So check this out and see if you can match it. Friday morning "the wife" and Kellie caught a flight to Ohio for a baby shower. I'm trying to figure out what her response would've been if I had caught a flight somewhere for a bachelor party....but I digress.
Now she's flying up there to see some of the kids relatives on the kid's fathers side.
I would never begrudge the kids from staying in contact with anyone from their father's side of the family---but, uh---it'd be nice if they would do the same, ya know? I've been with Kim and the kids since mid '99, and let's just say that considering their father came from a VERY large family (like 12 kids), its pretty amazing that no one remembers to send them a birthday card.....a Christmas card.....anything. No birthday phone calls...nothing. The only reason there is any contact whatsoever is because of Kim. God bless her for that, but I'd like to see someone--ANYONE--from that family attempt to stay in contact with the kids.
There...that's enough venting on THAT subject.
So Kim is flying up to Ohio, with a layover in Tampa. The night before she leaves, she checks out the weather. Well, if you've been following this weekends weather up in the midwest...I don't need to tell you what the forecast looked like. Can you say "50 mph wind"? So I was a little worried as she left (I tried not to show TOO much emotion--I wouldn't want her to think I like her or anything like that), and a couple hours later I got a phone call from her from her stop in Tampa. She was originally scheduled for a layover of like 1 1/2 hours.
"Well," she says, "I got off the plane and I looked up at the board to see what was going on with my flight to Columbus."
"Yeah."
"We were originally supposed to leave around 11am."
"And? Has it changed?"
"Well, the board now says we're going to leave at 5pm."
Ouch. An 8 hour layover. Talk about cruel and unusual punishment. I have to be honest with you. I would've caught a plane back to Ft Lauderdale.
So she tells me that she's going to keep me updated. Surprisingly, she called me an hour later to tell me that the flight was going to leave as scheduled afterall. I'm sitting there trying to figure out how in God's name they were going to land a plane with 50 mph winds, but I digress. Around 3pm....I get a phone call.
"Well, we're on the ground," she says.
"They landed the plane in those wind conditions??"
"Well, uh....no. They tried twice but apparently the WINDSHEAR (a word that polite people do not mention when flying) was too severe."
"So what happened?"
"So, uh....we're in Louisville, KY."
"Okay...how far is that from Columbus?"
"About 4 hours.....hey, I was wondering....what do you think if I rent a car and drive the rest of the way?"
"If that's what you want to do....how are the roads up there?"
"Oh, their fine...its just cold. But, I have to tell you....after that last flight, I'm not in any big hurry to get back on an airplane."
"I understand.....go ahead and see what you can do....and call me back. I'll call your Dad and let him know what's going on."
I let her Dad know and the phone rings about an hour later.
"Well, we're on the way to Ohio in a car."
"Alright....should I call your Dad an update him?"
"No...he already called me."
Why did I even BOTHER to ask that question. UGH.
So Kim and Kellie are on their way to Ohio, and its me & Andy for the weekend.
Now, the next day (Saturday), Andy is set to take the SAT's. Kim had left me a fairly detailed list of instructions as to what exactly he needed to bring with him for the testing:
calculator, pencils, photo i.d., etc etc. So I told Andy before he went to bed that I wanted him to make sure and have everything that he needed out on the table so that we wouldn't have to go searching for anything on Saturday morning.
Famous last words. But stay with me here while the story sidetracks slightly.
Now the test started at 7:45am on Saturday morning, so Kim told me that I needed to be up no later than 6:45am, to ensure that Andy had something eat and was there with plenty of time to spare. My wife--the original anal retentive person when it comes to ANYTHING....and I mean ANYTHING "time related". Hey, its all part of what makes her so special. (Just don't tell her I said that)
So around 3am, Midnight the Wonder Dog starts a barking. At what, I didn't know.
So I very politely (I swear!) told him to be a little bit quieter. Then, around 5am, he comes to me on the side of the bed (as only he can do), and lets me know that, uh--ya know--he needed to use the facilites. Alright, alright. A quick hey-how-do-ya-do, and I'm back in bed for another hour, right? Uh....again, famous last words.
The boy (I call him that cuz, ya know, he's my boy) goes into the corner of the yard and spends around 10 minutes there....uh...."gently straining"....if ya know what I mean and I think ya do. So I'm a little concerned...but nothing major. I end up staying up the rest of the morning (and do I need to tell you that there is not much on at 5:30 on a Saturday morning? What's that Springsteen line: '500 channels and nothing on?') So around 6:45ish I go in and wake up young Andrew, and get him started on his big day.
