Sunday, July 30, 2006

7/30/06---Anniversary Number 3!!

Yes, and they said it wouldn't last.  Kim and I recently celebrated our 3rd anniversary--and we're now past 7 years together.  Who knew a woman could put up with me for so long?

She & I were delighted when Kellie & Andy gave us a home made anniversary card.
The words were quite touching....and I thought I'd share them with you....It began:

"Dear Jeff,
       Since you married my mom 3 years ago, I feel like she is different than she was before she met you.  She's a lot happier.  And, I know that I have a read Dad that loves me and cares for me now.  A Dad that knows what to do for me whenever I need to be put back in line or something.
       Happy Anniversary!
Love,
Kellie

Dear Mom,
      Happy Anniversary!!  I know that at first when he met me, he was a little scared because I had that tantrum at Denny's, but he stuck with you and me anyways.  I'm so happy that you married him because now you don't have to raise me and Andy by yourself.  I love you so much!!
Love,
Kellie


Dear Mom & Jeff,
      Happy Anniversary!!  Jeff, you've changed our lives a lot.  Mom, thank you for marrying him, because our lives would be very different if you didn't.
Love you both,
Andy


It seems as though this whole Dad business is agreeing with me.  I'm very proud of my kids.  Just don't tell them....I'm pretty much making up the Dad stuff as I go along.


Last night, to complete the weeklong celebration of our anniversary, we were joined by about 15 friends and family (ahem....although we had a couple of last minute cancellations!!) for a nice evening out at Japan Inn.  Its a Beni-hana style place, where they make your dinner right in front of you.  The dinner was almost as good as the company and it made our anniversary complete.  Its nice to have good friends help you celebrate. 

And now, Kim and I head for year #4.  I've said it before, all I want to do is to make double figures in years with SOMEONE.  Its looking pretty good for Kim....but I've learned that marriage is best when taken one day at a time.  She appears to be a keeper though!!

Later,
Jeff








Saturday, July 22, 2006

7/22/06--A forgotten classic

So its been practically forever since I mentioned a movie on this site...but now's as good a time as any.  One of the signs of a great movie is one that stays with you after you've finished watching it.  You think about it, you wonder what the writer or director of the film was trying to say...what they were trying to convey to their audience.

I've always been a big fan of westerns.  Of course, the inevitable argument remains---John Wayne or Clint Eastwood?  Who was better?  I started out as more of a fan of the Duke...but as I get older I learn to appreciate the squinty eyes of Clint and like his films a little bit more.  My personal top 10 list contains two of Clint's westerns...
1) Unforgiven
2) Outlaw Josey Wales

Those are just two of my top ten of course....no list of great westerns would be complete without mentioning a movie like The Searchers or Red River....those are just four of the genre that I'll mention.  And then....you realize that you've left one of the list.
One that deserves to be mentioned in the same breath with anything on a top 10 list.
Maybe even more amazingly because it was a television movie, although televsion allowed the film to fully realize the entire story as presented by the writer.

A forgotten classic.  That's what I would consider Amazon.com: Lonesome Dove: DVD: Simon Wincer,Robert Duvall,Tommy Lee Jones,Danny Glover,Diane Lane,Robert Urich,Frederic Forr....  What an amazing movie....what an amazing book...what an amazing story.  For those of you unfamilar....Lonesome Dove is the Pulitzer Prize winner story by Larry McMurtry of Woodrow & Gus, two former Texas Rangers who now own a small ranch near a river in southern Texas.  They both realize that old west is rapidly disappearing and decide that what they really need is one last great adventure in their life---bringing a load of cattle and horses north to Montana, which their old friend Jake Spoon (Robert Ulrich) has described as paradise on earth.
They bring with them on the trip a ragtag group of former soldiers and young ranch hands, including Newt (Ricky Shroeder), who may or may not be Woodrow's (Jones) son.  Also along for the ride is the lone prostitute in the small town, the beautiful and lonely Lorena who was abandoned in the town by her pimp and now dreams of moving toSan Francisco.
The journey to Montana is the bulk of the story, as are the adventures they encounter, including skirmishes with Indians and horse thieves....as well as a lawman on the hunt for one of the members of their party.  Its also about friendship and those that you leave behind as you make your way out into the world...and the consequences. 
It also left me with an interesting question.  As I was watching the interviews with the writers and producers, one of the questions asked by the makers of the DVD was....
Where did the title come from?  I mean, sure....that's the name of the ranch....but was does it symbolize?  The producer of the movie seemed to feel that the Lonesome Dove in the movie was Newt....orphaned by his dead mother and unclaimed and unrecognized by his father.  But as I thought about it, I realized that the Lonesome Dove could also be describing Lorena (Diane Lane--never better), the lonely prostitute in the small town loved by so many of the men for many different reasons.  It could also be symbolic of Newt's dead mother....Maggie....the prostitute loved by Woodrow who left him not knowing if Newt was really his.
Lots of questions....but also lots of answers.  Go out of your way to pick up this forgotten classic.  *****  Must see.

