So its time for Kellie's first driving lesson, and, in keeping with proud Bowdren family tradition....I take her to the parking lot near our house. Hey, its the way I started with Dad all the way back around 1976 (AAAAAHHHH!!). So I stop the car, get out and Kellie RUNS over to the driver's seat. She's nothing if not enthused, I'll give her that.
And again, in keeping with family tradition, I have her fix the rear view mirrors, adjust the seat and steering wheel, put her foot on the brake pedal to get an idea of how much pressure it would take, tell her to.....HEY! What are those two Coral Springs police officers doing on bicycles circling the lot for? And hey! Why are they coming over here? Ya know.....by where we are??!!!???
Maybe they thought we were a couple of teenagers in the car....ya know. (That should be enough to get an OH GROSS from my daughter) So they pull up next to us and I roll down the window.
"First driving lesson?" one of them asks me with a smile on his face.
"Yep," I reply, "and don't worry...its not like you two being here is putting any PRESSURE on her or anything!"
They both laughed and drove off. Now where were we? Oh yeah. I had Kellie put her foot on the gas pedal SLOWLY to get an idea of how fast the car would accelerate.
And then....slowly.....very very slowly....with her foot not on the gas or the brake....
we began to move forward. And we circled the parking lot a couple of times....just to get an idea of what being behind the wheel was like. And then I had her practice her first turn into a parking spot (the lot was empty by the way). She hung the slow right into the parking spot, as I told her to imagine that every spot in the lot was taken....except the one she was pulling into.
"How'd I do?" she asked.
"Not bad," I said...."you only hit the imaginary car on the left. But its a start."
We kept it up for about a half an hour. We drove up and down an alley way behind some closed businesses, and Kellie very proudly managed to drive past 3 parked cars.
I told her a story of my first driving lesson. My father and I were in the empty parking lot behind the Landmark Bank (remember Dad?). The time came when Dad let me drive out of the parking lot onto the road (for about 75 yards) and then pull back into the parking lot formore parking attempts. While I was on the road, there were three cars that were on the other side of the road, going in the opposite direction. When I got home, my Mom asked how I did.
"I passed three cars Mom!"
"Larry! Where did you take him to drive??"
So in Kellie's mind, she had now "passed" three cars. Parked ones, but she did it without managing to hit even one of them--and that counts as a success. We finished up our lesson (no more sign of the cops, thank God) and I let Kellie pull the car onto the road by our house and drive the car to where our driveway was located. I told her that I would pull the car into the driveway, since one mistake and the car she would be hitting would BE MINE. So she stops the car in the road, with a car directly behind us, gets out...and ya know....leaves the door open as the other car is passing.
Like I said, she's enthusiastic.
I told her another story from my early driving days. My Dad had let me start driving in the neighborhood, just testing me to see how I handle the new task. So we're driving down the road and I think I'm doing a pretty good job. My Dad taps me on the shoulder.
"Uh, son......you in a hurry?"
I then reminded Kellie that the most important pedal on the car......was the brake--not the accelerator.
Later,
Jeff
Friday, March 21, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
3/19/08---Kellie Poe-Bowdren---LICENSED DRIVER!!!!!!!!
You know how when your younger and you're out doing all those things that years later you will be embarrassed to admit? Ya know, those things that these days make you shake your head either with pride or because of how stupid you were?
Yep, well, those are the things that when you get teenagers, you will hear that little inner-voice mentioning things like "the sins of your past have come back to roost" and things like that.
I'm the parent of a teenager driver. (Does that sound like the opening to an AA meeting?) Yes indeed, our very own Kellie got the license after taking her test--online.
With only a modicum of help from Mom & Dad. She was going to pick up her license at the old DMV last Friday, so the day before I took her and her current boyfriend, the dreaded Cory, down to the Broward County Medical Examiner's Office. Once about every 3 months, County Judge Joel Lazarus hosts what is called the Young Offender Program. Its designed specifically for those driver's under 25, most of whom have been busted for a DUI...and is basically the M.E.'s version of Scared Straight. I figured taking my daughter and her young boyfriend, who will be getting his permanent D/L in the next month or two to get a look at some grim reality couldn't hurt.
