(Oh yeah!! And my wife & kids.....ahem)
Anyway, its time to take a look at some of the sports news going on....with comments from an expert---that would be me. How am I an expert? Because dammit, I told you I was! Aren't you people paying attention?
lst of all....today is opening day in baseball....or, as I like to refer to it....that one week period until September when baseball seems interesting. I mean, c'mon....by August you're already sneaking a peek at NFL training camps, aren't ya?
So once again its time for my Chicago Cubs to try and break their own personal little curse....as in...not winning a World Series title since 1908. Hell, at this point I'd be happy just GETTING to the World Series. So naturally, during spring training, Kerry Wood & Mark Prior see fit to go down with arm problems. AAARRGGHH!
Sammy "No Signs of Being on the Gas" Sosa is now in Baltimore, Moises "Peeing on my Hands" Alou is in San Fran....and man oh man, Nomar better have one rip snortin season or we are boned.
Tomorrow we start off the season with Carlos Zambrano....which should mean a few of the following:
1) He'll probably strike out close to 10 D'backs.
2) He'll throw a few pitches in the high 90's.
3) He'll at some point yell at a D'back who got a hit on him.
Zambrano is just a pisser to watch. He's an emotional roller coaster--not unlike both my ex-wives (but I digress)--but he throws the gas and was the Cubs best pitcher by far last season. Unfortunately, I'm seeing a season of a few games over .500--maybe something like 85 wins or so. Probably just missing the playoffs.
Knowing the Cubs luck, they'll miss the playoffs on the last game of the season....probably in the last inning.
Such is the curse of being a Cubs fan. I started watching the Cubs in the early 70's when the first Little League team I played on was......the Cubs. Why couldn't I play for a team like Chico's Bail Bonds?
The other sports news is coming out of South Bend. Yep, its that special time of year for college football---spring football!! New head coach Charlie Weis has been working dutifully putting in his own system and finally ridding the Irish of the stench that was former o-coordinater Bill Diedrick's system. Ugh. Seriously, I cannot imagine us being worse on offensive than we were last season.
The other thing that is going on in South Bend, is the annual event known as the Bookstore Basketball tournament. I mention this for one specific reason. Every year hundreds of kids at Notre Dame enter the tournament--athlete & student alike.
What makes the tournament so special, and such a venerable institution is the team names that each entry comes up with. I'm not talking about names like the "Tigers, Bears, Lions" or anything like that. Oh no....what makes this tournament so special is that each team comes up with names that....well....border on the downright disrespectful. And hilarious. Disrespectful & hilarious can make for an interesting combination.....so...I've taken the time to show you a few examples of the names:
Bookstore Basketball
Here are some of the best team names for this year's tournament:
Robert Goulet and The Shrimp Shack Shakers
Great White Hope
Really Hoping We Play Girls Or Drunks in the First Round
Erectile Dysfunction
We May Be Slow, But We Can't Shoot
Traffic Cones are Better Than Us
We Declined An Invitation To The NIT
Your Best O Comes Against Our D
Your Mom Goes to College
We Delivery
A Team of Sickly Orphans
We Don't Make Shots, We Take Shots
Pretty Much the Worst Team Ever Made
We Score Backdoor
At Least We Could Beat Holy Cross
We Can't Score
Everybody Poops
We Are Proud of Our P.E.-ness
Wave Your Dick Addis
Karen Ann Quinlan, Patrick Ewing and 3 Other Dead Brains
Cheesy Vaginal Discharge
Yank My Doodle, It's a Dandy
Two Catholics & a Protestant who can Score
Pontius Pilate & the Naildrivers
Yes...oh my. It doesn't get much more disrespectful than that, does it?
I've been very lax in my film watching lately, as I've been trying to get through a DVD of season # 1 of...(gulp)....Miami Vice. Yes, its a guilty pleasure. That and there has been almost nothing that looks interesting at the theatres. That should begin to change within the next few weeks as the summer blockbusters begin to find their way into the local cineplex.
Tomorrow night, I will return to reviewing my own DVD collection with reviews of two of my alltime favorites:
Caddyshack
A Christmas Story
Oh boy....those are two good ones!
Later,
Jeff
No comments:
Post a Comment