Later,
Jeff

Monday, July 17, 2006

7/17/06---You're never too old to be a jackass

So this past Saturday, Kim & I went over to my friend Gary's to help him celebrate his 50th birthday.  It was a very nice evening and gave us a chance to visit with some of our friends and have a few laughs.

Of course, I didn't plan on going out and get more intoxicated than I had been in probably 21 years.

Some of you may recall the story of my bachelor party to wife #1 (She Who Shall Not Be Named) back in early 1985.  That was truly an evening to be remembered, which finished with me be carried into my house and thrown into bed after drinking a potentially lethal combination of:  (stay with me here)
Jack Daniels
Vodka
Peppermint Schnapps
Champagne
Grape Juice (don't ask)

It all made for a lovely cocktail, to say the least.  Anyway, back to the present--and maybe one night I'll give the details to that night again....trust me, its worth telling---we get to Gary's house and are planning a nice evening.  I start off with a nice Vodka (Grey Goose--my own personal choice of the vodka) and OJ.  So far, so good.  However, a couple of things begin to emerge in what would become my perfect storm of a night of drunken stupidity.  One, Gary's house felt like it was at about 95 degrees.  I was sweating like a French brothel worker (that one was cleaned up for Dad).  Then, we went to get something to eat.  Now, at OUR parties, we offer not only the finger food, but an assortment of lunchmeat and BBQ.....so that you have enough to make a meal out of it.  My selection at Gary's?  Two chicken wings and four pigs in a blanket.  (Mini hot dogs wrapped in a croissant)  So I really didn't have that much to eat.....I was sweating up a storm....and I started throwing back the screwdrivers.  Yep, so far....our story is shaping up really nicely.  Then, I compounded my story by beginning to make my own drinks.  Shot glass?  Who needs a shot glass?  I'll do my own measuring here!!
Lessee....vodka....about half the way up....and then some OJ.  Yep, that's what I call a screwdriver!  And then....just to complete our tale of horror....JELLO SHOTS!

Oh my God.  Well, at least I had the good sense to take the jello shots that were made with vodka, so I wasn't mixing liquor.  Anyway, apparently I was being quite amusing the whole evening.  I mean, not lampshade amusing or anything....but I was offering a relatively amusing series of andectotes on pretty much everything....and everyone.
The evening's toll on my was not revealed until around 10ish.....when Gary was sitting around telling a story about a squirrel who had ended up getting into his pool somehow.
I was following the story intently....and then offered this little gem:

"So, uh......the pool was....uh....in the pool?"  (Obviously I meant to say that the SQUIRREL was in the pool....but it didn't quite come out that way)

All of a sudden about 5 pairs of eyes turned and looked at me, trying to suppress a laugh.  I looked down into the drink in my hand.

"Uh-oh."

I was three sheets to the wind....and suddenly realized it.
Thankfully, we left soon after that and I had the God given good sense to hand the car keys to my wife.  She got me home (there's a drive home I don't quite remember with a great deal of lucidity) and got me to bed....I got myself undressed thank you very much.
Kim was sort of laughing that she had never seen me this intoxicated.

The next morning I woke up about 5:30am with a spliting headache and stumbled to the bathroom for a Tylenol.  I got back to bed and carefully laid myself back down.