Kim joined us as the session began with a talk and slide show from an emergency room nurse, who described in graphic detail the agony that driver's injured in car accidents go through in the ER, including showing some rather graphic photos of accident victims.
She was followed by one of the doctors at the medical examiner's office, who grabbed the attention of the crowd right off the bat:
"I'm a rarity for a doctor. None of my patients will ever talk to me, and I will never talk to them. If you ever have me for a doctor.....it will mean that you are dead."
I could say Kellie's head sort of jerk up--her attention was gotten. The doctor then showed the really, really graphic photos. Headless corpses, victims with horrific cases of mutalization or amputation. And he did it with this direct, matter of fact approach.
And all the victims had two things in common: Impairment....and no seat belts.
I found myself glancing over to Kellie to see what sort of impact was being made.
She and Cory had the eyes wide open in horror look on their faces.
The doctor was followed by a deputy on the county's DUI task force, who spoke of what it was like having to go to a young driver's home and inform parents that their children would not be coming home. I looked at the young girl in front of me, who was attending with her mother...and who at moment was text messaging a friend with her cellphone.
Finally there was another deputy, who spoke not as a deputy, but as a victim--amazingly--of three seperate DUI driver's. She spoke of once being trapped in a car with her sister and actually watching the impaired driver standing by his car laughing.
After the course was over we thanked the judge for the presentation and then my wife made a somewhat startling announcement. The ER nurse...the first speaker? She had been on duty some 12 years ago when my wife was brought into the emergency room--the night her first husband, my kid's father, had died in a car accident. She remembered her voice.
Small world indeed.
So after the presentation we went out with Kellie & Cory and had some dinner. I asked them as we were waiting for dinner what they had thought, telling them that if they thought it was a waste of time that they could tell me.
"I didn't want to go at first," Kellie said, "but I'm glad you took me. I don't think I ever want to have a drink as long as I live."
"The doctor was the best speaker," Cory told me, "he was, I dunno, so blunt about it.
Sort of woke you up."
Yep. My own days of choosing to ignore the seat belt are done. They sold me.
Later,
Jeff
Tomorrow.....Kellie Poe-Bowdren: Driving Lesson #1--and why are the police coming towards our car??
Yep, well, those are the things that when you get teenagers, you will hear that little inner-voice mentioning things like "the sins of your past have come back to roost" and things like that.
I'm the parent of a teenager driver. (Does that sound like the opening to an AA meeting?) Yes indeed, our very own Kellie got the license after taking her test--online.
With only a modicum of help from Mom & Dad. She was going to pick up her license at the old DMV last Friday, so the day before I took her and her current boyfriend, the dreaded Cory, down to the Broward County Medical Examiner's Office. Once about every 3 months, County Judge Joel Lazarus hosts what is called the Young Offender Program. Its designed specifically for those driver's under 25, most of whom have been busted for a DUI...and is basically the M.E.'s version of Scared Straight. I figured taking my daughter and her young boyfriend, who will be getting his permanent D/L in the next month or two to get a look at some grim reality couldn't hurt.
Kim joined us as the session began with a talk and slide show from an emergency room nurse, who described in graphic detail the agony that driver's injured in car accidents go through in the ER, including showing some rather graphic photos of accident victims.
She was followed by one of the doctors at the medical examiner's office, who grabbed the attention of the crowd right off the bat:
"I'm a rarity for a doctor. None of my patients will ever talk to me, and I will never talk to them. If you ever have me for a doctor.....it will mean that you are dead."
I could say Kellie's head sort of jerk up--her attention was gotten. The doctor then showed the really, really graphic photos. Headless corpses, victims with horrific cases of mutalization or amputation. And he did it with this direct, matter of fact approach.
And all the victims had two things in common: Impairment....and no seat belts.
I found myself glancing over to Kellie to see what sort of impact was being made.
She and Cory had the eyes wide open in horror look on their faces.
The doctor was followed by a deputy on the county's DUI task force, who spoke of what it was like having to go to a young driver's home and inform parents that their children would not be coming home. I looked at the young girl in front of me, who was attending with her mother...and who at moment was text messaging a friend with her cellphone.
