Interesting weekend

So I had a fairly interesting weekend.  It starts off on Friday afternoon, when I'm out walking the dog.  I'm at the intersection by my house, and this SUV is making a turn right towards me....so I'm pulling the boys outta the road, making sure their safe.  And the lady is just sitting there.  I'm trying to figure out why she's not turning, when she begins to make a really slow turn and stops right next to me.  I'm thinking she must need directions or something.  She rolls the window down and says:

"Hey, do you work at the courthouse?"
I'm just getting ready to answer, and I notice who it is.  Suffice to say that it was someone who I had....ahem....dated once many a moon ago.  And then we suddenly recognize each other and after a brief discussion, we discover that she lives about 8 houses down from me...on the same damn street for the last 5 years!!  Isn't it nice to know your neighbors???  After she drove away, I found myself remembering a memorable evening oh so many years ago.

I had asked a friend of mine, the dreaded Colleen, to set me up with her sister Kelly.
Yep, the old former Mrs Me # 2...who at this point I hadn't even gone out with yet.  So a bunch of us decided to meet up at the old J.W.'s, yep the original 4am nightclub right there on University Drive next to Hooters.  Well, the week before, I had met up with a bunch of friends at the old Cadillac Jack's on Oakland Park Blvd (is anyone else having acid flashbacks remembering these clubs???).  So, since we had such a good time, I told my friends to join us at J.W.'s....figuring that they could hang out while I was putting my moves on Kelly.  So....we get there, and Colleen sorta shows up with her (first) husband and sister in tow, and we're having a nice time hanging out and talking....and I'm watching my friends from work dancing etc etc....and then my future neighbor shows up.....shitface drunk.  Now, in my life I've seen all kinds of drunks.....ya got yer rowdy drunks, yer happy drunks....and then ya got that kind that everyone forgets about.....the CRYING DRUNK.....ugh....what a huge pain in the ass this kind is.  So she comes up and starts interrupting me & Kelly.  And I'm trying to be nice, telling this girl that I'm talking to Kelly.  But she's just not taking no for an answer.  And Kelly is starting to get a little upset that this girl is being so obnoxious.  So I'm looking around for the person the girl came with (her best friend---allegedly) and she's disappeared into the crowd at the club....leaving me stuck with her drunken friend!!  So I'm trying (surprisingly) to be a gentlemen to both ladies....but its just not working.  Eventually, Kelly leaves with her sister--undoubtably less than impressed.  So now I've gotten the drunken loon on my hands and I'm doing everything I can to be nice.  I go buy her a cup of coffee to sober up.
I take her outside to get some fresh air....I try to walk her around....and all the while, she's making passes at me left and right.  Its that eternal dilema from the movie Animal House---remember?  Devil on one shoulder---angel on the other.  What's a guy to do?  Shockingly, I remained a gentleman and decide to help her find her friend so I can get out of there and try and figure out just what in the hell went wrong with my evening!  So as we're walking around the club, she suddenly pushes me up against the wall and starts sticking her tongue in my mouth (and oh boy---that mixture of Jack Daniels and coffee was a nice mix) and asking me why I wasn't....ahem.....taking advantage of the situation (hey, my parents might read this people!).....ya know, ya try to be a nice guy...and where does it get you???
So I finally locate her "friend" and hand her off and tell her that I'm now obsolved of all responsibility.  So on Monday, I'm wondering what happened to the crying drunk so I call her friend...give her a rash of shit for dumping her buddy on me and then ask her what happened to her friend.  She laughed, and told me that she called the girl the next day and was told that she couldn't understand why she woke up in the morning sleeping on the coffee table---with her panties on her head.  Ah yes, memories........

So Saturday was a big day for Kellie (that's my daughter---not the former Mrs Me # 2)....and I finally got the chance to meet the much talked about Matt!  Not a bad looking kid, and it was so much fun watching her get desperately uncomfortable with me watching her every move.  Parenting can be fun!!

We had a nice evening out with our friends Jimmy & Mary last night--nice dinner and good companionship.  Mary was trying to talk me into coming over so the four of us could play a board game.  Sorry toots!!  It was the opening game of the college football season!!  Unfortunately, USC beat Va Tech, which wasn't such a good thing...but it was a decent game.

This afternoon, I sat around and watched one of the alltime great "bad" movies.  These of course are not to be confused with either "great" movies.....or "bad" movies...these are great bad movies.  I speak of course of the alltime Swayze classic "Road House".  Swayze is looking buffed as can be as the "cooler", which is some sort of insider bar lingo apparently for a bouncer, of the roughest bar//dance club called the Double Deuce---which may or may not be somewhere near Kansas City.
Besides that, he practices some sort of weird Tai Chi shit...sorta like David Carradine with better hair.  He is ably assisted by a vertiable who's who of character actors....including Sam Elliot, as "Wade Garrett"--the older, wiser bouncer who's his guru (bouncers need guru's?).....Kevin Tighe (remember him from Emergency! ??)...
Ben Gazzara as the town boss who by God will do anything he damn well pleases, and finally by Terry Funk as the tough guy bouncer who gets fired because "he doesn't have the right temperment"---I'm not making that up).....the proverbial girl chasing after Swazye is Kelly Lynch, who plays a doctor in town who falls for big Pat (and what doctor doesn't fall for the local bouncer?).  She looks okay, although her eyebrows could use a pluck and the chest is looking sorta boney....but hey, that's just me...the real reason to see this is that its all a huge vanity project for Swayze....besides being a bouncer ("I heard he killed a guy in Memphis once"), he's also a philosphy major from NYU!!!  This isn't the best bad Swayze movie ever (nothing can ever top Next of Kin for shear awfulness), but is "not bad"---** 1/4

Fantasy Football time again, and I didn't do bad....managed to snag Daunte Culpepper on the first round, so I'm not complaining!!

Later,
Jeff

PS....I know, I know....I'll finish off the top 10 in a day or so...in the meantime...think about these two lists for me......what's the best "bad" movie you've ever seen?  And since it came up at work---what's the funniest movie of alltime???
I'll be discussing these topics in the days and weeks to come!!

8/26/04

So lately I've been trying to get through some of my DVD's before the new fall t.v. schedule starts and I get hooked on another season of 24 & NYPD Blue....so last night I remembered I had gotten a DVD with (what was billed as) the first entire Springsteen concert to be on DVD.  He was live in Barcelona from the fall of 2002 and I gotta tell ya....it was one hell of a rocking concert.  That being said....I just find myself getting totally annoyed by his wife.  I know she's not Yoko, but its not like she offering a lot of key musicianship either.  And she tries to work that whole "mystical" look---sort of a cross between a bad Stevie Nicks impression and the queen of the elves in Lord of the Rings.  Am I wrong?

So yesterday, it was Foxy1040's birthday at the office, and I decided to give her the perfect gift.  Inside her birthday card was a little...ahem....ya know...photo of myself that was taken on my honeymoon...in the bathtub....surrounded by bubbles of course (I do have SOME decorum).  Anyway, it was (needless to say) the absolute hit of the office, and I think I acquired quite a few new friends who were quite appreciative of what they saw.  I don't want to brag, but the former Mrs Me # 1 wanted to take a gander also....I said it was nothing she hadn't already seen already.

Well, it appears to be "official".  Kellie was asked by Matt, the kid who goes to school in the limo, to be "his girlfriend".  Its like I told her....if you have the choice between the poor kid and the kid who gets taken to school in a limo.....let your heart tell you the answer...and it better be the rich kid.

I got about halfway through a movie on DVD tonite (full review in one of the next issue or two) of the movie "From Hell".  Its about the Jack the Ripper murders in London circa 1888, and stars Johnny Depp & Heather Graham.  The movie is gory as all get out, but its a damn good movie.  I'll say this....that Johnny Depp is one hell of a good actor.  Speaking of movies (and we were).....