So its about 5 minutes before we're scheduled to go, and I'm washing dishes (Aren't I domesticated? Its so humiliating) when Andy comes in and lets me know that he's ready. I mention to Andy that in his pile of things to take to the testing I noticed that he hadn't put his calculator in there, and to go and get it so he doesn't forget it. And he says...in words that absolutely make me mental:
"Uh, Jeff....I looked for my calculator last night and I couldn't find it."
"You what?"
"I couldn't find my calculator."
"Um, Andy...do you remember our conversation last night where I told you that you needed to have everything in one place so that you wouldn't forget anything? Do you remember when I told you this?"
"Uh...yes."
"And when were you planning on telling me that you couldn't find your calculator?"
Mental. Absolutely mental. That's what I get when he does things like this---but I also know that part of it (or most of it) is do to the Aspergers.
"Do you have to have a calculator for the test?"
"Um, they recommend it, but its not required."
So I make a quick phone call to the wife and inquire (again, ever so gently) whether or not our daughter might have a calculator handy. She does and Andy goes and gets it.
We drive over to the test site where Andy joins the other hundreds of high school kids preparing to test.
When I get back home I call the vet's and ask if they can recommend anything to, um..."loosen the boy up" if ya get my drift. They recommend---no lie here---pumpkin.
Not pie filling---full on pumpkin in a can. So I figure after I pick up Andy I'll swing by the store and get some pumpkin.
So the rest of the morning crawls by as Andy is taking his test...and I'm noticing that the boy is looking just a tad on the "loggey" side. Just a bit under the weather-esque.
So around 11:30am I still haven't heard from Andy...sort of wondering what's going on, since the last time he tested he was done by 9:30am. Noon comes and goes, and I call his Mom and ask her why Andy wouldn't have called me. She tells me that he should have been done by now and that I should go up to the school. Which I do. I had this mental picture that I would get there and Andy would be standing there by himself and then he would say that he "forgot to call me". Instead, the parking lot was still full with cars of kids taking the test. I figured that it had to be almost over, so I got out and stood by the school entrance and waited for him.
And I noticed something. All these high school kids....they all dress the way that kids did when I was in high school. Bell bottom jeans for the girls---Led Zepplin t-shirts for the boys (and how cool is THAT?). It was really amazing. So Andy finally comes out and we head home. I pick up the pumpkin and make a nice little presentation for Midnight and his food....and he promptly turns his nose up at it. Now just that is a cause of concern, because Midnight is anything but a picky eater. Especially after I give a touch to his brother and sister and they gobble it up like there's no tomorrow.
So towards the late afternoon I'm noticing that Midnight is still looking a little bit not-so-right...so I give the hospital a call and ask what they think...they suggest I bring him in as a pre-caution and let the doctor take a look. I get there about 5pm and get to see the doctor...at about 6:15. UGH. Anyway, she gives me some stuff to settle his stomach and we're on our way---with the proviso from her that if there are any problems later with Midnight that I can bring him back (remember that for the purposes of our story).
All is fine and I get ready to hit the sack around 11:30ish, with a few minutes of t.v. before.....when Midnight comes over to my side of the bed and "informs me" that he needs to go outside. He goes outside and I hear him throwing up. He comes back in and as I turn out the lights....about 15 minutes later I have him breathing in my face, letting me know that he needs to go out. Things are not going well at this point. He goes outside and it sounds like....um....let's just say that things have apparently taken a 180 degree turn with my boy. I think I let him out approximately 3 more times before 3am. Now, remember here....I had been woken up around 5am the morning before, so by this point I had been up almost 22 hours and I think I was starting to hallucinate--that's how tired I was. I called up the hospital and spoke to the doctor, who suggested I bring him in--which isn't a huge deal because we live about 40 seconds from the animal hospital...literally. So I walk him over and leave him there for the night---for his health and my sanity at this point, because if I didn't get to sleep I may have lost my mind. It had gotten to the point where I was so tired that I couldn't fall asleep---and trust me, that has NEVER been a problem for me. The nurse shows me the prospective bill---which gives me a "lowball" and a "highball" amount for what the bill should end up at.
Let's just say....Midnight got his Christmas gift a wee bit early this year.
I think I'll go take a nap.
Later,
Jeff
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