So everyone I know is absolutely convinced that Hurricane Ivan is heading right for us, sure to bring us more doom & gloom. This despite the fact that Ivan is currently slightly to the north of Antartica and is making a beeline for the Yucatan Pennisula.
Frances has turned everyone in this state into a hurricanephobe (I'd like to receive credit for making that word up).
So last night we had something fun happen. I was out to dinner with the wife & the daughter, and we went to Landlubbers for some so-so chicken wings. Well, there's about a 5 minute wait for a table, and right next store is the Puppy Store or some such nonsense and I ask Kellie if she wants to go look at the dogs (I mean, c'mon people---who goes to a petstore to look at CATS?)....anyway, there right in the window is a beautiful Australian Shepherd female, and I was telling Kellie that it was just like the dog I used to have before I had met her mom (back in the day when I was still with the former Mrs. Me # 2). After dinner, Kellie & I are egging the wife on about how much we want ANOTHER dog--that would make three by the way-- and Kim is tell me that puppies only chew things.
"Ya mean like Beezer does now anyway?"
Then she mentions that puppies have "accidents" on the carpet.
"I'll clean it up," Kellie volunteers.
"You don't even keep your own room clean," Kim points out, "now you're going to go around cleaning up dog poop?"
Kellie offers instead to cough up some of her cold, hard cash.
So now we're in the car, going to pick up Andy. I tell Kellie that what we REALLY need to do is to come up with a good name for the dog--since everyone should understand just how important a good name is. So I throw out a couple of good choices, which are rejected....and Kellie throws out some really lousy suggestions
("Fluffy" or some crap like that)....and I tell her that what we really need is a great name for an AUSTRALIAN SHEPHERD.
Hint time---who knows what women are called in Australia? Anyone??
And then Kellie leans forward and says..."hey, how about the name SHEILA?"
(The call women down under "sheilas" half-wit)
So now there's this moment of slightly uncomfortable silence and finally I glanced over at Kim next to me.
"It ain't gonna happen."
Damn, thwarted again. Do you not realize how perfect that name would be for me?
SPORTS ALERT!! lST ANNUAL NFL PREDICTIONS!!
Yes sports fans (both of you), its time for you to take advantage of the opportunity to make tons and tons of $$$$ by listening to my advice on just how the NFL should shake out this season. Ignore me at your own peril.......
AFC EAST:
1) New England 12-4
2) Buffalo 8-8
3) NY Jets 7-9
4) Miami 5-11 (oh, what...your surprised? Puh-leeze...what a collection of stiffs!)
AFC NORTH:
1) Baltimore 10-6
2) Pittsburgh 8-8
3) Cincinnati 7-9 (might be better than last year--but their schedule is tougher)
4) Cleveland 6-10
AFC SOUTH:
1) Indianapolis 12-4
2) Tennessee 11-5
3) Jacksonville 7-9
4) Houston 6-10 (starting to build a team for the future though)
AFC WEST:
1) Denver 10-6
2) Kansas City 10-6
3) Oakland 4-12
4) San Diego 3-13
NFC EAST:
1) Philadelphia 13-3
2) Dallas 8-8
3) Washington 7-9
4) NY Giants 5-11
NFC NORTH:
1) Minnesota 11-5
2) Green Bay 9-7
3) Detroit 7-9
4) Chicago 5-11
NFC SOUTH:
1) Carolina 10-6 (tougher schedule means worse record--still a strong team though)
2) Atlanta 9-7
3) New Orleans 9-7
4) Tampa Bay 6-10 (lost a ton of talent on defense)
NFC WEST:
1) Seattle 11-5
2) St Louis 8-8
3) Arizona 6-10 (Denny Green--good coach, total egomaniac)
4) San Francisco 4-12
In the playoffs, in the AFC I see New England, Baltimore, Pittsburgh, Indianapolis, Tennessee, Denver & Kansas City.
In the NFC, in the playoffs, I like Philadelphia, Minnesota, Green Bay, Carolina, Atlanta, New Orleans & Seattle.
In the AFC title game---Indianapolis over Tennesee
In the NFC title game---Philadelphia over Minnesota
Super Bowl? Indianapolis over Philadelphia
Call Cesar's Palace...call the Bellagio....call...ah, screw it...call Morty the bookie.
Later,
Jeff
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