So tomorrow, my daughter Kellie is going in for what is, I'm told, a relatively minor operation on her hip to repair a torn labrum. I say "relatively minor" of course, while totally realizing that anything more than a dental filling would be considered major surgery to my daughter and 90% of the rest of the teenagers out there. The problem is, quite frankly....my daughter is a HUGE....and let me re-emphasize this....HUGE, drama queen. Headache? Must be a tumor. Cut finger? Is surgery going to be necessary?
Stub your toe? Amputation. And you think I'm joking. No sir-ree Bob.
Which made the fact that, the other day, Kellie hurt her back all the more aggravating.
Apparently a friend of hers was joking around--totally unintentional--and caused Kellie to slip and twist her back slightly. They did a report at her school, notified Kim and Kellie walked into the house that night walking as though she could barely move. I very coyly (that's me!!) didn't mention anything about it so as to not play into her efforts to be nominated for an Academy Award for best dramatic performance by a teenager. But I digress. A couple of days go by, Kellie is in some minor discomfort--nothing extraordinary, just some stiffness---and then she wakes up this morning. The morning BEFORE her surgery on her hip....and announces that she is having trouble moving.
I mean...as in, AT ALL. After a long wait (well, longer than USUAL), she emerges from her bedroom for the ride to her bus walking like a cross between Frankenstein and CP30 from Star Wars. Again, I say nothing and we walk to the car. She gets in, either feeling extreme discomfort or really laying on the performance thickly.....sort of a last minute plea to the Academy...ya know?
"Ya know Kellie," I say with a voice dripping with sympathy, "I don't think you're being quite melodramatic enough."
No response.
So about two hours later I'm at work and I get a call from the wife, asking me if I can go to the kids school and pick up Kellie. Apparently, after her arrival on school grounds, she was driven---by golfcart--to the school nurse, who informed her mother that after asking Kellie to describe her pain level on a scale of 1 to 10...Kellie uttered in hush tones:
"TEN!"
Seriously, this girl is not my daughter by blood and somedays I don't understand how.
How can someone who's not mine by blood be so totally like me? I mean to tell you, everyone who knows me and hears the stories about Kellie all laugh and say:
"Man, she is so totally YOUR daughter."
What do they mean by that anyway?
Anywho....Kim ends up picking up Kellie and takes her to her work, where she gets some rehab on her muscle spasms (legit--believe it or not!) and who then announces that she is able to return to school. (Okay, that's a statement right there that I would have NEVER made in a zillion years) However, not before she got a nice little lecture from the physical therapist about what was going to be expected of her during her rehab from the hip surgery. She needed to hear it from someone, because when Kim and I told her, she wasn't getting the picture.
So tonight, she got a lecture (minor version) of the story about the Boy Who Cried Wolf. She said the therapy this morning did make her back feel much better.
But tomorrow, my little girl is going in for some surgery...and I'm sure she's nervous.
Me? Naaa. Not even a little bit nervous for her.
Liar.
Later,
Jeff
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
10/22/07--Birthday weekend update
So this past weekend started for us at a high school football game on Friday night, which promptly got interrupted by the lightening alarm. Yes sir, nothing sends you running for an exit like a warning bell that you're in danger of being zapped by lightening.
Anyway, since the alarm went off right before halftime, the bands for the two teams retired to the school cafeteria for sort of a "battle of the bands". The kids had a lot of fun and I told Kellie afterwards that I thought I saw something out of their band that I hadn't seen much of this year. The kids looked like they were having fun.
Their teacher, who for various reasons I will not name, is apparently a good "technical teacher". There is nothing wrong with the band's performance from a technical point of view. But they play with no emotion....no sense of just going out and having a good time. Meanwhile, on the other side of the field, we saw the other team's band just whoopin it up, having what looked to be a terrific time.