Its time to get to my continuing top 10 list.  Here's what we got so far:
10) The Shawshank Redemption
  9) Rear Window
  8) Outlaw Josey Wales
  7) Godfather 1&2
  6) Lord of the Rings trilogy
  5) Unforgiven
  4) Jaws
and now...my choice...as my number 3 film of alltime is....
  3) The Deerhunter.....it came out in 1978, the same year as Coming Home, which starred Jon Voight & Jane Fonda...and Apocalpyse Now, which starred Martin Sheen & Marlon Brando.  But it was Michael Cimino's movie that won the Academy Award that year for Best Picture in what was known as the year of the Vietnam movie, as all three of the above mentioned films dealt with the Vietnam War.  Coming Home dealt with the effects of returning home to the war veteran and Apocalpyse Now dealt with the insanity of war....but The Deerhunter, despite the war being the central theme and the catalyst of the film and the events that result from it, isn't necessarily a "war movie".  It really more a film about friendship, and the ties that bond that friendship together and what can occur to rip it apart.  Receiving nominations for their outstanding work in the film were Robert DeNiro, Meryl Streep & Christopher Walken (who won)....the late John Cazale probably should have been nominated for his role as the smalltown loudmouth who isn't as brave as he'd like everyone to believe his is.  But this movie really belongs to DeNiro and Walken, as smalltown best friends Michael & Nick, who's friendship is put to the ultimate test as the become prisoners of war in a Vietnamese camp.  The two scenes in the film where the two men play Russian Roulette are among the most gripping in film history.  Many have criticized the scene, saying that such things didn't really happen during the war, which director Michael Cimino admited, saying the scene was merely a metaphor for the struggles that the United States was going through at home during the war.  Whatever the reason for the scenes, they are absolutely captivating, and perhaps no movie has better captured the terrible things that are seen during war.  In Apocalpyse Now, Marlon Brando is best remembered for his classic line....."the horror", in describing the things he has seen.  In The Deerhunter, Christopher Walken doesn't need to say anything about the horror...its written all over his face in every contortion and twitch he makes.   *****

Later,
jeff

8/23/04---I'm baaaaack

Hey...so I took a couple of friggin days off....sue me.  And I'm starting late because I had to sit around and sweat out another Cubs game.  Is it any wonder my hair is starting to thin?  Geez, I'm a Cubs fan....a Vikings fan....an Irish fan....I can't believe I'm not a total cueball by now.  In other words....its not easy being me.
So lately, I've been following up on some of the stuff that I saw in Washington DC.  I taped a show on the History Channel the other night on the last days of WW II and by God if it wasn't interesting as all hell.  I went to the library and checked out a couple of books on the subject also.  You know what they say....those who don't know and understand history are doomed to repeat it (ah hell, its something like that).  And as I watched this show....and have read some of the books....here's what amazes me.  The whole country!!  Old crazy 'dolf got the WHOLE COUNTRY to basically lose their minds for like 12 years.  Geez, if I'm a German and I'm like in my 70's or 80's and I was either a member of the army or whatever....I gotta be spending my life thinking:  "what in the world were we thinking?"  I mean, you read this stuff...you watch the films....and again....THE WHOLE COUNTRY just totally bought into the incredible amount of bullshit that this guy was spewing.  I mean, its one thing to get a small minority to think that way.....but an entire country?  What....did the entire population of Germany have self-esteem issues or something?
Unbelieveable.
Well, today was the kids first day of school....sounds like they had pretty good day.
I hope Andy makes some new friends and gets a little boost in his confidence.  Kellie won't have any problems in that department.  So I get home today, and after they tell me about all the days events, Kim calls me and tells me that she's on her way home.  Then she tells me that someone called her cellphone......ELEVEN TIMES.  So I mosey on back to the kids rooms...and ask them oh-so-politely who might have used the phone to call mom.  And Kellie says that she did.  I ask her if the house had been on fire, or if her brother was choking....or if there was a particular reason that she saw fit to phone her mother--at work--eleven times.  She said that she wanted to tell her that she was going to need a notebook for school tomorrow.  So ah......you remember that new phone that Kellie got the other day?
Well, let's just say that she's currently in the midst of a "phone suspension".  Ahem.

SPORTS ALERT---SPORTS ALERT---WOMEN MAY BYPASS THIS PART
So my Cubbies have won 3 out of 4 and have now tied the Giants for the wild card lead...starting pitching needs to pick em up and shut em down....looks like K Wood will get suspended (AGAIN) for his role in the little beanball war in Houston on Sunday....tonight I sat and watched the beginning of the new Chris Benoit DVD, and I must say that its really good....really nice footage of Chris as a kid and they talk with his parents and childhood friends, as well as some moving interviews with Eddy Guerraro & Dean Malenko and fond remembrances of Owen Hart.  Can't wait to finish this one---its really good stuff.

OKAY LADIES....YOU CAN COME BACK NOW
Alrighty, so its been awhile since I've mentioned any movies that I've watched.  Quite frankly I haven't had the time, okay?  I mean...gimme a break here people.
So here's what I got....and frankly it ain't much:

1) Waiting for Guffman--here's another one from the people who brought you This is Spinal Tap, Best in Show and last years A Mighty Wind.  I would place this movie maybe 3rd in that group, with Spinal Tap the best and Best in Show at # 2.  This movie was quite frankly a little bit of a disappointment, as the humor is so deadpanned and dry that some people won't appreciate it.  However, there is one absolutely hilarious scene in a Chinese restaurant with two couples that almost makes the movie worth renting just on that basis alone.  There's also some very funny sight gags in the movie that you might miss if your not paying attention---how about the "My Dinner with Andre" action figures?  And Fred Willard (who is hilarious in just about anything he's in) as the actor in community theatre who writes two pages of notes for his wife on her performances.  This movie will probably be better appreciated by fans of the "mockumentary"....i.e., Spinal Tap, Best in Show & Mighty Wind....those who haven't seen it probably won't like it much.  ** 1/4

2) Iron Eagle--believe it or not, I had never seen this staple of anything having to do with the decade of the 80's.  So I'm flipping channels and Kims says "I love this movie", and can't believe there is actually a movie that she's seen that I haven't.  Now I know why....what a huge pile of crap this thing was.  I was laughing at the movie...it was that bad.  Now mind you, there's movies that are bad, and you can appreciate them cuz there bad....and then there's movies like this...that take themselves juuuuussssttt a little too seriously.  Only good thing in the movie was a great song by Queen called "One Vision".  Did Louis Gossett Jr really go from the Academy Awards to this piece of junk?  Geez, talk about needing work.  ZERO stars!!

Also, I recently bought the new DVD releases of Kill Bill Vol 2 & the new special edition of Predator and hope to have reviews of them up soon.

Now, its time for out top 10 countdown to continue.  Here's where we stand:
10) The Shawshank Redemption
  9) Rear Window
  8) Outlaw Josey Wales
  7) Godfather 1 & 2
  6) Lord of the Rings trilogy
  5) Unforgiven

and now....at # 4 on my top 10....is Jaws.  If you were around in the mid 70's when this movie came out....you didn't want to go to the beach after you saw it.  This movie just became part of the american culture one summer and affected (literally) the entire tourism industry for years to come.  Its a great fish tale (and if you've never read the book, you really ought too--its a great read) about a small little town that has a small little problem.  Its a summer beach town, and well....there's seems to be a giant man-eating shark who's decided to camp out right about the spot where people like to swim.  You can see where this might present a slight problem for the locals.  Anyway, the whole movie is terrific fun, as well as being suspenseful as all hell in certain parts....but what really makes the movie # 4 in my view is the classic scene in the quiet of the boat at sea, when Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw & Richard Dreyfus sit around comparing scars---which leads to Shaw recounting his experience on the USS Indianapolis during WW II.  Its beyond gripping.  It may be one of the greatest single scenes in movie history.  *****

Later,
Jeff

8/20/04

Well, its the end of a relatively short week...at least workwise.  Yesterday was Kellie's 12th birthday, and short of the national holiday that she had hoped for, we had a nice day, including cake with our neighbors Jimmy & Mary and their kids.  Kellie is estatic that she now is the proud owner of her own phoneline, which was the gift that Kim and I gave her.  She also got a couple of CD's from her brother, so she was one happy camper to say the least. 
The other night Kim had one of those special "mother & daughter" moments with Kellie in that she took her in the bathroom and showed her how to shave her legs and under her arms.  I can't practically hear the drama coming in the distance.  Kellie was slightly embarassed that Kim had told me about it, but I told her that there wasn't much that her mother was going to keep from me.  She's really starting to become the young lady.  Sometimes she does something, or makes a facial expression....and I'll think to myself...'how is she not my natural child?'  She has somethings that she does that is just like me and then she has certain things that are so far removed from me its ridiculous.  Ah, the joys of parenting.

