13/06---Movies, movies....and more movies

Well, its been awhile since I've offered my beloved readers (both of you---no, thank you....really, please....sit down everybody....) a look at the movies I've been watching.
I'll go....worst to best......
1) The Cave--so I decided to take a chance on a goofy horror movie.  Here's a little tidbit I told my daughter last night.  Nothing is as scary as the imagination.  So, its a lot scary to have a character in a movie who in the water say:
"Hey, what was that?"
You don't see what it is that he's talking about.  On the other hand....if someone says that and then the camera SHOWS you what it is that prompted that question from the character in the movie--the imagination doesn't get to do anything.  That equals=no fun.
Which is what made the last 30 minutes of this film disappointing.  For the first hour or so, this was a decent little horror film.  A group of "cave-divers" go deep into an uncharted series of caves in Romania (huh?) in search of....well.....I'm not exactly sure what they were in search of.  But the scenes of the divers going underwater in the caves are beautifully filmed and give the film a nice eerie quality about it.  And then, with about 30 minutes left in the film....they broke rule #1 of the horror movie code----
They showed us the monster.
Now, that's fine if we're talking the creature from Alien or something....but in this case, and I'm not lying here...it looks like a giant freakin bat.  Absolutely ridiculous.  And at that point the movie loses all suspense.   **
2) Ong Bak--The Thai Warrior.  I checked out this movie based on a recommendation I had heard about how all the stunts in this movie were done by its star, Tony Jaa.  He's sort of a Thai version of Jackie Chan--except without the personality.  There are some great stunts in this film to be sure, but Jaa's character is so boring, I just couldn't get into him.  Which is too bad, because there are some absolutely terrific fight scenes in this film.  The movie I would compare this too is the old Jean Claude Van-Damme movie "Bloodsport".  Jaa's character, like JCVD's, is competes in a fight club against fighters using different styles and techniques.  There's one, against a guy named "Mad Dog", that is an absolutely terrific brawl, using everything in the club that literally is not nailed down.
Great fight scenes, some terrific stunts, all surrounding some boring scenes in between.
**1/2
3) Alien vs. Predator---okay, don't laugh.  I was really surprised by this one.  I turned to it on my HBO HD mainly just to watch the difference in the HD as compared to the other channels---and found myself getting hooked.  Don't get me wrong.  This isn't anywhere near Alien 1 or 2 ("Aliens").  But its no where near as bad as I thought it would be--how's that for a backhanded compliment?  Again, as with "The Cave", its a great LOOKING film.  The sets are very impressive looking, and they do great work on the alien creatures--here's one of the problems.  The Predator.  Part of what made the first Predator movie (the one with Arnie) so great is that you never actually saw the thing until the movie was almost over--and then, the payoff was really great, because it was such an ugly bastard and the costume was great....it was terrific.  Here, they show the Predator WAY, WAY too early, and the costume looks like some knockoff of the original costume (which I'm sure is exactly what it was).  Its just not the same.  Here, a group of scientists under the direction of gazillionair Lance Henrikson travels to the Antartica to investigate strange heat signals being sent from beneath the ice.  There are some "inside" references to the earlier films (Henrikson's character's middle name is "Bishop", which was the name given to the robot in the first film).  This is a better creature film than "The Cave", and is way better than I thought it would be.  Which is not to say that its the equal of the original of either series.....just not bad.   ***
4) The Aristocrats---here's the premise to this rather interesting documentary.  There's this joke, which is well known amongst comedians, that is one of the oldest dirty jokes ever told.  Its rather basic:
Guy walks into an agents office.  Tells the agent he's got this terrific new act.  The agent asks him to tell him what the act consists of.  The guy describes, in absolutely horrible, vivid and disgustingly graphic detail, the awful thing this act does.  The agent is repulsed, but out of morbid curiousity, asks the guy what an act like that could possibly be called.
'The Aristocrats'.
The key to the joke is that the person telling the joke, is almost given carte blanche to make the joke as dirty or as clean as he wants.  So what happens here is, the filmmaker goes to various famous comedians and asks for their interpretation of the joke.
The funniest thing is that the dirtiest retellings are done by the comedians that are most associated with being "clean".  Bob Saget of television's "Full House" comes to mind.
At times terrifically funny...almost hysterical.  But, I wouldn't show it to my parents.
***1/2
5) Walk the Line--a really good movie featuring two wonderful lead performances by Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon as Johnny Cash & June Carter, respectively.
I'm no huge fan of country music, but the story of this two star crossed lovers trying desperately to alternately contain and express their mutual love for one another---all the while being married mind you--during the relatively conservative years of the late 50's and early 60's.....is great stuff.  Highly recommended.  ****1/2
6) Crash--I watched this film the morning before it won this year's Academy Award for best film.  It was well deserved.  Crash shows two evenings in Los Angeles, and intersects the lives of about 10 people in an attempt to show the way that racism, both subtle and overt, effects the daily lives of everyone.  Everyone--black, white, middle eastern, hispanic....find themselves as the victim of a form of racism, and it shows the frustrations the racism foster.  Terrific performances from an ensemble cast, including a never better Sandra Bullock, Matt Dillon, Terence Howard and (I can't believe I'm about to type this) rap star Ludicrius.  An amazing piece of work, and a must see.
*****

Later,
Jeff