Saturday Notre Dame got slaughtered by longtime rival USC in what might have been their worst performance of the year. The Florida Panthers suffered a difficult loss on the road to Ottawa. And Andy got a letter from one of his top two schools--Florida Institute of Technology. It notified him that he had been accepted for admission next year. HIS FIRST LETTER OF ADMISSION TO A COLLEGE!!!
So all in all, it was a good day.
Yesterday Kim and I went out with our friends Kim & Jason and met for dinner and then we drove up to West Palm Beach for a concert (Styx, REO Speedwagon & .38 Special on a jam packed triple bill of classic rock!!). Even though it was MY BIRTHDAY (cough, cough), the show was actually a birthday gift for Kim that I had bought back in early August. Kim was in all her glory watching her favorite band from her teenage years, Styx. Luckily, she didn't get real crazy and, ya know, take her clothes off or anything. She was very responsible thank you.
The guys in the row behind will never know what they missed.
Later,
Jeff
Anyway, since the alarm went off right before halftime, the bands for the two teams retired to the school cafeteria for sort of a "battle of the bands". The kids had a lot of fun and I told Kellie afterwards that I thought I saw something out of their band that I hadn't seen much of this year. The kids looked like they were having fun.
Their teacher, who for various reasons I will not name, is apparently a good "technical teacher". There is nothing wrong with the band's performance from a technical point of view. But they play with no emotion....no sense of just going out and having a good time. Meanwhile, on the other side of the field, we saw the other team's band just whoopin it up, having what looked to be a terrific time.
Saturday Notre Dame got slaughtered by longtime rival USC in what might have been their worst performance of the year. The Florida Panthers suffered a difficult loss on the road to Ottawa. And Andy got a letter from one of his top two schools--Florida Institute of Technology. It notified him that he had been accepted for admission next year. HIS FIRST LETTER OF ADMISSION TO A COLLEGE!!!
So all in all, it was a good day.
Yesterday Kim and I went out with our friends Kim & Jason and met for dinner and then we drove up to West Palm Beach for a concert (Styx, REO Speedwagon & .38 Special on a jam packed triple bill of classic rock!!). Even though it was MY BIRTHDAY (cough, cough), the show was actually a birthday gift for Kim that I had bought back in early August. Kim was in all her glory watching her favorite band from her teenage years, Styx. Luckily, she didn't get real crazy and, ya know, take her clothes off or anything. She was very responsible thank you.
The guys in the row behind will never know what they missed.
Later,
Jeff
Sunday, October 14, 2007
10/14/07--A day in Vero Beach
So yesterday Kim & I drove up the coast of Florida to the lovely city of Vero Beach, which for you non-Floridians is between West Palm Beach & Daytona Beach.
The kids had a band competition taking place there, along with about 12 other bands from across the state, and I decided to be a good husband and go---giving up a valuable Saturday afternoon of college football (please, hold your applause until the end of my journal's entry) because I didn't want Kim to have to make a drive of that distance by herself. Wow, is she ever lucky to have me.
I had been sort of back and forth on whether I should go or not, and then Saturday morning I decided to make the trip, and Kim sort of sweetened the pot by offering to check the computer and locate any used book stores in the Vero area (its one of my weak spots--what can I say?).
So we go to the morning performances, and the kids school did--hmm---okay. They were really hindered by the fact that they were easily the smallest school and band that was there though. After we went and got lunch, I dropped Kim off at the stadium and went in search of the stores. The 2nd one I went into was primarily a paperback bookstore and as I browsed through, I could tell that I wasn't going to find much there.
First Bowdren Rule of a used bookstore:
1) If it doesn't smell musty, you're wasting your time.
This place smelled too new. So I'm walking around, and I noticed that all the different sections had a sign above them. "Non-fiction", "Romance", etc. As I walked towards the section that featured writers like Stephen King, Peter Straub & Dean Koontz, I was amused to see the following sign right above the section:
"Weirdos".
Uh....yeah. Nope, not in south Florida anymore.......
Oh, and the kids didn't win the competition. Don't get me started.