Hey, I didn't forget about my top 10 list....just to refresh your memory, I'm examing my top 10 movies of alltime--one at a time---here's the list so far:
10) The Shawshank Redemption
  9) Rear Window
  8) Outlaw Josey Wales
  7) The Godfather 1 & 2
  6) Lord of the Rings trilogy
and now...returning to the list.....we find my next choice:
  5) Unforgiven....John Wayne made more great westerns than you can shake a stick at.  Movies like Red River, The Searchers, Rio Bravo, True Grit, Stagecoach and others are part of the american filmgoers lexicon.  But none of these great movies is my favorite western of alltime.  Clint Eastwood had helped popularize the "spaghetti western" in the late 60's & early 70's with director Sergio Leone when he made such films as The Good, The Bad & The Ugly, For a Few Dollars More, High Plains Drifter, Hang Em High & Fist Full of Dollars when he decided to move on and take on the more modern role of the iconic police detective Harry Callahan in the Dirty Harry series.  Oh, he returned occasionally to the western genre, and on a few occasions (Outlaw Josey Wales) he would hit the ball right out of the park, but Eastwood felt he had one final statement to make on the western movie & the old west in general.  This one wasn't just a home run, it was a grandslam in the bottom of the ninth with two outs in game 7 of the world series (is that symbolic enough for ya?)  Unforgiven is a movie about revenge, about friendship, about the way that power can corrupt, about a man attempting to redeem himself for a past that he's ashamed of (in that way its similar to my # 10 selection--The Shawshank Redemption), about misconceptions about they mythlogy of the old west....its all those things and so many more.  Just as a minor aside, it presents a portrayal of what a prostitute's life was like in probably more of an accurate way than any western that you'll ever see.  There are no drop dead gorgeous whores here.  These are women eeking out an existence as best they can and suffering with the consequences of a mistake on the job.  Clint Eastwood plays William Muny, a notorious former killer who is hired by a group of prostitutes to take revenge for a vicious attack on one of their own.  Gene Hackman plays the sheriff of the town, trying to meet out his own brand of justice and keep the town under his iron fist.  The two characters are drawn closer & closer as a series of events unfold until the gripping conclusion.  Eastwood, looking worn out, weatherbeaten is perfect as the old killer who finds that returning to the ways of his past aren't quite as easy as he thought.  He is joined by Morgan Freeman as Ned, who rode with Eastwood's character in the past and is drawn away from his farm for the chance at one last opportunity to make money quickly.
The movie has several other outstanding performances, including Frances Farmer, Richard Harris, Saul Rubinchek & others.  Like a lot of Eastwood movies, there are tons of great lines that are thrown out, and no doubt you'll find yourself repeating them in the weeks after you see the film.  There is also tons of symbolism for you to watch for....I won't ruin it all for you, but pay particular attention to the role that alcohol has on one of the main characters and what finally causes them to take a drink.  Its a great scene and you'll know what I'm talking about when you see it.
An absolute must see and my choice as the greatest western ever made.  *****

 

Day # 7

I am officially ready to go home.  But before we do that, we head out in the morning for a visit to Arlington National Cemetary.  I'm always overwhelmed just at the sheer number of headstones.  Its just row after row after row.  Really puts things into perspective.  We walked up just as they were doing the changing of the guard at the tomb of the unknown soldier.  We then walked over and observed the eternal flame in front of the grave of President Kennedy...didn't realize that he & Jackie had two other children besides Caroline & John-John.  After that we still had some time left so we went downtown to check out an exhibit at the National Geographic Museum on dogs!!  It made me realize how much I missed my fellas and was looking forward to seeing them again.  Back at the hotel, in keeping with Kim's time beliefs, we arrived at the airport 2 hours before we were due to leave.  UGH.  But, I love her so I did it--of course, I managed to give her some crap about it---I wouldn't be me if I didn't.
We are finally home.  Its great to see the dogs.  The cats?  Who cares?  But the boys are my other two children and I had missed them a lot.

Tomorrow, back to my usual ramblings...and I'll pick up on my top 10 list.  I know you're waiting with baited breath.

Later,
Jeff

Day # 6 of the vacation

So I get up today, and go downstairs to attempt to find something to eat at the hotel breakfast area, which truthfully hasn't been that wonderful.  So I decide that I'm going to have an English muffin.  I never have the things for breakfast, so how bad can it be in comparison to poorly prepared eggs or soggy bacon...right?  So they have one of those toasters where you put the toast on the tray and it slowly rotates the bread under the heating element and eventually it pops it out, all toasted and all.  Except for one thing.....I'm standing there and Kim walks over and looks at one of my muffins pops out.  She looks at me sorta funny and I tell her that one of my muffins still hasn't come out yet.
"Um, didn't you know that you were supposed to slice the muffin in half?"

Hey.....who knew?  Meanwhile I'm trying to avoid everyone in the breakfast room noticing that my english muffin appears to be on fire.  What a way to start a day.

So we decided to go to the bureau of engraving or, as Kim calls it:  "where they make the money".  This is actually one of the places that Kim is really looking forward to seeing and we're walking down the street towards it and right in front of us we get to experience a lovely early morning car accident.  One car totally T-boned  the other...glass and metal strewn everywhere.  Geez, I had barely been up an hour and I had almost started one fire and had witnessed an accident.  So as we get to the engraving place, we're told that the building is closed until like 2006.  Why?  Its those Al Qaida bastards life difficult for tourism!!  So as we're walking along trying to find a place to go too, we pass in front of the National Holocaust Museum.  We decided to go into there.

It is the one place on a visit to Washington D.C. that everyone should go too.

Absolutely devastating.  If you go, whether you are Jewish or not, and are not moved emotionally by what you see, you're either devoid of human feelings or just incapable of grasping history....or maybe both.  You walk in and are handed "identification papers" of someone who was alive during WW II and lived during the time.  It gave you a brief biography of the person, and told you of their experiences during the time.  So here I am, walking along the tour and I'm reading some brief facts about Marcus Fass of Ulanow, Poland.  And then I get to the last page....Marcus Fass was captured in 1943 and never seen or heard from again.
Dead.  It sort of made the experience a little more personal.  I walked through looking at some of the relics of the time....the shoes of the people taken to the concentration camps....the bricks from the Warsaw ghetto....the video showing the results of some of the "experiments" of the Nazi doctors.  It was absolutely horrible, and yet I was fascinated from a historical point of view.  It is a place that must be visited.
After a brief lunch at a downtown Subway's, we went across the street to a place the kids had really been looking forward to visiting--the international spy museum.
I must say, its really good stuff.  Again, lots of really informative stuff and they try and personalize it by having you assume an identity that you have to try and remember at the end of the tour.  Top notch stuff, and one of the things that I remember is that there are belived to be at least 1,000 people operating in what is said to be "covert operations" within a one block radius of the building.  Yikes!

End of day # 6

Day # 5 of vacation--Day with the Wiley's!!

So its Sunday of the vacation, and we have planned to spend the day with my old friend Dennis Wiley & his wife & son.  We arrange to meet about 11am near the Museum of Natural History.  Right before we get there, we get a call from Dennis saying that they are just leaving their trainstop and will be a little late.  So we're hanging out around the terminal exit when we subjected too---"The Attack of the Killer Bees".  Well, actually Kellie was subjected to the attack, and technically it was really only ONE bee that really was just sort of following her around.  That was what really happened....if you want Kellie's version, it would be something like:

"...and then this bee, who was about the size of my hand, moved in and tried to attack me, and I looked right into his eyes....and I saw that he was laughing at me, mocking me and was saying 'I'm going to sting you and it's going to get infected and then you'll have to have surgery' and I was more scared than I've ever been by anything in my entire life."

Like I said....it was a lot of drama.
Finally the Wiley's showed up (30 minutes late--ahem) and after exchanging greetings with everyone (I didn't realize that Kim & Lori had never actually met) we headed over to the museum.  The rest of the brood check out all the sites, while Dennis and I were busy rehashing the past, catching up on old friends and laughing about our exploits in the past that we hope our wives never hear about.  (cough)
So then Dennis suggests a place for lunch and we head to a place called "Pizza Paradiso".  Here's where you know you're in trouble when you walk into a pizza joint.....no one who looks remotely "Italian" works there.  Ya know, sorta like going to a Chinese place in the mall and you notice that not one Chinese person---not even an Oriental--works there.  I became concerned and then they brought the pizza.  No sauce.  By that, I don't mean there was just a "touch" of sauce.  I mean NO SAUCE.  Dennis started laughing and said---"I didn't know it was 'gourmet pizza'.
Actually the dough wasn't that bad and hey, Dennis paid for lunch.  So then we headed over to the Museum of American History, which was actually a pretty cool place and was in the middle of a Beatles in America exhibit.  About that time, the pizza began to try and make a re-appearence, if ya know what I mean and I think ya do....WHOA.  Nothing like bad pizza.  So we were going to head back to our hotel when we asked the Wiley's to join us for dinner.  Lori and Kim quickly huddled (women!) and decided that we would go to the Cheesecake Factory, which is another place that Kim is never going to decline a visit too.  Only problem?  The restaurant is like 4 or 5 stops up the Metroline.  So we get off and begin walking in the greater Maryland area....and we ain't finding no Cheesecake Factory.  So we then walked BACK to the Metro and went back a couple of exits and then discovered the Cheesecake Factory which "only" had a wait of 30 minutes.  Please not the sarcasm, because by this point its like 7:30 at night.  We finally take a seat and I got some fried shrimp, which wasn't bad while we all watched Devin try and sleep in as uncomfortable a position as is humanly possible.  We finally went our seperate ways after a good day.  By the way, fair is fair---we picked up the check for dinner--the only "good " mean of the day.  Not that I want to remind Dennis or anything.....ya know...that wouldn't be polite. (cough)

