So the wife and I returned last evening from our visit to the "land of Dubya", otherwise known as Houston, Texas. It was an interesting weekend to say the least, and I mean from the very beginning to the very end.
So we're sitting on the tarmac, waiting to get underway for our flight to Houston--this would be Thursday afternoon--and we got one of those people. You know the ones I mean. The ones who decide, come hell or high water, that their luggage can fit into the overhead compartment. Now mind you, there luggage is approximately the size of Rhode Island, but that's not going to stop them from attempting to complete their mission. So in this particular case, its two women. One of them sort of has that ditzy look, too much lipstick, boobs flopping around. The other one sort of looks like Michelle Rodriguez from "Lost"--if ya get my drift and I think ya do. Anyway, the tough chick is trying to stuff her luggage into the overhead, and finally these two guys come to help her...and their tugging, pushing, pulling....just about anything to get this one last suitcase to go in. Finally it goes in. Spontaneous applause erupts from the back of the plane (no lie--it really happened). Ms. Tough Chick says...and I quote:
"Thank you everybody. My friend is a little upset. She's worried I might have broken one of her dildo's."
There was about 3 seconds of dead silence. And then, finally....someone (that would be me)....spoke up.
"Uh maam, if your friend's dildo broke, you...uh....may have yourself a poor quality sexual apparatus there."
"Well I guess we'll just find out tonight now, won't we?"
"Well uh....yes sir, I guess you will."
I love going on vacation.
So we get to Houston, and the drive from the airport to our hotel is approximately 4 hours---well, at least it seemed that way. Our hotel was located in beautiful downtown Sugarland, Texas. The only bad thing so far was that Hertz didn't have one of those new Mustangs for me to drive. UGH. Our hotel though, was really nice.
Sugar Land Marriott Town Square: Hotel specials, rates and availability in Houston
Actually, compared to the hotel we stayed at in Tampa---the place was a palace. Or maybe it was just that the Tampa Marriott is a dump. Anyway, Sugarland is areally nice emerging town. I say "emerging", because it sure isn't a small town anymore.
Trivia for 100 points. What was Sugarland, Texas, famous for in the 1950's??
One thing you can say about the Houston area that makes it different from south Florida is that you can just see the corporate money that's there. All that money is coming in as new construction, new homes, new shopping centers. And here's the amazing thing.
The shopping centers? All have different stores. You know how when you go into a mall in south Florida that essentially you'll find the same exact stores in different locations. Houston isn't like that....every shopping center and mall have different stores.
It was unbelievable. I kept waiting for them to run out of stores. Across from the hotel is the Sugarland City Hall, which is a really amazing looking building that looks like it was constructed out of sandstone or something. Around the block from our hotel there are at least 10 restaurants--everything from a Starbucks to a an English style pub to a 5 star steakhouse. Every restaurant you could conceivably think of is within a mile of the hotel. Not only chain restaurants (Fridays, Outback, etc) but also local restaurants offering Mexican, Italian, steak, burgers---whatever. Its really amazing.
Thursday evening we went over to Cheesecake Factory, which my wife seems to be able to find in a manner that anteaters can locate ants. Just this one restaurant mind you.
Friday morning we got up and decided to head downtown into Houston to check things out. We ended up stumbling into a mall that was located right in the middle of an office building. The mall itself was really no great shakes, but we were tipped off that we had missed "the tunnels". The tunnels? So we see this escalator going down, down, down.
I mean...into what seemed to be the bowels of earth itself. And its there that we discover that all the office buildings in downtown Houston are connected. Like 100 feet below the streets there is just this maze of restaurants, shoppes, barbers, beauty shops...I mean, you name it and its down there. Its absolutely unbelievable. We were there just about at lunchtime, and the place fills up like you wouldn't believe. I had mentioned to my wife earlier that the streets of downtown Houston were surprisingly free of traffic. I found out why. Their all underneath the streets eating. The people can arrive at work around 8am and leave at 5pm and never see the sunlight. Underground Houston---"the tunnels"---was definitely one of the highlights of our trip.
So I wanted to show the wife the world famous Galleria Mall in Houston, which is nationally known as the mall that has a skating rink in the middle of it. The wife is checking the maps out, trying desperately for a clue that will show up where its located.