Later,
Jeff
The kids had a band competition taking place there, along with about 12 other bands from across the state, and I decided to be a good husband and go---giving up a valuable Saturday afternoon of college football (please, hold your applause until the end of my journal's entry) because I didn't want Kim to have to make a drive of that distance by herself. Wow, is she ever lucky to have me.
I had been sort of back and forth on whether I should go or not, and then Saturday morning I decided to make the trip, and Kim sort of sweetened the pot by offering to check the computer and locate any used book stores in the Vero area (its one of my weak spots--what can I say?).
So we go to the morning performances, and the kids school did--hmm---okay. They were really hindered by the fact that they were easily the smallest school and band that was there though. After we went and got lunch, I dropped Kim off at the stadium and went in search of the stores. The 2nd one I went into was primarily a paperback bookstore and as I browsed through, I could tell that I wasn't going to find much there.
First Bowdren Rule of a used bookstore:
1) If it doesn't smell musty, you're wasting your time.
This place smelled too new. So I'm walking around, and I noticed that all the different sections had a sign above them. "Non-fiction", "Romance", etc. As I walked towards the section that featured writers like Stephen King, Peter Straub & Dean Koontz, I was amused to see the following sign right above the section:
"Weirdos".
Uh....yeah. Nope, not in south Florida anymore.......
Oh, and the kids didn't win the competition. Don't get me started.
Later,
Jeff
Saturday, October 6, 2007
10/7/07--Let's review the day
Hmm....the Cubs....get swept by the D'backs.
The Panthers, opening night at the BAC.....lay an egg and lose 4-1.
Notre Dame....playing on the road in Rose Bowl, against UCLA.....who lost a really tight game to us last year in the last minute...and who went into the game with us as 22 point favorites....................finally win 20-6. Yes folks, the Irish have finally won a game.
Which makes this......a good day.
Later,
Jeff
The Panthers, opening night at the BAC.....lay an egg and lose 4-1.
Notre Dame....playing on the road in Rose Bowl, against UCLA.....who lost a really tight game to us last year in the last minute...and who went into the game with us as 22 point favorites....................finally win 20-6. Yes folks, the Irish have finally won a game.
Which makes this......a good day.
Later,
Jeff
10/6/07---Being mocked in public by the wife
So over the last few months, I've been having some major dental work done. Here's a note kids--take care of your freakin teeth!! And when your younger, like 13 yrs old or so, talk your parents into getting braces for you.
So my dentist has been giving me a couple of crowns and a bridge in my lower left mouth. Apparently she is quite the perfectionist, because even though my new permanent bridge is ready to go, she wasn't totally happy with it and wanted the dental lab to "build it up"--whatever the heck that means. The dental assistant even told me that it was the sort of thing that I wouldn't even notice--but the dentist noticed it.
I don't know, I suppose that's a good thing. So anyway, because of this....I'm still wearing the TEMPORARY bridge. That's the key word. Are ya with me?
So last night, before we go to our kids football game, we're at the lovely Applebee's having dinner and in the middle of biting into my chicken sandwich when I noticed something rolling around my mouth that didn't appear to be--ya know---chicken.
I guess I had a sort of weird look on my face because the wife asked me what was wrong. I spit the item into my hand. (I know, I know...pleasant thought, huh?) Yessir, that's my temporary bridge!!
Later, after gumming my way through the rest of the meal, I placed a call to my dentist's emergency phone number. Her office manager gave me two choices:
1) Come see the dentist the next day (Saturday) and have her fix it.
2) Go to Walgreen's and pick up some Fixodent, and come in Monday as originally scheduled and get the permanent bridge put in.
I told her that I would try #2 and let her know if it worked. So it was later that evening that we pulled into the Walgreen's drugstore and went into the dental aisle. We found the Fixodent and noticed on the box that it was intended, ya know, PRIMARILY for dentures. Oh man, did the wife take that and run with it. So we get to the cashier and my wife blurts out:
"He needs these for his dentures."
Glare from me.