Day # 4 of vacation---Annapolis, Maryland

Ya know, I've been to Annapolis twice now, and I've officially decided.  If I ever win the lotto or get my hands on a million dollars or something---I think Annapolis is one of those towns I'd consider living in.  Its just beautiful in a real "old school" kind of way.  Just seems like a town where you'd like to be from.  If you have tons of money of course.  Don't kid yourself.  If you live here, either you have lots of money or you're just above the poverty line.  It just seems like it would cost a fortune to live there.  I mean, ya got the Naval Academy right smack dab in the middle of town, and right there walking past you every day is the best and the brightest that the nation has to offer.  So we get up early on Saturday morning to go to Annapolis.  This is going to be the one day of our trip that we need to rent a car though, and the day before I had made a reservation with Enterprise, with the only stipulation being that I would have to return the car to the airport location, which wasn't a huge deal since the airport is about a mile away from our hotel.  So in the morning I call Enterprise and they decide to send me to "another location".  The whole situation is rapidly degrading into a huge clusterfuck, when I remember that we had passed by a Budget location within walking distance of the hotel.  So we begin the walk over to Budget.  I walk into the office, and notice that I am number 8 or 9 in line, and there appears to be about 20 people outside waiting for a vehicle---and naturally there's ONE FRIGGIN PERSON working the entire office!!!  Pretty soon the yelling starts (and believe it or not---it was not me!) and I beat a hasty retreat before the cops show up.  I tell Kim that we can just go get a car at the airport.  So we get in the van to take us to the airport, and about 2 blocks from the hotel we glance out the window and notice an---you guessed it---Enterprise Rent a Car.  The guy in the hotel van let us out and we go and rent a Buick Century....which is a great car is you're like 85 yrs old or you work for the CIA.  We headed towards Annapolis, choosing to follow the directions of the guy from Enterprise, who informed Kim that her Mapquest directions were completely useless.  We get to Annapolis, and stop in to visit Andy's friend, the dreaded Max Balzano--who is only slightly less of a band geek than Andy.  I have no problem realizing why they were friends.  Two peas in a pod.  Both of them going into 9th grade, and zero interest in girls.  Moi??  I was in 6th grade and swiping Playboys from the Navy Exchange my friend!  Anyway, the Balzano's had this incredible house, which is like 3 stories high, plus a basement....its just awesome.  They were very gracious and took us to lunch downtown at a place called "Mangia's", where we had a very nice Italian meal in amongst a ton of sports memorabilia.  Italian food and sports---thatsa one nice-a-combo!!  We then walked over and briefly toured the Naval Academy, which is a beautiful campus, except that on this day it was pouring rain, as Kellie swore that the hurricanes were following us up the coast of the U.S.  The only bummer was that here it was a Saturday afternoon, and the Navy football team wasn't practicing.  What's up with that???
Finally we headed home, trying to beat the really bad weather that was predicted to be in the D.C. area around dinner time.  I had been trying most of the day to get in touch with my parents, and was becoming concerned about how they had made out in Orlando with the hurricane the day before.  I finally reached my not-quite-as-good looking brother, who had spoken to them briefly and told me that both were doing fine, although they had lost some screens, a fence and some shingles off the roof.
I finally got through to Dad, and informed him that Governor Jeb Bush hisownself will be down in the greater Orlando area to hand them a check to pay for the repairs.  We decided to stay relatively local for dinner that night, as it was literally pouring rain--remnants of Hurricane Charley--and so we ate at Chevy's and had--once again---Tex Mex.  Kim and the kids will never turn down Tex-Mex, that's for sure.  I was fine until my 2nd Pina Colada arrived, and finding it not quite up to snuff, promptly returned it to the bartender.  How dare he give me a poor quality beverage?

End of Day # 4

Day # 3 of the vacation

We start day # 3 by heading over to the Air & Space Museum.  This was the one trip that Andy was really looking forward too, and he had to be in band geek heaven with all the aerospace technology and equipment on hand.  I sort of got into all the WW II airplanes they had on display in one section.  We then took about a 30 minute busride over to the new section of the A&S Museum, which is in an airplane hanger that is about the size of 3 football fields.  Saying that its huge just doesn't do the thing justice.  Massive is more like it.  Inside we checked out one of the Concorde's and got to look up close and personal at the Enola Gay.  History buffs?
What's the significance of the Enola Gay?  Anyone?  Class?  Bueller?  Ferris Bueller?
Check back at the end of this entry to get the answer, although you really should know and I'm appalled at your lack of historical knowledge!!
After we returned to downtown D.C. via another busride, we went over to the National Archives.  More Al Qaida related delays, as the wait to get into the damn building could only be described as interminable.  We finally got in and got a chance to let the kids look at such historical works as the Declaration of Independence, the Bill of Rights and the Constitution.  So then we decide to make our way home, and Kim, in her infinite good nature, decided to let me hit the one restaurant that I had really wanted to visit on our vacation.  We stopped off a couple of Metro exits before our hotel and proceeded to walk up....and up....and up....and up....and (when the hell did Arlington, Va become San Francisco?) up and then FINALLY we saw the sign fo rthe BBQ restaurant called Red Hot & Blue.  What was really cool about the joint was all the great posters of famous blues and early rock artists that adorned the walls.  Terrific stuff and I was thinking about my boys Dino, Greg & Mr. Sexay RPM while I was checking the stuff out.  And after a couple of days of drinking nothing but soda, imagine how happy I was to discover that, as a legitimate BBQ joint, they sold...not only TEA....but in fact....SWEET TEA.  And not that raspberry flavored shit either.  Or that stupid "lemon" flavored tea.  By God in heaven every summer I went to Beaufort, S.C. to visit my grandparents and when you asked for tea, you got a little bit of tea with your sugar and that's the way it should be served!!  Ahem.  So while I reveled in the benefits of sweet tea, our waiter Corey came over and gave us the hilites of the menu.  The kids, ever the ones to test their respective palates....ordered hamburgers.  UGH.  You go to get BBQ and the kids order hamburgers....very discouraging.  I need to work on that, because if they are going to by God bear MY LAST NAME.......rule number 7 of the Bowdren family code is:  "thou shalt eat BBQ when it is set before thee".  I'm serious...look it up.
So I order...go figure...the ribs, which were served "Mempho" style.  To be completely candid (and aren't I always)...I thought the ribs were a tad dry.  But the pulled pork was quite good, the cornbread was absolutely top notch and the hushpuppies were amongst the best I've ever had!  So we're absolutely full as a tick when Corey mentions the dessert specials---which include----"nana puddin".  Well Hell's Bell's!!  If its good enough for the King, Elvis Aron Presley, its good enough for me!!  And as I sampled it....I almost....bear with me here...I'm getting emotional...I almost cried....cuz....(sniff)....the nana puddin was....(sniff)...as good as the kind that.....mama used to make.  Yep, sorry Ma.  It was that good.  Okay, I'm better now.
We get back in time for the opening of the Olympics, and Kim decides to do a little bit of "hotel laundry", which is always a pisser, since it usually (and did this time) involve you having to wait for someone to come get their damn clothes out of the washer or dryer.  Well, my little spitfire decided she wasn't going to wait, and removed someone's clothes from the washer and almost ended up having a throwdown in the laundry room.  Back in the room, I had been told at least 74 times by my little weather watch Kellie that a hurricane was hitting the west coast of Florida and was now heading for the Orlando area.  Well, as anyone who knows me knows---that's Mare & Lair country baby!!  I had to give Big Daddy Dink & Big Mama a call!!  So I call, and ask my dad for an update on the approaching storm.  What follows is an approximate transcript of the phone call.  Folks, I can't make this shit up....
Me:  "Hey dad...hear ya got a storm coming your way."
Lair:  "Yep...we've gotten all the furniture off of the patio.  The eye of the hurricane is about an hour away from our house.........so hey, how's your vacation going???"

I quickly had to remind my father that my vacation wasn't the most important thing on my mind at that moment and that I would tell him about our vacation later.  As someone asked Kim at work the other day:
"Exactly at what point in our lives do our parents become kids again?"

