So yesterday I made a really bad mistake. Andy went to a tae kwon do tournament and I let myself get talked into having him compete, mainly because....as his instructor told me....he needs experience sparring against kids from other schools.
That was our mindset when we drove up to Palm Beach County to have him compete in a local tournament for kids 13 and younger. That's all well and good--except Andy is 15 years old.
So, without really thinking the whole thing through, we headed up to WPB so that Andy could get some experience. Our troubles began when the kids were seperated into different groups. Andy went with two other 13 year olds--one who was even bigger than him--and competed in the forms competition and placed 2nd.
When the sparring was getting set to start, I noticed one of the fathers from the other schools going up and asking Andy a question. This was a guy who I had seen at another tournament and he seemed like he was kind of a hothead and a potential troublemaker. I asked Andy what the man had said to him and he told me that the man had asked him how old he was--Andy told him he was 13....just like he had been instructed to do. I went over to Andy's instructors and asked them who this guy was that was going up to my son and inquiring of him how old he was. They told me that he was one of the owners of the gym that we were competing at.
I went back and was talking with Kim about what happened. Kim called over one of the instructors and expressed her concern that we would have trouble down the road with the man at perhaps another tournament when he sees Andy competing in the 15 year old tournaments. He looked at us (we'll call this guy Instructor D) and asked why that would happen. Kim said that if Andy is competing in a 13 year old tournament one month and then a 15 year old tournament the next month---what happens if this guy remembers him? Instructor D looked at Kim sort of incredulously and asked how old Andy was. Kim told him 15. Instructor D asked why we had brought Andy to the tournament and she replied that the other instructor, who we'll call Instructor B, wanted Andy to gain experience. Instructor D then called over Instructor B over and they began having a somewhat heated discussion.
A few minutes later we were told that Instructor B had revealed the truth to the tournament coordinaters and that a student Andy's age happened to be there and was willing to compete against Andy in an "exhibition" match. We felt a sense of relief because we didn't want problems to develop down the road based on some wrong advice that we had gotten. Instructor D told us that we had done the right thing.
So the time comes for Andy's exhibition, and too be honest with you, I was a little worried. I had watched the other kid warm up and he looked pretty impressive.
I was watching this kid kicking really high up, showing some nice flexibility. I also knew that flexibility wasn't Andy's strong point.
The match started, and at MAYBE the 15 second spot, Andy was coming in and the other kid--totally by accident--caught Andy low. I mean REALLY low. Thank God for the man who invented the cup, because we might have lost an entire generation of Poe-Bowdren children if he hadn't. Andy was down....but got up and shook it off. I actually felt pretty good at this point, because in his last match Andy had gotten knocked down before he got back up and really did well. So Andy gets back up....and maybe another 15 seconds goes by.....and as Andy starts coming in-
the other kid throws a reverse spinning back kick.
Caught Andy right in the back of the head. Flush.
It was like one of those early Mike Tyson fights. Andy went down and I mean hard.
He was moving his feet as the instructors looked over him so Kim felt he wasn't really hurt that bad---or at least thats what she said out loud so she wouldn't look worried. He sat up and you could see that he was pretty shaken up. They put some ice on the back of his neck and I told Kim that I would play the role of the concerned parent and see how he was doing.
"How ya doing?"
"Uh..uh....okay."
"I think you were sort of like President Reagan after he got shot. You forgot to duck."
"Yeah."
We got the other instructor (Mr. Potential Troublemaker from before-who actually was very nice about the whole thing) to call the other kid over and have he & Andy shake hands so that the kid didn't think that he had hurt Andy. He's a kid Andy's age and I told Andy that he was someone that he could end up meeting again in the future.
Then I went over to Instructor B.
"You know....we tell Andy at home that the worst thing he can do is to lie. And that's what we had him do today."
"That was my fault."
"This will never happen again. You will never put him in that position again. I'm not upset that Andy lost. I'm upset that we allowed him to lie to compete. I think if I let him do that here, then get home and tell him that lying is wrong, I'm sending him a mixed message. This will not happen again. Ever."
Instructor B called us at home later, checking on how Andy was doing. I told him that Andy was out playing basketball--the kick to the back of the head already forgotten. He again apologized. I understood that he felt Andy need more experience against kids from other schools, but that we had made a mistake in doing this. I try and tell Andy & Kellie that life is about making mistakes. You make a mistake and you learn from it.
Lesson learned.
Later,
Jeff
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