5/1/05--Movie review

There's nothing I hate worse than a movie that insults your intelligence.  Well, that's not really true.  Stomach flu....now that's something I hate more than a movie that insults your intelligence.  So okay, let's just say that not a lot of things out there bother me more than a movie that insults your intelligence.

So last night the wife and kids want to go to a movie and they come up with the idea to see the new XXX movie.  No, not some new porno flick (what are they?).  If you recall a few years ago Vin Diesel debuted a potential new movie franchise with XXX, the story of some skateboarding, car racing, stunt guy who ends up being recruited by the government for a James Bond-esque operation.  It made tons of money despite being a pretty crappy movie and it looked like Vin had a franchise to fall back on.  In a move that sounds pretty stupid, apparently Vin couldn't come to terms with the films producers.  So the films producers....now searching for a leading man that could fill the role....a tough looking guy who could fill Vin's shoes....chose:
Ice Cube.
No...seriously.  Ice Cube.  He's cast (try not to laugh) as the former special forces operative who's a master in weapons, martial arts, stealth tactics.....all that sort of stuff that you associate with guys like Stallone, Schwarzeneggar, Seagal....Van Damme....and now......Ice Cube?
Okay....now you see the first problem the movie has.  I'm sorry, but when I think of ass kicking hero types, I usually don't think of former rap stars.  Samuel L Jackson has returned....for reasons that aren't entirely clear to me other than a quick payday.
Willem Dafoe & Peter Strauss (!!?--Good God, when's the last time his name meant anything on a marquee?) round out the supporting cast--both been just a little bit hammy in their roles, with Dafoe especially morphing into his Green Goblin character from the Spiderman movie.  Here's the other problem with the film.
Black guy=good
White guy=bad

I mean....its so blatant that I really couldn't help but notice.  There are a couple of white guys who are on the "good" side, but they're mainly there to play the dufus or the guy who watches Cube do the heavy work.  I tried to explain to my kids that in the same scenario, if all the bad guys were black....or Jewish....or Latin....that it would be just as bad.  So what this movie gives us is....the president ofthe U.S. is about to be killed....and the only people that can save him are.....one special forces guy and some of his friends from the hood.  No, really.  And amazingly...all the guys from the hood drive around in cars that would probably retail for around $75,000.
Maybe they cashed in their 401K, I dunno.  And during the movie, they actually
carjack a tank.  Or as its called....a "tankjacking".  Are you starting to get an idea of what sort of movie we have here?  Now mind you, there are some nice explosions, a few car chases....but the lead character is a really miserable unpleasant guy, and that sure doesn't help matters.  Ice Cube has lead a pretty interesting life, going from gang member in L.A. to recording artist to actor to producer of some very successful movies aimed directly at a black audience (Friday, Barbershop, etc).
Those movies had him cast as a regular guy trying to make it through the day with the same sort of problems that a lot of us have.  Somehow, those roles didn't prepare him to play Rambo, the Terminator or anything like that.   * star for the explosions and for somehow digging up Peter Strauss out of the acting morgue.

Later,
Jeff