My mom & dad forgot that their children were worrying about them and wanted to know how my vacation was going....suddenly I was the worried parent.  Funny how time does that to ya, huh?

End of day # 3

PS....by the way, the Enola Gay dropped the bomb over Hiroshima---you're quite the genius there, aren't ya?

Day 2 of the D.C. vacation

Does it do nothing but friggin rain in D.C.?  It sure seemed that way on the 2nd day of our vacation.  We started off by heading towards the Vietnam memorial, which really had impressed me when I visited D.C. about 6 years ago.  I thought it was something that the kids really needed to look at and appreciate.  So naturally, we get there and discover that the memorial is (get ready to hear these words a few more times):  "UNDER CONSTRUCTION".  They have roped off like 2/3 of the memorial, which needless to say throws a bit of a damper on the whole point of the exhibit.  Next we went next door to the Lincoln Memorial, which was one of the spots that Kim had really wanted to see, and she was impressed by the relative simplicity of the whole thing.  The whole "gift shop in a memorial" thing is starting to get a bit cheesy though.  Next we hit the Korean Memorial, which is very nice and headed over to the Washington Monument which....guess what?....was "UNDER CONSTRUCTION".  They were also not offering any more tours that day (it was only like 10:30am) although some guy walked up and offered to "give" his passes to the memorial to us for only $12 a pop.  The passes are free if you get there at like 7am.  Hey, he's a con artist, but he shows the initiative to get up early at least.  We respectively decline his offer.  Our next stop of the day is the National Aquarium (and who knew that the U.S. had a national aquarium?  Show of hands?  One, two, three.....oh you did not know that!  Put your hands down!) Anyway, its kind of a fun place to visit, especially if you have kids, as they pretty much had everything you could think of there and I think it cost us like $5 to get in.  Then, we followed the suggestion of a friend and went and checked out Ford's Theatre, which has been maintained fairly pristine since the night that Lincoln was shot there by....who remembers?  Anyone?
John Wilkes Booth for all of you history majors in college.
Anyway, this was another place that you wouldn't ordinarily think of to go on a tour of Washington, but its really pretty interesting and has a lot of historical facts on the crime and its aftermath.  I got a pretty good laugh though at the storyline that the museum presented that the gravely wounded president was taken across the street to a "boarding house".  Yeah, that was a boarding house alrighty.  Except, their boarders rented the rooms by the hour....if ya know what I mean and I think ya do.  We then headed to Union Station, which is a complete madhouse, to get a bit to eat.  I made the mistake of going for my old mall favorite, the bourbon chicken over rice, and the one they served here was lousy.  Next we attempted (key phrase) to walk over to the Capitol Building, which was (stop me if you've heard this one before) "UNDER CONSTRUCTION".  So, needless to say...we didn't get to see it.  Then we went over to the Library of Congress, which may have been the biggest disappointment of the vacation.  I'm totally stoked, being a bit of a book whore, at the possibility of looking at all these old books that have been around for hundreds of years...all the works of the great literary masters--Steinbeck, Hemmingway, Updike...and figured if I was REALLY, really lucky....they might have had a couple of the original Clerk's Chronicles in there, featuring my witty material!!  Ahem....well, not only did they not have those, slightly more famous writers than myself, but the whole thing is a huge ripoff!  I asked one of the tour guides, "I just want to see where all the books are", and she laughs and points me up a small flight of stairs, and I go up and find myself encased in sort of a glass booth that overlooks all the books.
From a 2nd story balcony!!  Nope, can't get near them.  Terrorists might want to get hold of them and burn them!  Damn you Al Qaida!  We ended our going to Johnny Rockets and having a really lousy grilled cheese sandwich.  I mean, really....how can you make a lousy grilled cheese sandwich??  Ask the folks at Johnny Rockets.

End of Day # 2

Exhausted--8/17/04

I must be seriously, seriously twisted.  How much do I love thee...dear reader?  Enough to take NOTES on my vacation.  Its not enough for me to merely return home and write a thoughtful column on what happened during my vacation.  NOOO!  I have to purchase a notebook while I'm there and keep a daily log of the weird shit that happened each and every day.  All this dedication and I am not receiving a dime!!!  (Ahem, feel free to make donations to:  Jeffrey Bowdren)

And we are off to Washington D.C. and surrounding areas!!

My wife.  I love her...but....she is the world's most anal retentive person when it comes to anything related to time.  If the plane is leaving 12:30pm and the airline "suggests" you arrive a couple of hours early, my wife wants to be there by 10:15am.
Me?  I'm totally happy to stroll my big ass down the tarmac at 12:10pm, but that's just me.  So I go in to work and put in a couple of hours at work and we head to the airport after parking in the "longterm" parking lot.  We parked there because the approximate fare at the Ft Lauderdale Airport lot is around $50 a day.  Okay, I exaggerate, but trust me, one day its going to cost that much and you'll look back and remember my sarcasm.  So we get on the flight, and I am totally hooked up in the fact that there is no one sitting next to me and I have an aisle seat!  I'm ready for a couple of hours of airtime, no hassles and a great start to the vacation.  And then I saw him.  The little monster that sat right in front of Kim and the kids.  He was sitting next to his sister and mother and his father was two rows behind him.  So the whole flight he would look over his seat and yell (over Kim) "Dad!  Hey Dad!"  and it was always something useless...like Dad, do you want some of my fritos or something like that.  Really stupid shit.  And the mother, well apparently she took a vicodin before the flight because we don't hear a peep out of her the whole flight, during which little Eddie Freakin Munster is jumping up and down in his chair and dropping crap on the floor, whereupon he would take far too much time to go underneath his tray and retrieve whatever he had dropped (undoubtably purposely...but I digress).  When we finally arrived in D.C., I praised Kim on her otherworldly patience, telling her in no uncertain terms that if the little bastard had been in front of me I would've hauled off and smacked him into the middle of next week.
So we're staying at the Embassy Suites in Crystal City, Virginia, which is right across the Potomac River from the capital for you geography buffs....and the hotel is, ya know, decent without being fantabulous---although the free cocktail every night is an attractive offer--until I saw they were serving like Smirnoff as their well brand of vodka.  Sheeeet.  Ya can't even spring for the good stuff?  No Grey Goose?  No Stoli Gold?  No Ketel One?
So since we arrived early on the first day, we decide to go over and check out Arlington National Cemetary.  We go to catch the Metro, which is the subway system that serves the D.C. & surrounding areas.  Really amazing system.  Totally clean and efficient, even if you do have at least one escalator at every exit that doesn't work.  The damn thing is not just underground....it is WAAAAAAAY underground.  I mean, as in Batman's cave-like underground.  I kept figuring that we would eventually run into bats.  So we're heading to the Metro...and the stop closest to our hotel is....underneath another hotel.  Well, actually its underneath the mall that's underneath the hotel.  No shit!  Underneath the Marriott is a whole friggin mall and if you go beneath that....its the subway!  So Arlington is like the 3rd stop from our motel, and its the only one that is above ground.  Well the subway comes out from beneath the ground, and all of a sudden I feel like I'm in Sonny Corleone's car at the turnpike exit cuz it sounds like the Metro train I'm on is getting shot at!  We had come out in the middle of the worst hailstorm I had ever seen!  Truly an amazing site.  I betcha a few insurance companies got phone calls that afternoon.  So we get off the train around downtown D.C. and we're sorta wandering around, and I realize that we're on Pennsylvannia Ave, where ole G.W. lives!  So naturally I assume he wants a photo op with me and begin making my way over there.  Of course, when I say that what I really mean to say is that I make my way around all the God forsaken construction that surrounds the White House grounds, which is not to be confused with all the security that surrounds the White House grounds.  Let me tell you something, if 9/11 didn't make you want to whip some Al Qaida ass, try go to Washington D.C. on a vacation and getting inconvienced by all the security those sons of bitches caused to go up.  While I was in D.C., I overheard someone remark that Al Qaida is probably financed by all the security companies making a fortune guarding everything around the nation's capital.  Anyway, enough ranting.  Back to G.W.'s house.  So its impressive and all, although not as nice as 6 years ago, when you could go up to the fence and get a better photo op.  Now you stand like a mile away.  Not that I don't understand, its just a real pain.  The real amazing part of the visit to the White House?  The squirrels.  No wait, I'm not kidding.  You should see the damn things that are running around the greater White House grounds.  They look like small dogs!  Obviously the tourists feed the little rodents well.  I betcha within the squirrel world there's a real competition to see who gets the White House.
That night we ate Tex-Mex at a place called San Antonio's, which wasn't bad and wasn't the last time we ate Tex-Mex during the vacation.  The waiter tried to screw me out of a bowl of chili---but the salsa was top notch.