She's really getting frustrated and then finally, while looking at the map of Houston, says:
"Gee, you think that the Galleria might be located where it says..."GALLERIA" here on the map?"
What a navigator. That night, we went in search of geniune Texas BBQ. Our search took us to "Goode Company BBQ" Goode Company - Home Page, which surprisingly is not owned by my man Greg "Cable Guy" Goode....who of course would be known as "Greg 'BBQ Guy' Goode" if he were.....but I digress. Anyway, we swung in and dug into some authentic Texas style BBQ. Kim called the beef brisket top notch. I went with the spiced pork (very good) and the ham, which was disappointing. The baked beans had too many peppers in them. However, nearly saving the entire meal was an absolutely delicious slice of homemade pecan pie. OMAN!
Saturday morning Kim had to go to her conference at a nearby Healthsouth, and I walked over to a nearby Barnes & Noble late in the morning. We met for lunch and had the worst Chick Filet I've ever had in my life. YUCK! I drove Kim back to her conference and kept the car which allowed me to do some exploring of the greater Sugarland area. Its a nice little town that is getting bigger every day. The housing market is doing well, as houses are going up all over the place.
Observation of the day: As you can imagine, there are a lot of Mexicans in Houston.
Well, as I made my way around the Houston area, I decided: Cuban women are better looking than Mexican women.....and its not even close. You walk around a mall in Houston, you see a few really smoking hot looking women. Here in south Florida, you go in to a mall, and you'll see tons of gorgeous Cuban women. That's right....I said it.
However, what you may not realize is just how many Oriental women are in Houston.
Mainly Chinese and Vietnamese....the best looking woman I saw was Oriental.
Okay, we're back! So Saturday night we decided that we wanted to go out for a nice Texas style steak dinner. We had gotten a few recommendations, but decided to go with our first choice and went to the Texas Land & Cattle restaurant. We were both very happy with our dinner and left happily stuffed. Geez, its seems like all we're doing on this trip is eating.
Sunday morning Kim had to go to the very end of her conference so I went over to the shopping center for some last minute purchases and went back to the hotel and watched a movie ("Heat" w/Pacino & DeNiro---*****--Highest recommendation). Kim finally got back and after checking out, we made our way out for lunch. One more chance to check out some Texas style BBQ. This time we went to Pappa's BBQPappas BBQ Menu! At last! Now here--HERE--was some fine BBQ! Kim got the Po Boy BBQ beef sandwich, and I got the pork sandwich. Both were top notch...as were their home cut french fries. The Texas style beans were a bit too much like chili to my liking, but my lunch also came with a....get a load of this.....BOTTLE of grape soda. Two things.
I can't remember the last time I had a bottle of soda--and especially grape soda. They get bonus points just for offering that. We still had a couple of hours before we needed to be at the airport, and decided to hit a mall that was close to the airport and see if we could get any last minute gifts we might have forgotten.
Our first tip off was that the Houston police department had a branch office at the mall.
We walked around and noticed an unusually large amount of closed stores. I realized what was going on. It was just like Chris Rock said:
"You know how in every town....you have the 'nice mall', the one that just recently opened, and its all shiny and new.....and then.....well, then....you have....the 'other' mall."
We were in "the other mall". I was waiting for a rumble to break out at any moment.
We finally got out of there and started heading for the airport....I say we "started" because once again, Kim the navigator managed to get us turned around. Or, as other people call it......LOST. However, we regained our bearings and finally got where we needed to go (only a minor argument, I promise).
We had a nice flight back....I started watching a pretty good movie on our portable DVD player (The Constant Gardner) and we arrived in Ft Lauderdale around 10:20pm.
A nice end to our weekend.
Only....it wasn't. We get down to baggage claim and 2 of our 3 bags come out right in the front...and then we wait for the last one. And we wait. And we wait. I'm beginning to lose my mind...mainly because its MY BAG. (Hey, I'm selfish---sue me) The guy informs Kim that the bag is coming on the next flight from Houston (who knows why?)
and will arrive in Ft Lauderdale around 1:30am and that he will drive it to my house and deliver it if I want---at around 2am.
Suffice to say folks, it was a late night for your favorite writer....I went to bed damned tired...happy to be in my own bed....with my own suitcase in my house.....and really, really happy that I had decided to take Monday off at work.
Later,
Jeff
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