So last night, for a variety of reasons, was a rare Friday night that we had the chance to go out EARLY as a family and get a nice dinner. Usually, Friday night dinners happen in the 8:00 hour or later, so it was nice thinking that we'd be able to eat dinner early (did I mention EARLY?), maybe do some shopping and get back home at a decent hour.
Au contraire mon frare.
So the wife decides that she wants to go out to the old Sawgrass Mall and since she has a gift card for Cheesecake Factory, we can do some quick shopping and eat there.
Well, everything is looking just fine until we get to the Factory, and we see approximately 7,000 women waiting to go in and eat.
I'm wondering what in the blue hell is with all these women doing here, when Kim overhears someone mentioning a "Women of Faith" convention that is taking place at the nearby Bank Atlantic Center, home of the consistently disappointing Florida Panthers (don't get me started). So we fight--and I mean that quite literally--our way to the hostess and put our name in. I mean, guys in bootcamp have it easier than trying to wade through a bunch of born again, hungry and cranky women of God with blisters on their feet. Oy vey! So we're told the wait is..."around 55 to 75 minutes". So we go into the mall, do our shopping and come back. The wait at that point? "10 to 20 minutes". So, about 30 minutes later, Kim goes to the hostess stand and lets them know that we are well past the time that we were told we would have to wait. We are told to go and stand in the line for people waiting to be taken to their tables. Where we wait....for another 15 minutes. That was when I went up and asked just what in the hell was happening with our tables.
Finally we were seated around 7ish. So much for the early dinner. Pushing, shoving and being rude wasn't in the bible as far as I knew...but apparently it is in the one used by "Women of Faith". Do NOT get me started.
So later, we're walking in the mall on the way out....and Kellie wants to stop in a shoe store. Never...ever....never...will I experience this little joy of life again. You wanna talk indecisive? Yikes. And then, when they tell her that its buy one, get one for $10!
Holy cats....by the time we left, I needed to shave again! But...the interesting thing was, while I was sitting on the bench waiting for the Jurassic period to come through again (cough, cough), this man and a younger girl sat next to me. I happened to "accidently" listen to their conversation. The father was Latin and spoke mainly in broken English.
The daughter spoke only in English though....and I heard her say:
"Dad, you don't understand. My friends didn't know. It wasn't the people I was hanging around with. They didn't know I was doing cocaine. I would go into the bathroom, do a line, then come out and NO ONE knew I had used. Don't you get that?"
YOWSA. Sometimes you stumble on some interesting conversations. It was almost juicy enough to make me forget about those rude Women of Faith.
Almost.
Later,
Jeff
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1 comment:
On behalf of all women of faith I apologize for your terribly "un-holy" treatment! If some women could only understand that the world is watching and we are walking examples of our faith each moment............they obviously missed a huge opportunity to "witness" and wadted their money on the conference.
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