End of Day # 1

8/10/04

First of all...this is my last blog for the next week or so, as I'm going on (cue the Go Go's music....) "Vacation" (..."all I ever wanted...vacation, time to get away...").  Anyway, I'll be back on Tuesday the 17th after my trip to the nation's capital and I'm sure I'll have tons of details, not only of the sights of D.C., but lots of stories about Kellie and the drama I'm sure we'll endure.  Going to hook up with my old friend the Denn-meister over the weekend for lunch.  Other than that, not much going on other than I've been sicker than a dog---ya, I know...right before fucking vacation.  I got a chance to see two new movies, one that was so-so and one that I would recommend to anyone who's a true movie fan.

The first one is Barbershop 2, which is the sequel to one of the surprise hits of last year.  Much like the first one, the best part of this one is listening to Cedric the Entertainer just rip the hell out of everyone.  Black, white,...don't make no difference.  He's an equal opportunity offender.  A black Don Rickles if you will.
The 1st one is the better movie, but this one has some funny moments, especially when dealing with the local politician who sounds an awful lot like a certain "rainbow coalition" leader.  ** 1/2

By the way, speaking of movies....I saw an utterly fantastic movie today.  Acting tour de force.  Its a movie called "Moonlight Mile" and it stars Dustin Hoffman, Susan Sarandon & Jake Gyllendahl.  Really great movie and damn, is the soundtrack ever awesome!!  I was thinking of you because the title is taken from a Stones song, and the soundtrack has stuff from Dylan, Bowie, Van Morrison, Jefferson Airplane & Robert Plant.  I'm actually thinking of going out and purchasing it--it was that good.  Lots of stuff I wasn't really familar with, but I just sat there watching it going..."man, what a great fucking song!"  Are you familar with the title song by the Stones?  Anyway, the movie is set in 1973, and Gyllendahl plays the fiancee of a young girl who's been killed.  Her parents are Hoffman & Sarandon and while they're grieving the loss of their daughter, they invite her fiancee to come stay with them for the funeral and other various matters that happen after a death.  Pretty soon, Hoffman is trying to get Gyllendahl to become his business partner and the couple is more or less trying to adopt the poor kid, who's busy coping with the loss himself, and the secret that he hasn't been able to share with his fiancee's parents....that he and the dead girl had broken off their engagement 3 days before her death.  Plus, in the meantime, he's fallen for a local girl (not sure who the actress is--but she's fantastic) who's still trying to get over the death of her boyfriend, who's MIA in Vietnam for a couple of years.  Its a real "actors" movie.  I mean, all of them have scenes that just rip at your heart as they try and cope with the loss.  That being said, its not a tearjerker, because the end of the movie is very upbeat and positive, as they each (I'm not giving anything away here) try and continue with their lives.  This is the best role Hoffman has had in like forever, and the best thing that Sarandon has done since Dead Man Walking.  I'm not crazy about her politics, but man--she is one hell of an actress, I'll give her that.  Gyllendahl is a real up and comer...as a matter of fact, watching the movie I was struck by how much the character was like a young Benjamin Braddock from the Graduate.  That's not a bad comparsion, huh?  **** 1/2 stars.   Later, Jeff   PS...so as not to start going into the top 5 of my movies and then leave you hanging, I'll complete my list when I get back......so as of now, the top 10 I started looks something like this.... 10) The Shawshank Redemption
  9) Rear Window
  8) The Outlaw Josey Wales
  7) The Godfather 1 & 2
  6) The Lord of the Rings Trilogy   that leaves us with just the top 5....and just to be a complete asshole, I'm gonna leave ya hanging.....why?  Because I can!!  Its my damn journal!!! Later, Jeff

Mainly sports related shit

Okay, all you women who read this blog can pretty much scroll down to the movie reviews, cuz I figure I can finally shoot the crap about some sports for a change.  What a great weekend in sports for me!  Start off with Greg Maddux winning his 300th game for the Cubs, Carl Eller finally going into the Hall of Fame as a Viking,  Notre Dame opening fall practice today and Brock Lesnar getting into fights on almost a daily basis during training camp for the Vikings!!  I think the Vikes may have a new cult hero!! 

Starting off with Maddux, it was great to see Greg winning the game as a Cub, all those years after that friggin bonehead Larry Himes, at the time the Chicago GM (but thankfully not anymore), decided to let Greg Maddux walk away as a free agent---mind you, this was right after Maddux had won his first Cy Young award!  I remembering reading Ryne Sandberg's biography where he talked about how Greg got an offer from the Atlanta Braves and came back to Himes and only asked him to match it--not top it.  But Himes, using that good old fashioned sense that has prevented the Cubs from winning a World Series for 96 years, told Maddux that the Cubs weren't interested and let him walk away.  Way to go Larry!!  Its not a huge coincedence that your currently not working in baseball based on that sort of logic.  So naturally Greg goes to the Braves and wins like 180 games over the course of a decade--before resigning with the Cubs this year.  Its nice to know that the Cubs finally seem to have a GM (Jim Hendry) that knows what the hell he's doing.

Carl Eller is a Hall of Famer!!  He became eligible 20 years ago, and every year since then when they would announce the inductees, I'd try and figure out the how's and why's of him NOT being inducted.   Towards the end of his career, Carl had a well documented battle with cocaine, and I'm sure that had something to do with the delay in his becoming a member.  Any Hall of Fame with Lawrence Taylor, a guy who is STILL battling his demons, surely has room for Carl Eller, a guy who not only has conquered them but is helping others in their struggle also.  The "Moose" was a great performer for the Vikings for 15 years, 6 of them as an all-pro, and his enshrinement is WAY overdue.

Well, the Fighting Irish arrive today to begin fall practice in South Bend.  This should be an interesting year, to say the least, for Notre Dame.  This is Ty Willingham's 3rd year as head coach, which historically is very significant at Notre Dame, as every coach who has ever carried the mantle of greatness at Notre Dame has won a national title in his 3rd year.  Rockne, Leahy, Paraseighn, Devine & Holtz all won a national title in their 3rd year.  That is the standard to reach for at Notre Dame, and I have to figure at a minimum that Willingham needs to go to a New Year's Day bowl to keep the wolves at bay.  Keep this in mind.  The president that hired Willingham is retiring in June (thank God!) and when a new president comes in, they usually like to put their stamp on things rather quickly.  I figure that if the Irish have any sort of  "substandard" year (and I realize that the standards at ND are different than any place else) that Willingham will be on a one year leash.  He's got to get the Irish to a BCS game either this year or next, or its time to look for a new coach.  So much of what Ty stands for and represents is exactly what the school is looking for....and yet there are a lot of questions as to whether or not he's ever going to be good enough to pacify the alumni and fan base of Notre Dame (including yours truly).  There are plenty of questions about his ability as a recruiter and a gameday coach, and especially in regards to some of his assistant coaches, but I think that Notre Dame is going to be in position where they essentially have to let Ty either succeed or fail on his own.  With a new president coming in in June of 2005, Ty needs to get his shit together and start winning.  That alone will cure a lot of "what ails ya" in South Bend.  My preview of the '04 Irish and college football will be forthcoming in future editions of your favorite blog.

Well my Vikings seem to be causing quite the stir this summer, as their newest free agent acquisition, Brock Lesnar was the center of a few rumbles in a scrimmage with the Kansas City Chiefs.  What I love about the whole thing is when they asked Brock about it, he's totally unapologetic about the it.  This is the kind of attitude that can only help the Vikings this year, especially on defense.  I want to see the "D" with a chip on their shoulder!  Saw Joh Clayton on ESPN and he reported that the defense looks like it has tremendous quickness on the line and at LB...and the pickup of Antoine Wingfield at CB seems to have picked up the play of everyone in the defensive backfield.  Also going to do a preview of the Vikes and the rest of the NFL, so look for that also.