"I want to assure you," I said to the cashier, "that I do NOT have dentures."
"Huh?"
"I do NOT have dentures."
"I believe you."
"Then why are you buying Fixodent?" the wife said, sticking the needle in deeper.
I handed her the bag and walked out, the wife behind me....digging deeper and deeper.
"Look at it this way, its getting you used to used what you may have to do later in life."
And people ask me why I've been married three times.
Later,
Jeff
So my dentist has been giving me a couple of crowns and a bridge in my lower left mouth. Apparently she is quite the perfectionist, because even though my new permanent bridge is ready to go, she wasn't totally happy with it and wanted the dental lab to "build it up"--whatever the heck that means. The dental assistant even told me that it was the sort of thing that I wouldn't even notice--but the dentist noticed it.
I don't know, I suppose that's a good thing. So anyway, because of this....I'm still wearing the TEMPORARY bridge. That's the key word. Are ya with me?
So last night, before we go to our kids football game, we're at the lovely Applebee's having dinner and in the middle of biting into my chicken sandwich when I noticed something rolling around my mouth that didn't appear to be--ya know---chicken.
I guess I had a sort of weird look on my face because the wife asked me what was wrong. I spit the item into my hand. (I know, I know...pleasant thought, huh?) Yessir, that's my temporary bridge!!
Later, after gumming my way through the rest of the meal, I placed a call to my dentist's emergency phone number. Her office manager gave me two choices:
1) Come see the dentist the next day (Saturday) and have her fix it.
2) Go to Walgreen's and pick up some Fixodent, and come in Monday as originally scheduled and get the permanent bridge put in.
I told her that I would try #2 and let her know if it worked. So it was later that evening that we pulled into the Walgreen's drugstore and went into the dental aisle. We found the Fixodent and noticed on the box that it was intended, ya know, PRIMARILY for dentures. Oh man, did the wife take that and run with it. So we get to the cashier and my wife blurts out:
"He needs these for his dentures."
Glare from me.
"I want to assure you," I said to the cashier, "that I do NOT have dentures."
"Huh?"
"I do NOT have dentures."
"I believe you."
"Then why are you buying Fixodent?" the wife said, sticking the needle in deeper.
I handed her the bag and walked out, the wife behind me....digging deeper and deeper.
"Look at it this way, its getting you used to used what you may have to do later in life."
And people ask me why I've been married three times.
Later,
Jeff
Thursday, October 4, 2007
10/4/07--You're probably wondering if I even do a journal anymore
I've always tried to be honest with you, the reader. Where the hell have I been? Why haven't I written? Has some tragedy befallen me that would keep me from writing?
Uh...no. Honestly, I think I've had a combination writer's block//general malaise that has come over me. It is certainly not for a lack of things to write about. I mean, c'mon:
The stinkin Fighting Irish haven't won a game....yet!
Britney is going to lose her children. What's up with that???
I have a teenage daughter---'nuff said.
Hockey season is beginning.
The Cubs made the playoffs!! Heck, the Cubs won their division!!
My son seems to have made his college decision....for now at least. Next month, who knows?
And yet, the visit to the computer to write an entry becomes more a chore than an act of love, from me---to you---the reader.
Maybe its the new fall t.v. season, who knows?
Anyway, Notre Dame's football team is HORRIBLE. We're essentially playing freshmen, sophmores, and a couple of cruddy senior players that Ty Willingham left behind. Thanks Ty! (Expletive deleted)
How bad a mother does Britney Spears have to be that a judge (even in California) would decide that KEVIN FEDERLINE is a better parent? Hey, just because you can have a kid doesn't mean you should raise one. Hey Brit--think REHAB and PARENTING CLASSES.
Hockey season began last night in the NHL and, as I write this, my Florida Panther are just about to drop the puck on the new season. Hopefully the playoffs are a realistic goal for the Panthers this season, who actually invested some $$$ for a change and haven't made the playoffs since....hmm....the Truman administration.
