3/21/05--Sometimes...there is no reason.

Her name was Madeline.  Her friends called her Maddie.  She had just moved here from New Jersey a little less than a year ago.  She liked basketball.  She especially liked to play basketball, and tried to encourage her friends to play also.  She liked music.  She was an honors student and said to be very nice.
She was 12 years old.  12 years old.  She hadn't had a chance to even live half a lifetime.  She didn't have a boyfriend.  She hadn't fallen in love.  She hadn't had a chance to have someone break her heart, recover, and then fall in love again.
She left before her friends could say goodbye.  She left before they could tell her that they cared about her, before they could tell her that they liked her smile.

And now Maddie is gone.  She's gone because someone named Jeffrey Melvin, who was apparently quite a charming fellow, decided--after beating and raping his girlfriend--to go for a ride on I-75 west of Ft Lauderdale afterwards....and then just say to hell with it all and end his life.  Except, Mr. Melvin decided in that instant that rather than just go out on his own, that he'd take someone else with him.  It was his ultimate act of selfishness in a selfish life.  His own life apparently ruined by his own acts (and let's not forgot the woman who he brutalized here), he decided to jump a median and collide with another car.  His own life ended there, but so did the life of Madeline Lisy, age 12, her sister Monica, age 18 & their mother Christine.  And now their father and younger brother, age 5, are with out their mother, daughters & sisters.
I cannot even fathom what the father is going through.  He's lost the woman who he had planned on sharing his life with, but his two daughters.  He won't have the opportunity to walk his daughters down the aisle....to watch them have children.
He has lost those future family reunions.  A young boy has lost his mother.  He won't have a mother who will let him cry on her shoulder when he gets scared or confused.
He won't have his older sisters to give him advice about girls as he gets older.
So many lives thrown into turmoil because of one horrible, selfish decison by one man.
But there are other lives thrown into turmoil.  I had just gotten to work this morning when my wife called.  She had picked up the newspaper and read the account of the horrible trafficaccident, when she came upon the names of the victims.  And she read the name Madeline Lisy, age 12.  And she knew that Madeline Lisy was the same little girl who had come to our daughter's birthday party in August.  The same Madeline Lisy who had traveled to Orlando just two days before with our daughter for a field trip to SeaWorld.  The same Madeline Lisy who shared a history class with our daughter.  So Kim had read the newspaper and called me at work.  She was worried that Kellie would get a phone call from a classmate at home and hear the news without one of us being there.  So she told Kellie not to answer her phone until I got home.  Kellie was sure that she had done something to get herself in trouble, despite her mom's assurances.
And so I began a rather long drive home, trying to play the scene in my mind.  How I was going to tell my daughter that one her friends was gone.  I called my parents, asking for advice.  I tried to call my sister--because she had something similar happen to her when she was in high school.  And then I got home....and sat down my daughter at the dinner table.  I told her that....sometimes....things happen and there just is not a reason why they happen.  I told her that I had something that I needed her to know, that it was going to her very sad....but that part of going through life is learning that sometimes good things happen and bad things happen.
And then I placed the article from the newspaper in front of her, and asked her to read it.  She began reading it with a quizical look on her face, as if wondering why I wanted her to read this.  And then she got to the names of the victims, and she burst out crying.   And watching her cry over the loss of her friend made my heart slowly begin to break into a thousand little pieces.  Another life thrown into turmoil by the selfish act of one man.  Kellie continued to cry and I tried to get her to talk about Maddie.  I asked her which class they shared.  How she met her.  What did she like to do?  Did she like music?  Did she have a boyfriend?  I did all these things because I figured that getting her to talk about Maddie was the best way to help her remember the good things about Maddie, and to help her cope with her loss.
She got on the phone with her mother, but couldn't talk about it just yet.  She finally called a couple of herfriends and began to feel better.  We decided to go meet her mom for lunch.  We were driving in the car, and Kellie began to talk about Maddie.
"She really loved basketball."
"Playing or watching?"
"Playing.  She was always asking me if I was going to play on the school's team next year."
"Did she have a boyfriend?"
"No."
"What sort of music did she like?"
"The same stuff I listen too."

Kellie paused and looked out the window as we drove on.

"You know," she said, "that man sure ruined a lot of people's spring break."
"Well," I said, "let's remember that you lost a friend.  But somewhere out there a man lost his daughter and a little boy lost his sister & mom.  Those are the two people who really lost something."

She nodded in agreement.
So many lives in turmoil over one selfish act.

Maddie Lisy was 12 years old.  She leaves behind a grieving father, brother and many, many friends who miss her very much.

Later,
Jeff