OKAY WOMEN!!  You can stop scrolling now...let's talk some about movies.  Last night Kim & I watched "50 First Dates" with Adam Sandler & Drew Barrymore.  I suppose since it has the same two stars, you would have to compare it to "The Wedding Singer", and I think that's the better movie of the two.  I think that there are a couple of problems with the movie.  First of all, even though he's not playing his traditional role of the "angry guy" in this movie, his character is not a real likeable guy.  He basically screws around with tourists visiting Hawaii, where he works as (try not to laugh) a veteranarian.  He has big fun getting the animals to violently throw up on his co-worker (naturally an ugly east German looking type who offers herself up to a disinterested Sandler) and preparing for his trip aboard his yacht to Alaska to study "the deepsea underwater habits of the walrus".  Huh???  He tries to redeem himself when he falls for Drew Barrymore, who suffers from shorterm memory loss in a plot storyline that is so convoluted you have to see it to believe it.  And there is the spectacularly unfunny appearence (yet again) of Rob Schneider.  This guy should kneel down before God himself and thank him for making Adam Sandler his friend, because that's the only reason he gets work.  I'm amazed this is the same Rob Schneider who made Deuce Bigelow, Male Gigolo--one of the really hilarious stupid movies of the last few years.  Comedies can be divided in too a couple of different catergories....You got your "true comedies" like Blazing Saddles, Caddyshack, Slapshot, Animal House, Fast Times at Ridgemont High....and then you have your "stupid comedies"....the ones that are incredibly stupid, but their still funny in spite of it all.  That would include Deuce Bigelow, Tommy Boy, Ace Ventura.....that sort of stuff.  Well Schneider made Bigelow, a stupid movie if ever there was one ("I am a man whore"), yet absolutely hilarious.....and I swear the guy hasn't done one funny thing since then.  "The Animal"?  UGH  And I can't even think of that movie's name where he switches bodies with a cheerleader....terrible.  But because he's friends with Adam Sandler, and because the rest of America is convinced that Adam Sandler is some sort of comedic genius, Rob Schneider keeps getting work.  This time he portrays (I'm not making this up) a native Hawaiian (complete with horrendous accent---seriously, this may be the offensive portrayal of an ethnic culture since Mickey Rooney was turned into a Japanese guy in "Breakfast at Tiffany's") with a bad eye and a bunch of impossibly cute kids.  Whew!  That's the bad part....now, let's talk up what's good about the movie.
I'll say this about Drew Barrymore.  She's seems like she's (in real life) one of these typical Hollywood kooks---sort of a new millinieum Goldie Hawn.  But in her movies, she has a way of making herself really endearing.  I mean, I actually enjoyed "Evermore" and "First Kiss" (I didn't bother with Charlie's Angels--even I have limits).  She has the cute way of really making you care about the characters she portrays.  And she does it here again.  The girl with short term memory loss who forgets everything that happens the day before.  And Sean Astin (oh c'mon--ya know--Sean Astin??!!??  Hello!!  RUDY!!  Oh yeah, he was also one of the main characters in a little series called The Lord of the Rings) is really pretty funny as Drew's brother, who won't admit that he's "on the juice" and trying to win the local bodybuilding contest, despite his apparent lack of muscles and noticeable lisp.  All these things make the movie a decided mixed bag.  Barrymore & Astin are quite good in their performances, but the rest of the Sandler Actor's Studio is their usual weak selves.  By that I mean, as you watch the film, you'll probably spot about 3 or 4 other actors who have been in most of  Sandler's movies.  ** stars.

Finally we get to my top 10 films:  Let's review so far--

10) The Shawshank Redemption
  9) Rear Window
  8) The Outlaw Josey Wales
  7) The Godfather 1 & 2
  6) The Lord of the Rings Trilogy--I remember when I was a junior in high school, and I went with my mom to the mall one day.  I was poking around the sci-fi//fantasy section and stumbled upon a book called "The Sword of Shannara".  It was written by a guy named Terry Brooks, who has since written about 10 other "Shannara" books.  I really wasn't aware of Tolkien and his Lord of the Rings series, but the Shannara book was about as close to a retelling of the story as you could get without being sued for plagarism.  And I ended up re-reading that book about 7 or 8 times over the last 25 years.  Last year I passed it on to my son to enjoy.  And I'd read it and in my mind I'd try and imagine what it would be like if they turned it into a movie.  And a few years ago, word came out that a relatively unknown director named Peter Jackson had been handed the reigns of the series and told to make it into an epic movie.  NewLine films basically staked their company's entire future on the success or failure of the movie.  Finally, after a few years in New Zealand, making all 3 of the movies at once, Jackson and his crew emerged with the first in the series, "The Fellowship of the Ring", which would be followed by "The Two Towers" and finally "The Return of the King".  I remember watching the first movie and literally sitting in the theatre with my mouth open in amazement at the epic story and film that unfolded before me.  Now, I understand that the whole Lord of the Rings thing is something that you either get...or you don't.  You either like this sort of thing...or you could care less.  If you get it, you know that this will now and always be the standard by which the term "epic film" will be judged.  Truly breathtaking filmmaking and a series I could easily watch over and over and over again.  *****

Later,

Jeff

 

8/6/04

Well, its been an interesting end to the week for sure.  It started on Thursday morning, when we went up before Judge Collins for the hearing on the adoption.  We were joined by approximately 10 to 15 people for the hearing, including Mom & Dad and my judge.  It went very quickly and was essentially a formality.  I'm proud to be a dad now!!  Their names are now Andy & Kellie Poe-Bowdren!!  I suppose now the real fun begins.  I stayed at work until about lunch time and then we all met up at Chili's for lunch.  We surprised Kim with the old birthday song and a piece of cake.  UGH!  We had truly just begun to eat.  We went back to our house, hung out for a few hours and then went out for our adoption//birthday dinner at Buca De Bepo.  It was another total chowfest with everyone sharing portions of chicken parm, manacotti, chicken marsala & spaghetti.  They did a great skit for Kim's birthday where the waiter came out with a candlebra and had everyone in our section sing to Kim.  It was pretty funny.  Before we rolled ourselves home, we took my parents on a drive down A1A to show them the way that Ft Lauderdale beach has changed since they lived here.  This morning I got up and went to work for a totally unimportant meeting, did about 3 hours of work and headed for home.  I served as Mom & Dad's tour guide for the afternoon as they wanted to drive over to Plantation and get a look at the old homestead and we stopped for lunch at Red Lobster (MMMM!  Biscuits!).  I don't think the two of them were real impressed with how Plantation has changed.  Can't say that I blame them for that.  Back home for a little relaxation and then we went and saw Andy get presented with his brown belt in tae-kwan do.  He did a presentation for all the parents present, since he was the highest belt being graded.  Really amazing how he's progressed.  After that, we went and picked up Mom & Dad for....you guessed it...more eating (I'm going to be bigger than freakin Oprah by the time the weekend's over)...this time we stopped at Outback.  Good Lord...just get me home and let me recover from all the food.  Dropped Mom & Dad back at the hotel.  We had a super visit with them.  I think they were (and are) very proud to call Andy & Kellie their new grandkids.  And I think the kids are happy to have a new set of grandparents.  Especially with the gifts they got after the adoption   :)

Time for our continuing look at my top 10 movies of alltime.  Let's review so far:

10) The Shawshank Redemption
  9) Rear Window
  8) Outlaw Josey Wales
  7) The Godfather 1 & 2--hey, so I cheated a little bit.  I'd call it "The Godfather Saga", except comparatively speaking the 3rd movie is so friggin awful that to mention it would bring down the list.  Actually its only terrible in comparasion to the other two movies in the series.  Its not really horrible, its just that the first two are so good.  The 3rd one features a strong performance by Pacino & Andy Garcia, but is really hurt by the performance in a key role by a then film neophyte Sofia Coppola.
Anyway, back to the first two movies in the trilogy.  I would say that 90 to 95% of guys who do lists like this will include these two movies in their top 10.  Besides the great performances by actors like Marlon Brando, Pacino, Robert Duvall, Robert DeNiro, James Caan and others....there are the scenes and the quotes that some people take almost as codes to life.

"Never, ever go against the family Fredo."

"Leave the gun...bring the canoli."

Both movies are excellent but together they are film history.  The definitive look at crime and the american immigrant.  *****

Later,

Jeff

8/4/04

Well, its the evening before the first day of the rest of my life.  Tomorrow morning I officially become a "dad", after doing so (I guess) unofficially for a little over 5 years.

The proverbial myriad of emotions.  Who knows why?  Eager, nervous, calm...I've spent the evening being a little of all those things and more.  I suppose I just want everything to go okay.  I've been thinking a lot about what I'm undertaking.  I really have a sense of pride, while at the same time understanding that, God forbid, if anything ever happened to Kim....all of a sudden the ball is in my court!!  Holy shit!  Actual parental responsibility!  Do I go to a class for this?  Is there a handbook?  Can I at least buy a magazine with abbreviated tips?  Or...should I just go by what's got me this far?  Actual daily experiences with Andy & Kellie...trying to teach them what's right & what's wrong...trying to prep them for the road ahead.  In other words...doing the exact same things my parents did for me.

