4/28/06---Kids!! Why can't they be more like me--perfect in every way!!!

I'm sure you trivia buffs will recognize the line from the song in the movie "Bye, Bye Birdie" there.  My kids....they do drive me crazy.

Submitted for your approval---
1) Andrew Poe-Bowdren.  So we get a letter from his school today indicating that in one of his classes that Andy is getting a "F+".  I'm not exactly sure what an "F+" is, other than....as someone told me awhile back, it must mean 'a really good F'.  Now mind you.....this isn't the first time that Andy has brought home one of these letters....or that one of these letters has been mailed to us.  We almost have begun to expect them.
And then Andy will rush at breakneck speed to the end of the school year or semester and bring his grade up.  Have you ever seen that painting called "Silent Scream"?  That's the way I feel when I get these reports on Andy.  So anyway.....so we sit him down and talk with him about it.  According to Andy (at least at the beginning), the grade was a huge mystery to him.

"So, uh....you have no idea why you got this grade?"
"Nope....I don't understand it."
"So you haven't had any sort of bad grades on a test, homework or project?"
"No....I really don't understand it."
"So you've got nothing but passing grades on your tests, homework and projects?"
"Yes."
"So now....if your mom was to call or email your teacher....she wouldn't get a different story from your teacher, would she?  Because I gotta tell you....if the teacher had a different story than that, I'm sure your mom would feel a little stupid....and boy do I hate when your mom looks stupid."
"I passed all my assignments that I've gotten back."
"Okay....so there are no missing homework or tests?"

(That would be the dreaded pause in the conversation)

"Well....there might have been a couple of homework assignments that I didn't turn in."
"AHA!  Now we're getting somewhere.  A couple?  How many is a couple?"
"Uh....like....a few."
"A few?  That's more than a couple, isn't it?  Would you say that the number of assignments that you haven't turned in is....hmm....more than five?"
"Uh....about seven."

(Cue the Homer Simpson sound wave:  DOH!)

"Seven?  Well let me ask you this....how many homework assignments have you turned in that you got credit for?"
"Hmm.....about.....12."
"So you turned in 12 out of 19 assignments.....I think we're starting to get some where."

And then there was the proverbial teeth knashing, and knuckle rubbing, and harsh words (although I did manage to keep my voice down and not lose my temper---amazingly).  It reminded me of the line from the movie "Parenthood".  Jason Robards is the family patriarch and is talking to his oldest son, Steve Martin, about the problems that are being created by the youngest son, Tom Hulce.

"You never ever cross the finish line.  You never stop being a parent.  There's never a point where they're not your child.  You never finish that race."

Submitted for your approval:
Kellie Poe-Bowdren
2) So Kellie got a referral the other day.  Why?  Because they were having a fire drill at school the other day...and Kellie decided to invoke the old knee injury into getting out of it.  Tried to use the elevator and take a short cut.  Man, she's really a little weasel--and turning out a lot like me.  So we sort of gave her a little lecture....but nothing really big.  I told her to listen to her teacher....and if her knee hurts that much, maybe she shouldn't come home and play basketball after school.

The other night we were having dinner when Kim dropped one on me.  She looked at Kellie and asked her if "she could tell me what they had talked about".  Kellie said yes.

"Kellie, um...has a boy who has told her that he's interested in her."

(Uh-oh.  Careful there mister.....careful.)

"Oh really.  Is this someone we know?"
"Well apparently its a friend of a boy that Kellie knows."
"Does he go to your school?"
"No."  Kellie said.  "He's in 9th grade."

(DOH!  High school boys!  Blood pressure soars)

"9th grade?  He's a high schooler?"
"Yes."  (Head down....no eye contact)
"Hmm.  And what's his name?"
"Tim."
"And you met him how?"
"Well, he came to our last concert and my friend introduced us."
"I've told Kellie," Kim interjects, "that of course Tim would have to meet us before they could ever go out anywhere."
"He's supposed to call me tomorrow," Kellie says.
"Hmmm.....really?"

And so another chapter begins in my life as a Dad.  Kellie:  The Dating Years.

Pray for me.

Later,
Jeff