I have a teenage daughter. Ya know, I'm noticing all these gray hairs that I didn't have before. Oh, sure, people warned me. But nobody mentioned anything about the whole being a slob thing. Her room is worse than MINE used to be when I was a teenager!
(No, really....Mom, I'm not kidding!) Any of her little buddies dropping by the old blog for a visit---feel free to bring this up to her. Really....I won't mind.
The Cubs win their division!! Okay, so it was touch and go for a little while, but at least we're not the freakin Mets. Holy cow, what a collapse. Natually we couldn't seal the deal in south Florida, as the lowly Marlins managed to sweep us--which of course prompted lots of stories about the "Bartman incident" and the like. 99 years. That's how long its been for the Cubs and a World Series win. The Marlins have won 2 World Series in 10 years. You would think that the Cubs would have bumbled and stumbled their way to ONE World Series somewhere in the last millinieum, but no! But I digress.
Andy might be moving to the Garden State. New Jersey. Home of Francis Albert Sinatra....the Soprano's....Bruce Springsteen....Bon Jovi....Charlie Weis....and....
Andy Poe-Bowdren?
Might be. As of today, Andy seems set on Stevens Institute of Technology....located in beautiful downtown Hoboken, NJ. For now at least. A month from now? A week?
Eh....who knows.
Later,
Jeff
Uh...no. Honestly, I think I've had a combination writer's block//general malaise that has come over me. It is certainly not for a lack of things to write about. I mean, c'mon:
The stinkin Fighting Irish haven't won a game....yet!
Britney is going to lose her children. What's up with that???
I have a teenage daughter---'nuff said.
Hockey season is beginning.
The Cubs made the playoffs!! Heck, the Cubs won their division!!
My son seems to have made his college decision....for now at least. Next month, who knows?
And yet, the visit to the computer to write an entry becomes more a chore than an act of love, from me---to you---the reader.
Maybe its the new fall t.v. season, who knows?
Anyway, Notre Dame's football team is HORRIBLE. We're essentially playing freshmen, sophmores, and a couple of cruddy senior players that Ty Willingham left behind. Thanks Ty! (Expletive deleted)
How bad a mother does Britney Spears have to be that a judge (even in California) would decide that KEVIN FEDERLINE is a better parent? Hey, just because you can have a kid doesn't mean you should raise one. Hey Brit--think REHAB and PARENTING CLASSES.
Hockey season began last night in the NHL and, as I write this, my Florida Panther are just about to drop the puck on the new season. Hopefully the playoffs are a realistic goal for the Panthers this season, who actually invested some $$$ for a change and haven't made the playoffs since....hmm....the Truman administration.
I have a teenage daughter. Ya know, I'm noticing all these gray hairs that I didn't have before. Oh, sure, people warned me. But nobody mentioned anything about the whole being a slob thing. Her room is worse than MINE used to be when I was a teenager!
(No, really....Mom, I'm not kidding!) Any of her little buddies dropping by the old blog for a visit---feel free to bring this up to her. Really....I won't mind.
The Cubs win their division!! Okay, so it was touch and go for a little while, but at least we're not the freakin Mets. Holy cow, what a collapse. Natually we couldn't seal the deal in south Florida, as the lowly Marlins managed to sweep us--which of course prompted lots of stories about the "Bartman incident" and the like. 99 years. That's how long its been for the Cubs and a World Series win. The Marlins have won 2 World Series in 10 years. You would think that the Cubs would have bumbled and stumbled their way to ONE World Series somewhere in the last millinieum, but no! But I digress.
Andy might be moving to the Garden State. New Jersey. Home of Francis Albert Sinatra....the Soprano's....Bruce Springsteen....Bon Jovi....Charlie Weis....and....
Andy Poe-Bowdren?
Might be. As of today, Andy seems set on Stevens Institute of Technology....located in beautiful downtown Hoboken, NJ. For now at least. A month from now? A week?
Eh....who knows.
Later,
Jeff
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