"You feeling okay?" Kim asked quietly.
"I have a whopper of a headache....but other than that I'm okay."

A minute or so went by as I reflected on my evening.

"Honey, please tell me that I didn't make a jackass of myself tonight."
"No, you didn't.  Actually....I always knew you were funny, but when you're drunk...you're hilarious."

I laid there thinking a little more and then it dawned on me that my direct supervisor had shown up for the evening....and I remembered making some sort of comment to her.....

"Oh God," I said, "please tell me that I didn't insult Beth."
"No," Kim said, "you didn't.  All you said was that it looked like she was in a prom dress."
"Well, that's not too bad I guess."

Dramatic pause of about 10 seconds or so.

"Oh," Kim continued, "then you make the remark about how it looked like one of her breasts was about to come out of her dress."

DOH!

I spent that day wondering if I had done something that I had forgotten about.  I really worried that I might have done something inappropriate.  I came into work today and noticed that Beth was already at her desk and sort of casually made my way over.

"Please tell me...that in my evening of drunken stupidity...that I didn't say anything offensive or inappropriate to you because if I did....I am so sorry."
"No," she said, "not at all.  You were really funny."

WHEW.  That was a close one.

I decided to use the incident as a learning tool, and sat the kids down and told them how stupid I had been and the dangers that could've transpired if I had tried to drive home after all that alcohol.  Maybe being a jackass for one evening can serve as a learning experience.

As it was though....I received rave reviews from everyone at the party.....who told me that I was at my zenith as the office comedian.

No lampshades though.

Later,
Jeff

Thursday, July 13, 2006

7/13/06---And by the way....guess what today is?

Two years.  My two year blog anniversary.  Who the hell figured I'd keep this thing going this long?  Geez, I'm usually way too lazy for this sort of thing.  Two years and almost 4700 hits on the site.  Thanks for everyone who stops by...whether its on a regular basis or just once in a blue moon.  Thanks for either caring, being interested, or being really bored and having nothing better to do than to see what in the blue hell is going on in my life.

Later,
Jeff

7/13/06--The results are in!

So we go back to the Georgia Dome on Friday...get there around 9am and find out that the competition has already been going on for about 1/2 hour.  I'm pretty happy with that.  I figure, their off to a good start, things are looking up after yesterday.

Wrong.

Naturally, with two kids in the tournament, somehow....someway....through luck of the draw they were both scheduled to compete at the same time.  So Kim walks to the other side of the stadium and starts giving me the blow-by-blow account of Kellie's match.....while I'm waiting for Andy to get into the ring.

Kellie Poe-Bowdren....occasional whiner....drama queen extraordinare.......and.....
Gold medal winner in her class in tae kwon do.  And ya know what?  She flat out whooped some ass.  She won 7-0 and they stopped the match on what basically amounts to the slaughter rule.  She was so far in front of her opponent that they ended it.  Kim was giving me the account and it was great.

Meanwhile, Andy starts out....and in the first round he wins by 1 point.  He goes into the 2nd round against an opponent that is a total headhunter....trying the entire match to score extra points by getting in shots at Andy's head....and at the end of the match they are tied.  Over-time.
First point wins the match and before the headhunter can make his move Andy scores with a kick to the chest and wins the match.  He continues to advance in his belt class...into the gold medal round!  Amazing.

Andy lost the gold medal round....but it didn't matter.  The entire school was sitting around us watching and cheering Andy on.  It was so fulfilling watching the other parents and kids in the school root for Andy during his amazing run.  He finished with a silver medal...and amazing accomplishment, but was treated almost as if he had won a gold medal right along with his sister....who, by the way....was the only person in the school to win a gold medal.  It was totally awesome....other than, of course, the 12 hour stay at the Georgia Dome that day.  Yep...got there at 9am....left around 9:30.
PM.
I never want to see that building again.

The Bowdren's went to Atlanta.  We came, we saw.....we left with the medals.
Adios Atlanta.


