9/27/04 Michele with one "L"

She was the last woman I dated before I met Kim, my wife.  We never actually entered into a "relationship", for reasons that are too many to go into.  Suffice to say, it seemed everytime it came time to move from the "dating phase", into the "relationship phase"....some weird freak occurence of nature happened.  It was borderline bizaare.  Anyway, we had remained friends after we stopped dating, and she eventually had met someone, had a child with him and was going on with her life as I went along with mine.  And then, one day a couple of years back, she IMed me online out of nowhere and we began chatting.  Now, for timeline sake, let's say this was about 2 1/2 years ago.  I had been with Kim for about 3 years, and had been living with her for about a year.  I had entered into the gray area of trying to decide whether I really wanted to enter into the whole mess (at least in my life) that is and was marital bliss.....and just remaining....ya know....shacked up.  Kim was starting to give me those "gentle reminders" that she wasn't going to wait around for me to pop the question FOREVER ya know.  So there I was, just surfing the net, and Michele with one L sends me the instant message just saying hello, how ya doing...etc etc.
So we're chatting, because frankly it had been awhile since I had seen her, and all of a sudden she mentions that she is going to Publix (where shopping is a pleasure), which would be the Publix right down the street FROM ME.  Here's where the story gets just a bit interesting......ahem.
"So, come on....why don't you come up to Publix and see me?" she asked.
"Uh...no offense, but WHY would I want to do that?" I responded.
"Well I haven't seen you in like forever...it would be nice to see you."
"Something tells me this sounds like a really bad idea."
"Oh whatta ya worried about?  I'm not going to attack you or anything!"
"Yeah, well....I'm not sure that my girlfriend would be real crazy about the idea of me going to Publix to see my former girlfriend."
"Well then when you come up here buy a quart of milk or something.  Get her some flowers."
"Why?  Because I would feel GUILTY???"

And so I didn't make the Publix run.  Oh, I felt a little bad in that I sorta had been borderline rude to someone I had developed a nice friendship with....but on the other hand.....the whole scenario had DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!  all over it.
AndI didn't hear from her for a few months after that.  And not to long after that, I finally asked Kim to marry me.  And even though she didn't realize it...Michele with one L played a part in my decision.  I decided that I must have really been committed to my relationship with Kim, because if I hadn't been.....and perhaps in another time in my life....I would've gone to Publix for a quart of milk.

So for the last couple of years....I suppose a splinter in my mind's eye had always wondered what would've happened that day if I had gone to the store.  And so, a few years after the fact, I get an IM the other day.  I didn't recognize the name at first....until she identified herself.  It was her.  And she asked if I knew where she was.  I did not, and she told me that she had moved back to New Jersey.  Maybe some part of me breathed a slight sense of relief.  And so, we began chatting, very friendly like...and eventually I sarcastically brought up her "invitation" to go shopping.
She actually asked me why I hadn't gone up there that day.  I told her that she knew EXACTLY why I hadn't gone up there.  Being ever so coy, she insisted that I tell her.  So I did, telling her exactly what would have happened had I gone up there.
(Oh for God's sake, use your imagination)  After a couple of moments of silence, she told me that, at least, that's what she had intended to happen.
I'm telling you, its not easy being me.

But I have nothing but fond memories of Michele with one L.  She was (and is) a terrific woman, and gave me....at least one....of the best memories of my life.
"One for the road".

Sorry dad, THAT story you don't get to hear about.

Later,
jeff