Andy is really starting to get big and hopefully the "light is beginning to come on" as he gets ready to start high school.  I hope I've made an impact on him--positively of course.  Kellie is my little drama queen, and I suppose I'm especially looking forward to being her dad.  Ever since the first month Kim & I began to date, and Kellie began screaming at a restaurant "I want a daddy!" I've been waiting for this day.  Actually, I've been waiting for longer than that.  Actually I've been waiting for the opportunity to be dad to a little girl since the spring of 1986, when I seperated from the former Mrs. Me # 1.  It was at that time that I waved goodbye to someone very special and important in my life.  No, not my ex-wife.  But what made it especially hard was saying goodbye to my stepdaughter, who at the time was around 2 years old and truly the light of my life.  Over the course of the last 18 years I've thought about her a lot...wondering how she is, where she is...what kind of person has she become?  How would she be different if her mother and I had remained married?  How did I walk away from her without fighting more?  How did I allow her mother to just tell me "you can't see her anymore"?  And now, 18 years after that she looms in the back of head....like the proverbial "splinter in the mind's eye".  So I've waited, and hoped....and finally...after blowing my chance to be the dad to a little girl all those years ago...I get a 2nd chance.  I actually talked about this with Kellie one night when we were driving....I told her about that little girl all those years ago and the hole it left inside of me, and how I hoped I wouldn't blow this chance I had been given.  She looked at me and said:

"I don't think you'll blow it this time."

I'm looking forward to being her dad.  To being Andy's dad.  To being "a dad".

Time once again to get back to my top 10 movie choices....I hope you've been following along at home...but if you haven't been....here's the list so far:

10) The Shawshank Redemption
  9) Rear Window

  8) The Outlaw Josey Wales---now here we have one of the quintessential "guy movies" of the last couple of decades.  Clint Eastwood had made his series of "spaghetti westerns" in the late 60's & early 70's and with this effort returned to the western genre with a tale of a Missouri farmer who's family is brutally murdered by a roving gang of Union soldiers.  Besides the fact that its a great story, wonderfully told....what most guys will love about the movie is that there are probably more great lines in this movie than you'll find in 10 other great movies.
"I guess you'd be the hired killer."
"Man's gotta make a living..."
"Dieing ain't much of a living....boy."

"We gonna bury 'em Josey?"
"Nope...buzzards gotta eat...same as the worms."

Just a great movie about revenge and whether gaining that revenge can really give you the satisfaction you search for.  A great, great western.  *****

8/2/04

I'm tired as hell...just seemed like one of those days at work that would never end.  We washed out of trials, so I was screwed with getting in additional comp time to use on Thursday.  Andy Poe went for his brown belt tonite and nailed it.  Very proud.  I can really see him beginning to grow into a young man.  We had a movie night tonight with the kids.  I can't tell you what it was because it's one of my top 10's of alltime and that would be spoiling the list for you! 

The Vikings finally got their final draft pick into camp.  Everyone's signed and in camp practicing.  That's a good sign and it bodes well for the upcoming season.  I read an interesting little blurb on one of the message boards that said that last year Mike Tice and George O'Leary were basically not speaking to one another after the 6th game of the year, which might account for some of the collapse of the team last year.  If that's true, well its a damn good thing we've got a new d-coordinator.

Notre Dame starts fall practice in less than a week.  Yesssss!

Alrighty...for you movie fans...let's continue that personal top 10 of mine for your reading pleasure...tonight, we'll examine my # 9 film of alltime, while reminding you what's on the list so far.......

10) The Shawshank Redemption
  9) Rear Window....Alfred  Hitchcock's take on voyerism, nosey dogs, murder and drop dead gorgeous blondes (a recurring theme in Hitchcock's movies).  As usual with Hitch, there's a touch of dark humor in this one, most of it supplied by Theresa Ritter, as Jimmy Stewart's therapist.  Grace Kelly, looking absolutely luminous, is the girlfriend that Stewart can't decide whether he should marry (obviously a man with very little common sense).  Stewart plays a photographer, apparently one of some reknown, who is busy recovering from injuries in the middle of a scorching New York City summer.  He's confined to a wheelchair, and occupies himself by looking out his "rear window" into the courtyard of his apartment complex and becoming involved on a visceral level in the lives of his neighbors.  One who immediately comes to his attention is a Mr. Lars Thorsen, played by a virtually unrecognizeable Raymond Burr (seriously, you won't believe its Perry Freakin Mason).  Mr. Thorsen's wife seems to have disappeared, and in a slowly building hour of suspense, Stewart and the two women inhis life (Kelly & Ritter) manage to convince themselves that something terribly wrong has happened to Mrs. Thorsen's.  Stewart does his usual stellar work, Kelly is beautiful (one thing Hitch knew how to do was to put his blonde leading ladies in a positive light), Ritter is a hoot, and Burr is very solid as the neighbor who's either very befuddled or very sinister (which one is it exactly?).  This is also a great "looking" film.  I mean, the colors are so vivid, its just a joy to look at.  And dammit all if you don't find yourself getting caught up in the lives of Stewart's neighbors, just like he does.   *****

Later,

Jeff

8/1/04

Busy weekend...Kim & I decided to take the kids up to Orlando early on Saturday morning for my father's 76th birthday.  He seemed really surprised to see us pop up in the house.  My brother & sister were both there with their families, and it made for a really nice day.  We got there about 11am and left about 4pm.  About a 3 hour drive both ways, but it really made dad's day, so it was worth it.

Today was a totally rainy day.  I mean, it started at about 1pm and it must have kept going until after 6pm.  I took advantage of some alone time and watched the WWE Hall of Fame induction ceremonies...really, really good.  The sort of thing that is best appreciated by longtime fans, as new fans will be left wondering who the old guys were.  While I was doing that, in order to avoid sending my blood pressure through the roof I taped the Cubs game today.  Greg Maddux was going for his 300th win and the Cubs welcomed Nomar Garciaparra to the lineup.  Wow!  What a great trade as the Cubs lineup looks really solid top to bottom.  I even got a call from my old friend Dave Flaherty, who came out of the woodwork to congratulate me on the pickup.  Sosa, Alou, Ramirez, Garciaparra, & Lee.  That's 5 guys in the lineup with 30 HR a season type of power.  The only thing they really have seemed to have given up was a young pitcher named Justin Jones who was a very highly thought of prospect...but at least the Cubs are deep in pitching prospects, so it wasn't like he was our only pitcher.  While that was going on......HELLO August!!  And when the 8th month of the year rolls around, it means one thing especially!!  Football is in the air and its coming.  The Vikings opened camp officially yesterday, and the good news is that their # 1 draft pick was signed and in camp.  The bad news was that their # 2 pick is still unsigned and its look contentious...and its at a position that the Vikes are especially thin at (LB).  I know I usually close the week out with a few movie reviews, but unfortunately this has been a rather quiet week for me in the film department.  Earlier in the week I finally got around to watching the Italian Job with Mark Wahlberg, Edward Norton & Charlize Theron.  Lots of fun and a good heist film.  I didn't really care for Norton in his role, which wasn't really fleshed out as much as it could've been.  That being said, there's nothing wrong with the movie and its not a bad way to kill 2 hours.  ***

Some people like to keep top 10 lists in their heads of their favorite films and I'm no different.  So tonight, I'll start giving you my "exclusive list" one film at a time and what it is about the movie that I think is so great.  My personal top ten can flucuate from time to time, and sometimes my # 9 or 10 film may drop out for a little while to be replaced by a film that might be right on the cusp of the list.  Some of the movies that come oh so close but don't quite make it (at least this week) include:

The Usual Suspect
The Best Years of Our Lives
Slapshot
Caddyshack
Dark City
Heat
Pulp Fiction
Ronin

However...now let me start with my own personal top 10....(drumroll please)...ladies and gentlemen...for your perusal....at number 10......

10) Shawshank Redemption--if you're a guy and you don't love this movie, you're a total homo (not that there's anything wrong with that).  Tim Robbins & Morgan Freeman in the now famous drama about life in a prison in Maine from the 1940's all the way up until the early 1970's.  Fabulously narrated by Freeman, its the story of one man's struggle to retain his humanity and sense of self-worth while inside an inhumane facility filled with deceit, betrayal, violence and a system that stifles and suffocates any attempt at individuality.  Memorable scenes abound:  Andy Dufrene sneaks into the warden's office and plays an opera record for the boys in the yard, the horrible loneliness of James Whitmore after being released from prison into a world he doesn't understand, the look on the warden's face when the rock goes through Raquel Welch's face on the poster, Andy emerging from the drain in the middle of a rainstorm...certainly symbolic of Andy literally being "reborn"....and the final scene of the movie (I won't give it away)....the "redemption" of one man's soul. You don't have to be a guy to love this movie (but it doesn't hurt).   *****

Jeff