Later,
Jeff

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

7/12/06--My wife meets Abdullah the Butcher

So its Thursday, and we spent the better part of the day (10am-ish until around 7pm) at the Georgia Dome.  Of course, the fact that neither of our children were competing is beside the point.  Its all about getting out to support the other kids on the team.  And of course, since we got there at 10am.....the one kid competing that day has his match....at
around 6:30.  I think I was beginning to hallucinate at one point it was so boring.  Kim and I had decided afterwards that we were going to make a BBQ run, and the kids wanted to go back to the hotel and get in some training with their teammates (as a matter of fact--Kellie was becoming downright obsessive about it) so we got them some fastfood (naturally more KFC for the now fried chicken obsessed Andy) and headed out looking at the mapquest for the next BBQ joint.
Abdullah the Butcher was a pretty big deal in wrestling for about 20 years.  I say that literally and figuratively, since the guy is about an order of peach cobbler shy of 500 lbs.
Abby (as he was known) was what the wrestling industry like to refer to as a gimmick performer, meaning that his matches were usually less than 5 minutes long....almost always featured someone bleeding (Abby being the most likely choice) and usually involved Abby being chased around the building by someone like Dusty Rhodes or Bruiser Brody.  It was all big fun, made even more amazing by the fact that Abby never did an interview.  His gimmick was that he was a bloodthirsty cannibal from the Sudan.
Now, you might remember the Sudan from the movie "Blackhawk Down", which was a terrific and bloody film about a terrible incident that took place there.....but I can't remember the locals in the film being, ya know....actual cannibals.  Anyway, I'm bringing all of this up because after his retirement, Abdullah the Butcher....real name "Larry Shreeve" (you have no idea how much his real name made me laugh when I discovered it after watching the guy absolutely live the gimmick for 20 years) moved to Atlanta and opened up his own restaurant, called....here's another classic:

Abdullah the Butcher' s House of Ribs......and Chinese Food.

No, really.  That's the name.  So as we pull up to the restaurant, Kim says:

"I don't wanna eat here."
"Why?"
"Ribs and Chinese food?  What sort of combination is that?  Yeech."
"Honey, yesterday we had lunch at a restaurant that advertised chicken and waffles.
All of a sudden you have a problem with ribs and chinese food?"
"I just don't wanna eat here."
"Okay, okay....let me at least take a photo and see if they have any shirts for sale."

So we get out of the car....walk up to the front door of the restaurant.....and who is sitting at a table having a conversation?

The wildman of the Sudan.

I go up to the front counter....no shirts for sale.  Damn!  We're heading for the exit, and I stop by where Abby is sitting and ask very politely if he wouldn't mind letting me get a snapshot since I had traveled all the way from Ft. Lauderdale.  He couldn't have been more gracious.  Then, after we had taken the photo....he says....

"Here, you get a photo too." (pointing at Kim)
"Oh that's okay, I'm not much of a wrestling fan."
"That's okay...come over here and pose for a photo."

Kim moved.  Fast.  Maybe she thought he'd chase her around the building.

He told us to go and get something to eat, but I lied and told him that (cough, cough) we had just eaten and were full and that I really only wanted to get some shirts.  He gave me a couple of menu's to go and was really a nice guy.

And then we drove a few miles down the road and had dinner at a BBQ joint that did not have Chinese food on the menu....but did have biscuits made from scratch.  Mmm.
The BBQ Kitchen.  It was good stuff, even if we were sitting next to a guy who didn't have a foot.

That sort of stuff happens ONLY to me.

Later,
Jeff

PS....FINALLY, FINALLY tomorrow.....the kids compete.  Yep, its go time.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

7/11/06---More from Atlanta

So as I was saying, the next day was Wednesday....first we head out to a local mall to do a little shopping, and all is going well until....I run across a pet store that sells college football merchandise.  My boys wearing Notre Dame collars!  Suffice to say, after dropping around $115, Kim pushed me out the front door towards the exit.  After that we start the drive towards downtown--and its really a beautiful drive.  The rolling hills and and older houses along the drive really make for nice viewing.
So as our time is slipping by, we decide to look for lunch.  Easier said than done.  We park the car---oh, and by the way, there are ZERO free parking spots in Atlanta---and get out looking for the restaurant we'd chosen....and we can't find it.  So we decide to keep going, and we stumble upon the restaurant with the greatest name in the history of restaurants:

Gladys Knight's......"Chicken & Waffles".