Finally there was another deputy, who spoke not as a deputy, but as a victim--amazingly--of three seperate DUI driver's. She spoke of once being trapped in a car with her sister and actually watching the impaired driver standing by his car laughing.
After the course was over we thanked the judge for the presentation and then my wife made a somewhat startling announcement. The ER nurse...the first speaker? She had been on duty some 12 years ago when my wife was brought into the emergency room--the night her first husband, my kid's father, had died in a car accident. She remembered her voice.
Small world indeed.
So after the presentation we went out with Kellie & Cory and had some dinner. I asked them as we were waiting for dinner what they had thought, telling them that if they thought it was a waste of time that they could tell me.
"I didn't want to go at first," Kellie said, "but I'm glad you took me. I don't think I ever want to have a drink as long as I live."
"The doctor was the best speaker," Cory told me, "he was, I dunno, so blunt about it.
Sort of woke you up."
Yep. My own days of choosing to ignore the seat belt are done. They sold me.
Later,
Jeff
Tomorrow.....Kellie Poe-Bowdren: Driving Lesson #1--and why are the police coming towards our car??
Monday, March 10, 2008
3/10/08--who doesn't love a good Steven Seagal movie??
So I was watching a Seagal movie today...and it got me thinking....what makes a great Seagal movie...ya know....great? Here's what I think.
All right, we're all secret Seagal fans--and of course I refer only to the "early" Steve, not the portly-covered-up-by-the-full-length-leather-coat
guy in all those most recent movies.
So what's your choice?
1) Above the Law--big Steve as "Nico Toscani", the former CIA operative who out to catch not only corrupt government officials, but Henry Silva as the crazy Latin guy in a role that he had played previously for Chuck Norris (Code of Silence) and Burt Reynolds (Sharkey's Machine).
Great cast, with Silva, Pam Grier and a young Sharon Stone in the thankless role of Big Steve's wife, who brings out the softer side of Steve.
2) Hard to Kill--big Steve plays "Mason Storm" (does that sound like a porn name or what?), who is an undercover cop who is the victim of an attempted assassination, which kills his wife and sends big Steve to the "Los Angeles Coma Center" for SEVEN YEARS. Big Steve is helped out at the Coma Center by the hot Kelly LeBrock (future Mrs. Big Steve in real life), who somehow manages to keep Steve looking tanned and borderline Christ-like in appearence, all the while pulling his covers down, checking out big Steve's package and remarking "you have so much to live for". (Which might be my personal choice for the ultimate writing asskiss in the history of film). William Sadler is a pretty good co-star, but he ain't no Henry Silva.
3) Marked for Death--big Steve plays John Hatcher (most boring Seagal name...ever), a retired DEA agent who comes home to find his neighborhood rife with members of the Jamaican posse!! Best part of the movie is the over-the-top performance by the actor who plays "Screwface". Biggest name in support of big Steve is Keith David, veteran character actor--that's not a good sign in a Steve movie.
4) Out for Justice--big Steve plays Gino Fellino
(and we're back in good name form!!), a tough Brooklyn cop from "da neighborhood" who walks that fine line between being a tough cop and looking the other way at the local mob guys.
Well, that's until William Forsythe, in perhaps his greatest role ever, kills big Steve's friend "Bobby Lupo". Its a race against time as Steve has to hand out his brand of justice before the mob. Besides Forsythe, big Steve is also ably supported by a young and delightfully trashy looking Gina Gershon--not that there's anything wrong with that. Movie is immortalized by the classic line:
"Anybody seen Richie?? Anybody know why Richie wacked Bobby Lupo?"
5) Under Siege--big Steve is Casy Ryback, former Navy Seal now serving as a cook on a Navy ship.
(Don't ask) Here he goes big budget with a terrific action film set on aboard a Navy destroyer! Our hero is ably supported by Tommy Lee Jones & Gary Busey, playing...here's a surprise, a psycho. What a career stretch for Busey. Terrific action film, and some just-for-the-hell-of-it nudity by Erika Eliniak, former Baywatch babe. Big Steve's immortal line?
"I'm just a cook!"