We walk into the restaurant, and we're the only white folks in the joint.  Hey, sometimes you need to go to the hood for some quality southern cooking!  Kim and I both get the smothered chicken, Andy continues his new found obsession with fried chicken.....and Kellie is busy obsessing about whether or not she's going to put on weight and have to go to a new weight class in the tournament (weigh in's were later).  After lunch we went back down into the heart of the city and did the tour of CNN.  During the tour, they did a mock newscast to show everyone how they did the tele-prompter, etc.....and who got chosen to be the newscaster?  Our very own Kellie Poe-Bowdren....after a slight prompting (Cough, cough---"push") from her mom.  She had a lot of fun and enjoyed (I know this is going to shock you) being the center of attention.  Later that evening we took the kids, at Kellie's urging, to a Mexican place for dinner.  No BBQ.  I was going through withdrawls.

Later,
Jeff

Tomorrow--the competition begins....what happens to the kids?

Sunday, July 9, 2006

7/9/09---The Return

So we got back early last evening and I felt like a fluffer at a Traci Lords film festival.
You know...totally spent.  9 1/2 hour drives will do that to you I guess.  It would've been longer if I had been driving, but thank God my wife and her lead foot actually likes to do the driving, which lets me....you know, get in some quality reading time.
We had a terrific time in Hot-lanta but are glad to be home.....lets take a look at a brief (who, me??) recap of our adventures in the big city.

Day 1 starts off around 10ish, when we left for a relaxing drive up on Monday the 3rd.
We stopped for lunch at the dreaded Shoneys (recommended by Kellie thank you very much) where, after our buffet lunch...it was decided that we NEVER, EVER want to go to a Shoneys again.  I mean at least in THIS lifetime.  That's how bad the food was.
We stopped for lunch around 1:30ish, and I realize that it was a little late for the normal lunch crowd...but I'm here to tell you, that lunch buffet had been picked clean like hyenas had the run of the place for an hour or so.  So we walked up and look at the selection and I sorta look at the woman behind the buffet counter and say:

"Um....is this it?"
"Oh no, their preparing another round in the back."
"Is is going to be out here anytime SOON?""
"Well....um, eventually it will."

She had the cheeriest smile on her face when she said it.  It was so bad that I said something to my son that I almost never say.  He had gotten what was supposedly a piece of fried chicken (maybe a breast, although I'm not positive) and was sort of looking at it trying to find anything remotely resembling actual sustenance on the thing and I said to him...

"Son, I'm not going care if you choose not to eat that piece of chicken."

The look of relief that flooded over him was visible.

Later that day we pull into the Sheraton Suites in Atlanta and got settled in.  Later we went out to find dinner (after that wonderful lunch go figure that we were all famished) and stumbled upon a place called "Folks" (lots of time spent on that name obviously) that advertised that it specialized in southern cooking.  Well now, for a boy that spent his summers as a youth in the low country of South Carolina---hello, dinner!
So we're all making our selections, and somewhat surprisingly, Andy decides to select what is advertised as "Atlanta's best fried chicken"---I say surprisingly because I couldn't blame the boy if he was scarred for life away from chicken after his lunch time experience and also because, well, quite frankly, its not like he's much of a fried chicken eater to begin with.  So he's halfway through his chicken (3 pieces) and declares:

"This is the best chicken I've ever had in my life."

I'm with his mother for 7 years and all of a sudden he discovers that he likes fried chicken.  Its about damn time.  If I can get him to start eating BBQ, it will be like he was mine from the get go.

The 2nd day, which was the fourth of July, we decided that we wanted to do a little sight seeing so we really just drove away from the hotel and started heading toward the middle of town.  Its an incredibly beautiful old city, with lots of rolling hills and beautiful houses.  Our first stop doing the tourist thing was the Atlanta Aquarium, which is one of the world's largest and is the only one of its type that has a whale shark in captivity.
And what's even more amazing is that they don't have just one, they have THREE!
One of the really spectacular moments came as you walk throughout the exhibit is when you walk under the containment tank where the whale sharks are kept, and look up watching the sharks swim directly over you--all the while the sun is shining through the roof--its really breathtaking.
Next up we walked approximately 27 miles (or at least it seemed that way) to the Coca-Cola plant (and good Lord does Atlanta advertise Coke and all its products--its hard being a Pepsi drinker and going to Atlanta).  Its a pretty fun tour and at the end they have this all these different Coke products from throughout the world.  Some of them were fairly tasty--and some were--ahem....they were not.  Let's just leave it at that.
And in case I forgot to mention it.....oh dear Lord in heaven....was it hot in Atlanta that day.  I mean, not just the equator like heat---the humidity was overwhelming.  As Kim said at least once on the trip---it was a two shirt day, because once you got back to the hotel room, you wanted to change clothes because you felt so yucky.  So after the Coke plant (interesting way of referring to it) we walked over to Underground Atlanta, which used to be a terrific tourist spot in the 70's & 80's.....but that was about 20 years ago and now its sorta, well.....not so great.  I remembered my last visit, somewhere around '75when my parents and I went to visit my sister and we were headed to this restaurant in Underground Atlanta and my dad totally ripped his pants and.......well, this is the point in the story where my dad is reading going:

"Oh good God....he's not going to tell THAT story, is he?"

Thankfully for Dad, I really don't remember much more than that.  But I do remember the pants ripping....and I'm not talking about a small rip either....just for the record.

So then we make the calm and rational decision to get a cab to take us to our next destination---the Georgia Dome, which was where the kids tae kwon do tournament was going to be held.  Oh, and did I mention that there was a parade going on?  This resulted in us taking....uh....the rather circular route to the Dome.  Which was okay, because at least we were in air conditioning and our cab driver was this old black guy who was hilarious.  No teeth whatsoever on his upper row, so his words were half slurred....and naturally I struck up a conversation with him and as Kim likes to say, I also immediately went into my "southern talk" mode.  You know, where I speak southern.
So I asked the guy where the old Atlanta City Auditorium was located.

"Oh, that's right over there.  That building.  That's where they used to hab rasslin."
"That's right.  Did you used to watch it?"  (Kim in the backseat, rolling her eyes)
"Oh yeah....I used to like the masked man...what was his name?"
"Mr Wrestling # 2?"
"That was him!  Master Rasslin Nubber Two!"

We talked for the next 10 minutes or so about the old days of Atlanta wrestling.  He mentioned that his birthday was coming up later in the week, so I gave him a $5 dollar tip and told him to enjoy a cold beverage on me.

"So...." I said to Kim as he drove away, "whatta ya suppose the odds are that its really his birthday later in the week?"

I didn't care...the old guy remembered the old wrestlers, talked to me about them and that was worth $5 to me.

The Georgia Dome is truly a massive structure.  But it has no personality, you know?
The kids did their registration for the tournament and we headed back to the hotel, where after the afore mentioned change of clothes we headed out for dinner...to the end of a 12 year quest.  It was around 12 years ago I read a book about a couple of guys who decided at the start of the college football season that they were going to try and hit as many legendary college football stadiums during the season as they could.  One of the sites they went to was Bryant-Denny stadium in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, home of the Bama Crimson Tide.  During that part of their trip, they stopped by and visited Dreamland BBQ, home of the nations best ribs.  As I read the story all those years ago, I made a decision that one day.....one day.....I would make my way to Dreamland.
Hey, its what fat guys do.  You walk in and its like a college football shrine, so right away---even before food is served---its going to get a big thumbs up.  Tons of photos from former college football greats and all sorts of memorablia (mainly from the SEC).
I just knew my man RPM would be in the same sort of state of nirvana that I was in.
We sat down and enjoyed a great dinner.  The ribs and the BBQ sauce were both top notch.  The waitress was new, and kept giving me unsweetened tea instead of sweetened.  That's the sort of thing that could ruin a visit to an ordinary place.  But Dreamland is no ordinary place.

Next up....the tournament begins!

Later,
Jeff

Monday, July 3, 2006

Off to---Badstreet, Atlanta G.A........