6) Under Siege 2--big Steve returns as Casey Ryback, this time riding on a train that's hijacked by a group of terrorists//former military guys, lead by veteran character Everett McGill and a wildly over-the-top Eric Bogosian, in his best work since Talk Radio. And, a little bonus for you trivia fans, big Steve's nubile young niece? Katherine Heigel, who became a big star last year in Knocked Up.
Now, after these 6 classics, we entered into the fatter Steve era, complete with either an excuse for his weight gain or some noble cause (See:
On Deadly Ground & Fire Down Below)
Oh, and Executive Decision does not count, because that was really Kurt Russell's movie and let's face it, everyone cheered when big Steve got killed in that movie anyway.
So which one of the big six is your fav...and why?
Jeff
All right, we're all secret Seagal fans--and of course I refer only to the "early" Steve, not the portly-covered-up-by-the-full-length-leather-coat
guy in all those most recent movies.
So what's your choice?
1) Above the Law--big Steve as "Nico Toscani", the former CIA operative who out to catch not only corrupt government officials, but Henry Silva as the crazy Latin guy in a role that he had played previously for Chuck Norris (Code of Silence) and Burt Reynolds (Sharkey's Machine).
Great cast, with Silva, Pam Grier and a young Sharon Stone in the thankless role of Big Steve's wife, who brings out the softer side of Steve.
2) Hard to Kill--big Steve plays "Mason Storm" (does that sound like a porn name or what?), who is an undercover cop who is the victim of an attempted assassination, which kills his wife and sends big Steve to the "Los Angeles Coma Center" for SEVEN YEARS. Big Steve is helped out at the Coma Center by the hot Kelly LeBrock (future Mrs. Big Steve in real life), who somehow manages to keep Steve looking tanned and borderline Christ-like in appearence, all the while pulling his covers down, checking out big Steve's package and remarking "you have so much to live for". (Which might be my personal choice for the ultimate writing asskiss in the history of film). William Sadler is a pretty good co-star, but he ain't no Henry Silva.
3) Marked for Death--big Steve plays John Hatcher (most boring Seagal name...ever), a retired DEA agent who comes home to find his neighborhood rife with members of the Jamaican posse!! Best part of the movie is the over-the-top performance by the actor who plays "Screwface". Biggest name in support of big Steve is Keith David, veteran character actor--that's not a good sign in a Steve movie.
4) Out for Justice--big Steve plays Gino Fellino
(and we're back in good name form!!), a tough Brooklyn cop from "da neighborhood" who walks that fine line between being a tough cop and looking the other way at the local mob guys.
Well, that's until William Forsythe, in perhaps his greatest role ever, kills big Steve's friend "Bobby Lupo". Its a race against time as Steve has to hand out his brand of justice before the mob. Besides Forsythe, big Steve is also ably supported by a young and delightfully trashy looking Gina Gershon--not that there's anything wrong with that. Movie is immortalized by the classic line:
"Anybody seen Richie?? Anybody know why Richie wacked Bobby Lupo?"
5) Under Siege--big Steve is Casy Ryback, former Navy Seal now serving as a cook on a Navy ship.
(Don't ask) Here he goes big budget with a terrific action film set on aboard a Navy destroyer! Our hero is ably supported by Tommy Lee Jones & Gary Busey, playing...here's a surprise, a psycho. What a career stretch for Busey. Terrific action film, and some just-for-the-hell-of-it nudity by Erika Eliniak, former Baywatch babe. Big Steve's immortal line?
"I'm just a cook!"
6) Under Siege 2--big Steve returns as Casey Ryback, this time riding on a train that's hijacked by a group of terrorists//former military guys, lead by veteran character Everett McGill and a wildly over-the-top Eric Bogosian, in his best work since Talk Radio. And, a little bonus for you trivia fans, big Steve's nubile young niece? Katherine Heigel, who became a big star last year in Knocked Up.
Now, after these 6 classics, we entered into the fatter Steve era, complete with either an excuse for his weight gain or some noble cause (See:
On Deadly Ground & Fire Down Below)
Oh, and Executive Decision does not count, because that was really Kurt Russell's movie and let's face it, everyone cheered when big Steve got killed in that movie anyway.
So which one of the big six is your fav...and why?
Jeff
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