Over 20 years ago (YIKES!).....wrestler Michael Hayes of the Fabulous Freebirds wrote a song called "Badstreet USA".   He referred to their "hometown" of Atlanta as
"Badstreet USA"......the baddest street in the country...and they lived on the last house on the right.

So today we're getting ready to travel to Hot-lanta for the junior Olympics.  The kids will be competing in tae kwon do and I'm sure it will be a very rewarding experience for them---meanwhile, Kim & I will be looking for the BBQ joints in Atlanta to check out.
Either way....I'm sure we'll all have a good time....although I wish the dogs were coming.  Can you imagine Midnight on Badstreet USA?

"Badstreet......Atlanta G.A......Badstreet in the whole USA....
Badstreet....nasty and hot....the further down the block you went....
The badder it got."

Later,
Jeff

Sunday, July 2, 2006

7/2/06--ATTENTION LADIES.....SPORTS UPDATE FORTHCOMING....RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!!

So you're probably wondering....Jeff....your Mr. Sports Knowledge and all (appreciate you noticing)....and as a south Florida resident....what are your thoughts on the whole Roberto Luongo trade in hockey?

Well, I'm glad you asked me that question, because there may be as many as 1 or 2 of you who actually care...so screw the masses, I'm going to do a little hockey commentary!

Bottom line here is that Roberto--or should I say--Roberto's AGENT (scumbag) tried one too many times to stick his hand in the old piggy bank.  My sources tell me (cough, cough....the internet) that late last Saturday, the day before the NHL draft, that the Panthers and Roberto had basically agreed in principal to a new deal that would make both sides happy.  So then, Roberto's agent....Claude something-or-other...goes to Roberto and says:

"Ya know...we're giving them a lot of stuff here.  Let me go back and make a demand for a little more money, just to see if they'll cough it up."

Lawyers.  UGH.

So Florida Panthers G.M. Mike Keenan, who's not exactly Mr. Popularity within the local hockey community here, sort of throws his hands up in there air and decides that he's pretty much had enough.  And in Mike's defense (wow--that hurts!), Roberto was coming off as just a bit of a diva....I need this guarantee, I need this special thing....all of this for, as the hockey websites have consistently reminded us....a terrific young goalie, maybe the best young goalie in the world---who has been in a grand total of ZERO NHL playoff games.  So Keenan pulls the trigger with Vancouver and gets, in return, defenseman Bryan Allen, a former #1 pick and probably a lst line but no worse than a 2nd line d-man.....Alex Auld, a young goalie who had his first significant playing time this season after an injury to the Canucks regular goalie and managed to finish with a winning record of around 34-30 (which was pretty much what Luongo's record was) and finally....and the key to the deal, lst line center Todd Bertuzzi.  Now Todd had a well publicized incident from a couple of years back where he pretty much blindsided this guy from Colorado named Steve Moore and ended up being prosecuted for it in a criminal court of law.  Last year was his first year back since the incident, and he had (for him) a relatively disappointing year with 71 points.  I say for him, because if he had that total with the Panthers, trust me...we'd do cartwheels.  Anyway, the whole key to the trade is how Bertuzzi adjusts to the trade.  If he refocuses himself and his career in south Florida, where the media spotlight won't be 1/10th of what it is in Canada, he could really turn it around and end up being the huge, physical center that the Panthers have never really had....he's mean, wicked and nasty around the net and consistently scores points and looks out for his teammates.  That said, there were also rumors that he was a bit of a headache in the lockerroom for the Canucks--head coach Jacques Martin and captain Olli Jokkinen need to nip that in the bud, and hopefully the presence of veteran leadership like Joe Nieuwyndyk will also help.  Its pretty much expected that Luongo will do well in Vancouver--under the microscope of course and with that new contract he just signed (the one that ultimately will be less based on Canadian taxes and the fact that in Florida he paid no state income tax---HELLLOOOOO!!)---and I think that Allen will be as solid as expected while Auld will continue to develop in goal...although perhaps not as spectacularly as Luongo.....the key to the whole deal is Bertuzzi.  He needs to come in with his head on straight and ready to be the player that he was two years ago, when he scored 100 points. 

Later,
Jeff